Know what bothers me more than homework?

Currently Listening To: Hiphopper by Thomas Rusiak feat Teddybears Sthlm(Jay and Silent Bob soundtrack)
The realization that at some point, I have to start said homework. This wouldn't be so much of a problem if my dad and I didn't have to finish watching War of the Worlds. I suppose Ray wasn't such a bad father after all. He tried a considerable bit, to the best of his abilities. What a stand-up guy.

The Cave-In

Currently Listening To: Under Pressure by David Bowie and Queen/Queen and David Bowie(I don't know who goes first)

I've caved. I'm now going to actually talk about, like, politics and shit. But not for long, I promise. Well, I'm not actually going to talk about that boring stuff. But what I will do is say how I feel about various things.

• Abortion: Doesn't bother me. People seem to lose sight of the fact that legal abortions don't mean that everyone's going to kill their babies. Just the people who, for one reason or another, can't be pregnant/raide a child.
  
• Gay marriage: Doesn't bother me. Besides, they, for the most part, as I understand, just want it so they can get the same benefits as 'normal' couples. I can't disagree with that. And don't get started on that "It's against the Bible!" stuff, because there's freedom of religion and all that stuff, so one religion's law is no better than any other one. Yeah, yeah, how do you like me now?
  
• Iraq war: Shouldn't have gone in but we can't just drop everything and leave. But I definitely think we need to hurry it on up. From the sound of it, dem Iraqis aren't too happy with the way things are being run right now.
  
• Immigration: Don't care. If people who didn't have the best of lives want to come in and do jobs here better than the people who were doin them, so be it.
  
• Restless Leg Syndrome: A frightening epidemic we as a nation must not avoid any longer. KIDDING. Anyone who gets medicine for that is a whiny little biatch.
• Giant Jesus Statue: Unsightly. Besides, everyone knows that Jesus wasn't white.
  
• Bush: NOT an idiot. He just sucks at speaking. That, combined with his cowboy accent and questionable decision making just make him sound like a moron. And did you see that thing last week where he was leaving an interview, but the doors were locked? That was a nice save.
  
• Welfare: Good on paper, not so good in execution. I wish we could expand it further, like certain European countries, but people would without a doubt take advantage of it so they don't have to even look for a job even though they're capable, like in certain European countries. I am not making assumptions here, I know a particular person guilty of this.
  
• Kidnapping children to perform Satanic rituals on them to get your girl back: Doesn't bother me
  
• Scientology: The funniest thing to ever come out of Hollywood. Can't wait for the sequel. ALSO KNOWN AS... Don't do this to me, Tom Cruise. You were cool. Now... not so much.
  
• That bee that stung me earlier today: One sorry son of a bitch. I'm glad I killed him, he had it coming.

Oh, and ONE MORE THING. If I hear ANY more bitching about this "Happy Holidays" vs. "Merry Christmas" thing, I will kill someone. You know what's REALLY taking the meaning out of the holiday? Mobs at Wal-Mart for a mother fucking X-Box. I hope all you bastards rot.

CNN.com - Witness in Saddam Hussein trial dead - Nov 25, 2005

Sadaam is looking stylish, if I might say so myself. Those glasses are fairly trendy.

CNN.com - 1,000th execution slated for next week - Nov 24, 2005
Let's throw a party!

Aren't most magazines anti-Fascist to begin with?

No words to describe what I feel after reading this.

Oh, and Mr. Miyagi died. Well, that raps up today's evening news. I regret to inform you that you'll never get the minutes you spent reading that back, ever. Serves you right, mothah fuckaaaaaaaaahs.

And NOW For A Real Post

Currently Listening To:No Brakes by the Bravery
As an OFFICIAL Fat Kid, I should be thrilled it is Thanksgiving. What ,with all the food involved, it should be my favorite holiday. But it's not. Why? Because TURKEY SUCKS. I mean seriously, how can you people eat that crap? I'd rather eat sheep than turkey. But I eat it anyways, thus proving I'm a fat kid. I do, however, like just about everything else associated with Thanksgiving. Bread, stuffing, corn, mashed potatoes with gravy, pumpkin pie... That stuff is good. But not turkey. No turkey. Noturkey. Tofurkey.

That sucks too.

AND in other news, the fam and I went on a delightful little outing yesterday. The zoo, the Cyclorama and a few hours in Little Five Points. There was much drama, slong with excellent burgers, pandas, a cool record store, homeless people and veces being thrown(Damn gorillas). I'm not going to talk much about the drama, but I will say that it caused my parents to look at a recurring family issue from another perspective. Damn, that sounded emo. Speaking of which, my brother has found my weakness: calling me emo. Damn that pisses me off to no end. His definition, which he used to describe the term to my parents? RYAN. Damn, that pisses me off. I bought Ahead of the Lions and the Jay and Silent Bob soundtrack for TEN DOLLARS at that record store. Ick kass. I ate the best burger EVER at some place in Little 5 Points. I forgot the name of the place, but their trademark was the Chubby Burger. And the Chubby Burger kicked ass. Except I probably am going to have a heart attack because of eating it. And then... we... did some... other stuff, I guess. I kind of forgot. Whatevs.

The Emo Song

I love ytmnd.com. You're the man now, dog!
S'more for your Novemberween viewing pleasure:
Paris Hilton doesn't change facial expressions
ANIME IS ORIGINAL? (facial expression)
French riot lol
Conan is...RAIDEN
What is a ho?
Katamari Simpsonique
Commie Propoganda(I keed, I keed)
What is RLRLRLRLRGH?
***PLEASE NOTE***: If you've never been to ytmnd.com, you may not fully grasp the hilarity that it is. Go to the main page first and watch some of the all time faves listed, and then look at these.

www.myspace.com/februarysclosure

Some kids in my grade and a weird guy they know have a band. Tell me what you think.

Here, Have A Recycled Post

From last year:

I Always Felt Bad For Thanksgiving

It feels like people have Halloween and just jump straight on to Christmas. I mean, the day after Thanksgiving, it's the biggest shopping day of the year. Why is it the biggest shopping day of the year? Everyone is preping for Christmas. And there are songs and movies made for Christmas, to go along side all of the Christmas-special episodes of T.V. shows. What does Thanksgiving get? A parade and a fucking dog show. Who watches dog shows in the first place, besides people who participate in them? Anyways, I thought I'd rant for no reason and with very limited support for my bitching.


This is in anticipation for the leftovers from that thing... you know, the big holiday about a month before Christmas? Amish people and Indians, ro something. Whatever. It's no big deal.

"It ain't about no booty, it's about twisted transistors." -Snoop Dogg

Currently Listening To: Twisted Transistor by Korn
I just saw a picture on CNN.com of some Canadians outside a GM factory. They were all dressed like lumberjacks.

They really are all lumberjacks or mounties in the Great North. And if they aren't one of those, they play hockey or teach future lumberjacks, mounties and hockey players how to lumberjack, mounty or hockey. MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE.

Spooooooky

ABC Song

Just in time for the holiday season.

Jimbodia Online

Jimbodia now has a website. IF youare interested in obtaining a FREE title and seat on the Jimbodian parliament, call Jimbodia's national hotline. If you don't know the number, well, I dunno, it's usually in my AIM profile somwheres.

Log vs. Fax

Because there is no sun to power the Solar Death Ray... GRAVITY DEATH LOG IS BORN!

A Brilliant Scheme/New Half-Baked Idea

Currently Listening To:We'll Make It Away by Kid Down
I was reading about the micronation of Sealand and was simply inspired. I HAD to become involved. I figured I would buy one of the titles Sealand has for sale on eBay so I can be called Lord Ryan instead of just Ryan. That would look excellent on my college resume. But alas, the bastards are bringing me down. So I'll start my own nation. Jimbodia's area covers about 15 by 12 square feet and sits in northwest Georgia, just miles from Atlanta and it's magnificent airport. Prime Minister Ryan has been in power for, oh, fifteen minutes, just moments after being founded. He was appointed by Governer Ryan, who also holds a seat on Jimbodia's Parliament. The other members are Casey the guitar case, the Chicken Little bobble head on my computer and SexCouch.

CNN.com - AFI looking for 100 most inspiring films - Nov 18, 2005

I'm a bit disturbed that the Passion is on there. Regardless of your faith, that is NOT uplifting. At all. That's like, bondage and stuff disguised as Jesus. Wanna know a truly up lifting movie? Hide and Creep, one of the best zombie movies I saw today. The only zombie movie I saw today, but that's beside the point. It was basically Shaun of the Dead, in Alabama, without the serious parts. The romance either. And more boobs. And a penis shot for the ladies. Kinda like 28 Days Later. Well, not really. The only similarity between the two is the penis and the zombies. And they weren't really zombies in 28DL, they were angry people. So really the only thing the two have in common is a penis.
Funny how I segwayed from Jesus to penis.

CNN.com - Ex-CIA boss: Cheney is 'vice president for torture' - Nov 18, 2005
He says Cheney is out of touch with the American people. Well DURRRRRRRR. Guess what? He's a politician. Being out of touch with the other 99.99% of the country is in the job description. The only way to get 'with-it' politicians would be to do what they do in German. Have candidates' campaigns funded by the party, not by the candidate and their supporters. That way, people who aren't rich and are maybe better qualified can run. Then the world wouldn't be in the shitter.

Diary Of A Fat Kid

That's right, I'm linking to myself. I'm just that great.

I'm actually making another post to tell you dumb hicks about the NEW thing down at the bottom of the page, where you get to re-live all the photographic awesome-ness to ever occur here.

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Arts | Literary classics become txt msgs

This weeks sign of the apocalypse.

I'm Worthless

Currently Listening To: Bombs Away by PAris Texas(REALLY want this CD for Decemberween)
That's right, I gave up on the Star Wars marathon. I decided it wouldn't be a good idea to sit on my ass for 15 hours, so I made a pact with my other personality to leave the romm and do something very quick upstairs after each movie. After Phantom Menace, it was get a bag of chips. After Attack of the Clones, it was take the chips back upstairs and brush my teeth. I did, saw the computer still on, and decided to check my e-mail and stuff(As usual, no one sent me an e-mail. Probably because no one knows I have an e-mail address.). That was 45 minutes ago. I get distracted very easily. Hey, I kicked ass on my exams. Finished the trimester with ONE B. FOUR A'S. HOLY SHIT, BATMAN, I AM TWELVE KINDS OF AWESOME. But worthless at the same time because I can't complete a simple task. I suppose I'd be more worthless if I, say, actually managed to watch TV for 15 hours straight, but whatever. Maybe I'm not worthless after all.

A Daunting Task

Currently Listening To: Head Like A Hole by Nine Inch Nails
There will likely not be a new post tomorrow, as I will be busy. From about 9 a.m. to midnight, I will be in the spooky basement, watching the ENTIRE Star Wars saga. Fifteen hours of nerdiness. Actually, I may start even earlier so the undesirables don't claim the T.V. first. So maybeI can wrap up by ten or eleven. I guess we'll see. I must say, this whole setting goals (I've wanted to do this for a while) is quite fun.

Now for some whining, because I know you love it. It's the possible part of a many-post arc of complaining about how the system at our school doesn't work. Let's start with, say, the department/department head portion. Oh, it's a great idea in theory. All the teachers in each department serve directly under one teacher deemed to be champion of the subject at hand, who keeps the other schlubs in check. But in one case that I'm well aware of, this isn't what is happening. This department is the one directly above the cafeteria, where students are lectured about dead people. Yeah, that one. Anyways, a CERTAIN teacher who is the head of the department also happens to teach three of the four available honors classes in there. "Where is the problem?" you ask. Well, my friend, the problem lies in the question of who keeps that teacher in check? How does one sort out issues with teachers through the department head when the departmen head is the teacher there's an issue with? How can one bring the problem with the fact that this teacher doesn't seem to want kids to succeed when you'd be talking about him, to him? You CAN'T. This is NOT GOOD. In fact, I'd go as far as saying it is bad. I think the root of the problem is teachers with rough school careers when they were students and now have power complexes. I don't know that this is the case for a fact, but it wouldn't suprose me. Treaty poorly by his peers so he passes the revenge along to a new generation.

That was fun.

IOL: Van Damme wanted to fight terrorism

I just got a little dumber. Duuuuummmmmmmerrrr

CNN.com - Kazakhstan threatens to sue comedian - Nov 15, 2005

2 things: A)Who has an agenda against Kazacrapastan? and 2)Why? Who cares about them? I'd say they suck, but I don't care enough about them to do so. And 3), Ali G is a bad ass. I fink someone 'ere has a genda 'gainst me boy Ali G.

CNN.com - 'Cool mom' gets 30 years for sex parties - Nov 15, 2005
She doesn't look very cool. I wouldn't go to one of her parties. Damn.

Halfway done with exams. I say halfway becuase history counts as two. Funny I should say that, as I should be studying for that right now, but alas, I am not.

Moon Unit Zappa tops celebrity children bizarre names poll - Yahoo! News

2 things: A) Moon Unit is a great name, and 2) Why didn't Pirate make the list?

I'm A Fatty

If you don't believe me, just ask my chair.

I Love Celebrities

Currently Listening To:Your Woman by White Town
Like Madonna, who thinks so highly of herself that after the release party of her new CD had the copy of the CD that was played at the party destroyed so it wouldn't 'fall into the wrong hands'. That's like when Colplay's new CD was about to come out and all the journalists who wanted to review it had to listen to it on an iPod in a locked glass case in a room with armed guards. I'm glad to see that all these artists are simply doing it to express themselves and not to make money.

Still in high school, teen is Hillsdale's new mayor

What a friggin' badass. It's a shame that damn school will get in the way of all the mayoral keg parties.

Me Actually Caring About Football For Once

Currently Watching: Life Is Beautiful (Check it out)


Don't expect a repeat. Now I'm going to talk about people who have realized that they and their day-to-day lives have no impact whatsoever on the world and then decide that that means they need to be mean to kids. These people are namely people who work at schools. Let's face the facts; librarians, bus drivers and lunch ladies aren't exactly jobs that only a select few are cut out for. Most people could do it. To make sure their employers don't realize this, and in the case of the librarians, that their jobs serve no purpose at all, they pretend that they and their jobs are important and the ability to perform the jobs are a unique trait that is only attibuted to one in a million humans. What does this mean for you? Send a letter to your Congressman requesting that all mean librarians named Mrs. **** have their jobs terminated because Mrs. **** is mean and pretends that her job matters and is difficult, but it doesn't and it isn't.

THERE IS AN INTERNATIONAL CONSPIRACY BREWING AT MY SCHOOL

TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS
Every day, the bell for the start of zeroth period goes off a few seconds earlier and the bell for the end rings a little bit later. End of coach class bell? A little earlier every day. Time between beginning and end of break? Gradually shrinking. Bell for end of history(OH SO BORING)? Later every day. What's happening? The Man is trying to erradicate his nemesis: free time. WE'RE FUCKED.

CNN.com - Slain Palestinian boy's organs donated - Nov 7, 2005

That's... nice... I suppose. Is that nice? I don't know, you tell me.

Do You Feel Like A Chain Store

Currently Listening To: All These Things That I've Done by the Killers, who pale in comparison to the Bravery...
...who I saw in concert last night, opening for Depeche Mode. When I saw the Stones in concert last month, my parents were like, "The Stones' show will be the best show you ever see, no matter what." Well whadda ya know, at the very next concert I saw, my second concert, it was 1000x times better. First of all, we paid a third as much for tickets yet were much closer to the stage. Second, a lot less old people. Third, almost no rednecks in sight(The same can't be said for Jarhead. Thanks for ruining it, you redneck assholes.). Fourth, BOOBS, that's right, BOOBS. And not like drunk chicks flashing their boobies at me for money, it was a huge shot of a nakers chick for the background during one of the songs Depeche Mode sang, of which I knew... two. Personal Jesus and Enjoy the Silence. I don't think I'll ever hear a better song in concert than Personal Jesus. It was just... FAWESOME. Totally fawesome. The Bravery kicked twelve kinds of ass by playing like everything but the two songs I don't like. AND I got a t-shirt, some stickas and some stolen 99x stuff, though I doubt they miss it.

Oh, I saw and eppy of Firefly on TV on Friday night. It was pretty much exactly like the movie as far as production values go, but the SFX were obviously much cheaper.

I went to a suprise party yesterday, and thanks to the brilliance of everyone who ever lived, I got there ONE HOUR EARLY. It's okay, I walked around a while and looked shady. Dropped some damn good pizza pizzaz on the ground.

For All You Trendy Folk

Currently Watching: Batman Begins
There's that facebook thing. Sign up if you are a nerd and need a website to make you feel like you have friends. By the way, you have to be INVITED, so it is like double trendy. It's like an exclusive club that doesn't allow friendless people. Sounds like fun, eh? EH?
CNN.com - Cruise liner fends off pirate attack - Nov 5, 2005
The pirates are back, the pirates are back!

I WANTED VIKINGS, DAMMIT.

Oh, and about that kid I was talking about yesterday, and how he thinks he's hotshit and all that good stuff? He proved me right today. Man, I hate that asshole.

If there's one thing I learned throughout my whole life...

Currently Listening To: You Could Have It So Much Better by those crazy Scottish guys
...If there was only one useful thing I learned in life, it is "Shut the fuck up". That's right, don't talk. When all else fails, shut up. Don't want to upset someone? Don't want to sound like a fucking moron? Don't want to get int trouble? Don't want anything to eat? Don't talk. It's that simple. If only more people knew that, namely the majority of the kids in my classes. If I were like a scribe or some shit like that and I were writing down everything said in all my classes, most sentences and questions said by kids would start off with "Derr..." so whoever was reading would know that the speaker is an absolute dumbass and not to pay any attention to whatever is being said. The two biggest sources of this are chorus(from certain freshmen who need to be sterilized) and English(my dad said to expect stupid people in non-honors classes, but without a doubt my stupidest class is Eng. honors. I want to hang myself just about everyday in there. Like today, we somehow got on the subject of the Zulu tribe in Africa and Mr. Murray asked if any of us had seen the movie "Zulu" and this one girl says "Zoolander? I LOVE that movie". How people like her got into honors is beyond me, because she doesn't do too spectacularly on the tests either). That was a long parenthesis. Damn.

Then there's this kid who thinks he's hot shit. He is, if by hot shit you mean dog crap on a summer day and not in the "cool guy" sense. I'm going to leave it at that, so that it won't come back to bite me in the ass... ever. It feels good to get that off my chest.

If they're only two things I learn in life, it's the aforemention and that if your wife ever asks you if you slaughtered a Jedi council room full of toddlers, don't say they deserved it. And I'll leave it at that.

ABC News: Banned at the schoolhouse door: pint-size ghosts and goblins

Fall-O-Ween... Comic gold!

By the way, did you know Georgia has a law against people above the age of 18 trickatreating? What utter bullshit. I'll keep doing it until the day I die. And I still plan on trick or treating this weekend.