Jada Pinkett says Tom and "Kate"'s baby is really fuckin' awesome

Which leads me to believe that maybe it was Tom Cruise's kid in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction.

The Basement

Just some pictures of the basement.

My Very Own Communism Post

Currently Listening To: No, Not Now by Hot Hot Heat(The song I quoted several posts back)
Every year at Kanuga, they have a little Carnival. It gets lamer and lamer every year, not necesarily because the carnival itself is different, but moreso because a cookie walk when you're 15 is not nearly as fun as when you're six, no matter how fat you is. Another activity I had labeled as lame but turned out to be a great source of entertainment is the face paint booth, hosted by Abby, who is supafly. The discussion of what would likely not be painted on your face if you asked came up. Someone suggested the Star of David, I suggested the Hammer and Sickle. We went and tried both. The Star of David was rejected, but the Hamma en Sickeh was go. Yes, I had the symbol for Communism "tattooed" in bright red on my face in the middle of North Carolina. That was the night we went to the movies. I went with the thing still on my face. Feel free to kiss my feet if you ever get the chance, I'm a bad ass.

I took a few pictures, but they were lost because SOMEBODY filled up the camera's memory card with motherfucking MYSPACE PICTURES. OUT OF FOCUS PICTURES AND APATHETIC POSES AREN'T COOL. THEY HAVE NO ARTISTIC MERIT WHATSOEVER. TAKE A NORMAL PICTURE YOU DUMBASS. I think there is a picture on one of the disposables with the painting, but still. Many thanks to Abby for taking a class about Russia so she actually knew what I was talking about and how to do it!

Did you know tag is banned at public schools? This makes me hate Commies even more. Sure, banning tag isn't one of the tennents of Communism, especially considering it's a political ideal and not a parenting technique, but I idolize McCarthy, so Communists are my scapegoat of choice.

My face paint caused a tad bit of controversy. I was saying the second paragraph when someone brought up the first. I didn't get it because I am a Communist, I did it for shock value! SHOCK FACTOR! Damn people. It doesn't take too much sense to realize that I am quite the little capitalist. I buy stuff all the time! NOT A COMMIE. I have no issue with peaceful communists, but I am not one.

The Readers Digest Version of the Readers Digest Version of Last Week

Currently Listening to: Feltham Is Singing Out by HardFI

• Saturday: Arrive at Kanuga. Don't even bother asking what that is. It's weird to explain. It has, however, been simplified by some, who say it's kind of like the place in Dirty Dancing. I have never seen that movie, so I don't know what to make of that comment. All I know is I haven't seen Swayze there.
• Sunday. My year-and-a-half boycott of Walmart comes to an end. Basically what happens every year is my grandmother forgets something and so she heads over to Wal-Mart, children in tow, and agrees to buy us something for under twenty dollars. Course, that was the deal when I was little. Now it's as much as you want up to twenty dollars, which I'm sure some little greedies had a hand in. Anyways, my twenty dollars went toawrd the Rock Kills Kid CD, which is a great CD. Later that day, I went to the Hendersonville mall. It is more dismal than the Rome mall. Yes. One of the anchor stores is a K-Mart. Anyways, there, I was ripped off by FYE. Those fuckers.
• Monday. I got hit by a car. I was walking down the double yellow so cars couldn't swerve to miss me and had to wait for me to go by them. Anyways, this lady who works for Kanuga doesn't stop, so I stick my arm out, which is then hit by her sideview mirror. She was pissed. This later turned into a several day fiasco.
• Tuesday. Don't remember at all.
• Wednesday. Guhhhh. Hmm. Well, the second confrontation with the bitch who hit me with her car. This time, she blamed my brother for... Well, I don't know. She thought it was him who came into contact with the car. I'm not sure what the crime was. But she was pissed. Later a caravan of teenage drivers was organized to go see a movie. I bet that little hick theater was confused as fuck. "Well, Monday we sold fifty tickets, forty on Tuesday and HOLYCRAP NINETY ON WEDNESDAY." HAH.
• Thursday. . When has anything happened on a Thursday? I think something happened on Thursday. Oh yes... The car saga continued. A kid who looks like he'll probably end up in the pen was blamed for the car thing. Again, unsure of the actual crime. I don't think even dictatorships make being a victim a crime.
• Thursday night/Friday morning. While listening to my boombox/sleeping, the boombox cried out to me. See, I had planned on buying a fancier home... Audio thing, with a five disc changer, a radio with a digital/non-dial tuner and a plug-in for mp3 players. So anyways, in this freaky dream, the boombox cried out to me and reminded me of how faithful it had been, and that it is completely functional. He was crying. How could I say no?
• Friday: We(Meaning the group present at the car incident and the movie thing) went to HOOKER Falls. Following that was a tragically short trip to the Jewish camp. Tragic.
• Friday night. Loud, violent storm which woke me up. In the process... the boombox fell to the ground from a table.

Why the hell does Haley Joel Osment drive a station wagon?

Dear loyal worshippers... I have returned with some bad, very bad, worse than bad news. Last week... I heard a country song... That I actually liked. I am so ashamed. I am also contemplating downloading the song. I mean, sure, if I change my mind about the song, just delete it and never listen to it again, but it would still be burned into my conscience... FOREVER. AND EVER. Oh my God... what have I done?

911: Government-Funded Dating Service

Currently Watching: Land of the Dead
It bothers me that in a world where Lebanon and Israel are bombing the fuck out of each other, North Korea is threatening to do the same and the biggest civil rights debate since the sixties is taking place, a woman is being sent to court for calling 911 without a good reason. A few things to point out here:

1. 911 is for emergencies. She's lonely, which could potentially be an emergency if she was like depressed or something.
2. Kids crank call 911 all the time, and I haven't seen ANY sort of action taken on a single nose-picker.
3. They say she was tying up the phone lines, but let's face the facts: There are no emergencies in Aloha, Oregon. Except for, say, tonight's regularly scheduled programming not being aired. Relax, bitches. You're the police force of bumblefuck, quit taking youself so seriously.

Riley Denbow is my hero. A year later and he and Pillsbury are still the biggest badasses not including Samuel L. Jackson.

New Summer Tradition

Currently Listening To: Who's Gonna Save Us by the Living End
Not unlike last summer, and in some ways very much like last summer, I have wasted many hours playing GOLDENEYE64 with all sorts of cheat modes. My favorite is the one where I have two RCP90, unlimited bullets and Russian soldiers who couldn't hit the broadside of a barn. The RCP90 can shoot 80 bullets before you have to reload, which lasts maybe fifteen seconds. It can also fire through some doors. Oh, what a gun. If only it were real.

Unlike last summer, and in some ways not at all like last summer, I haven't whipped out a bitchin' on here lately. I complained a lot last year. My personal favorite is the one about wimpy hurricane names. It's a shame that angered the gods and was responsible for killing more than a thousand and displacing millions. Ooops. Also the conspiracy theories, like the one where I said Pepsi is for Nazis, or hwere I said that Scions were made by a covert organization hoping to wipe out the Jews.

If I had an RCP90, I would shoot every phone in our house. Six people in a house means a lot of people for people to want to call. Namely [Hold on, the phone is ringing] my sisters' friends. For fuck's sake, they have cell phones, call them on THEIR phones, you fucking dumbass bitches! Whew. Now that THAT is out of my syst... Wait, FAT WHORES. Now it is out of my system. Anyways, sister friends calling, people of all shapes and sizes who feel the need to "Just check in" and "courtesy calls", which is the new name for telemarketing calls, combined with two children who are seemingly unable to answer the phone and a phone next to the couch have driven me to the brink of being whatever there is past insanity. I'd say I'm insane because of the numerous times when I have had a dream where I got up and went through my morning routine, and then really woke up and had thought that I had already done that, which is, by definition, insanity. I hate land line phones, and will certainly not own one when I am a homeowner. But I will own a letteropener. Hours of fun and many uses. Obviously they open letters, but the also open packages, and act as small daggers perfect for knife fighting on the old bridge. I'm sure they'd also do well at carving out the chip the secret government organization implanted into the back of your shoulder to control your mind.


Adios, turd nuggets.

It Is Official: Cheney Is Putin's Bitch

He just got Russian served.

Funny Story

So last night, Bob and I were bored, so we went out the basement door and snuck around the outside of the house to the window of where our sisters were, on their computer, as usual. So I crawled through the bushes over to the window and banged on it. They screamed so loud. Pretty much I wouldn't have done it if not for the fact that every time I open a door and my sister is there she gasps really loud and says "Oh Lawdy, Ryne you scurred me!" I'm just like, "HEY, other people live in this house. Other people also aren't relegated to their qaurters whilst you roam free about the property, okay?" GAH. She scares really easily.

DON'T GO SEE PIRATES OF THE CARI... CARRI...

The Johnny Depp one. Wait until it's on video, and watch it right before you go see the third one. The ending is pretty much the same ending as Matrix Reloaded. The movie was great up until the ending, and then I wanted to cut my wrists becuase it was os frustrating.

DAMN, BITCHES.

Some of us wouldn't be lyin'

If we said we were trying

Too hard, but it all works out in the end

One-Third of My Family Went Missing Today

Currently Listening To: Get Me Outta Here by JET
This morning folks was looking for me. I heard my name shouted several times while I was still in bed but not sleeping. I didn't feel like human contact so I pretended to be asleep. My sister comes downstairs and walks around a bit, shouting my name but doesn't come in to the room where MY BED is, despite the fact that the door, which was open, is right next to the landing of the stairs. She goes back upstairs and tells everyone I must have left. Evidently she isn't aware that I'm somewhat of a do-nothing. My brother was then called and told to bring me home with him. DURRRRRRR.

So then later on, my mom comes down into the Temple. Bob and I were watching a movie, and she sat down on the couch and watched with us. Later on, she suggested we go out and get Cokes. I said that we should go out the back door so as to not pick up any stragglers on the way to the car. Stragglers meaning the younger third of our family. So as we are turning into the cul-de-sac on our way home, like five minutes later, Bob gets a phone call. My youngest sister is bawling. She thought my mom had like disappeared or something. Just vanished. DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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The Fast and the Furious Three: The Best Third Fast and the Furious I Saw Tonight

Currently Listening To: For Tomorrow by Blur(Well.... I'm not really listening to it. But it's a schwey song. She's a twentieth century girl, holding on for to-mo-rrow)
In all seriousness, I liked it, despite not know what the fuck drifting is nor having seen the first two. I liked all the car crashes because, well, I'm a twentieth century boy (Duh-duh-duh), holding on for to-mo-rrow.

Fondue. HA. Fond-you!

I keep saying Final Destination 3 whenever I wanna say Fast and Furious 3. I guess they're pretty much the same, you know? So much in common. They both came out this year, they both are number three, and people die in both of them. Oh, and the Fs. F f f f f f, I love F.

Psst, Blur, I love you! Even though you didn't accept me as your friend on myspace.

Fondue?

Currently Watching: Bride of Chucking, one of the weirdest movies... ever?
Last night we went out for fondue. Crazy. Craziness. You know. I had thought that a fondue meal was basically a huge appetizer, which now that I think about it didn't make much sense. Who the fuck eats a bowl of liquid cheese for dinner? Any ways, turns out that the cheese bowl WAS the appetizer. The meal consists of putting raw yet somehow prepared meat on a stick and cooking it campfire/smore-style in a pot of some sort of sauce for a few minutes. Despite being really snooty sounding, it was pretty cool. You could also do a dessert with chocolate, but that probably would have caused a chain reaction of pukings previously unknown to man, seeing as there were six of us.

Then we went out for put-put, which was... Put-put. But I hadn't done it in a while so it was cool. Unfortunately the put-put place near our house has no windmills.