Ryan's Snobby School Review of the Utmost Snobbery, Because Only Snobs Write Reviews. Come To Think of It, This Title Is So Long It Probably Warrants

Its Own Review, Likely Written by a Snob, Even More Likely To be Critiqued Itself By Other Snobs
Currently Listening To: I Enjoy Being A Boy by They Might Be Giants
SCHOOL makes me sad. The physics, the pre-cal, the Engrish, the other languages I always am able to display my lack of grip over… Oh, good times. GOOD TIMES. So far I’ve been doing okay, though more on the side of “fine”.

Surprisingly enough I had a great time at the football game on Friday, even though those bastards didn’t keep score. I have found that the keepation of score is the only way I can follow sports, and so with a scrimmage like this weekend, I’m lost. But I was loud and obnoxious, so people got annoyed with me, thus making my weekend complete. I get the feeling that weekends this year will be VERY good. Considering how much shit I have to wade through each week at school, I will have for serious earned the weekends, so I hope to do cool stuff to maximize the greatness and cancel out the shitty.

My teachers are decent. Sweeney is still the same; exceedingly Irish. My Spanish teacher is pretty much crazy, but I like her. She isn’t as teacher-y-ish as others. I feel more on the same level as her. My pre-cal teacher is… quite the character. Not sure what else to say. English… Well, Saunders is Saunders and if you got to Dar then you know what that means…





…pretty much whatever you want it to. If you like him, he’s great; if you don’t, he’s not. Whichever suits you better. And lastly, whomever the remaining teacher is clearly not so awful that the level of bad sticks out in my mind, so whatever that class is is decent.

Gah. Lucky Louie is like the best show besides the Colbert Report. And I have developed a huge man crush on Colossus. That’s right; I love a comic book character. He’s pretty much a bad ass. Anyone who can turn his skin to metal is the shizz in my book. Colossus and Stephen Colbert. Colbert is megamerican and that’s all I can say without besmirching his awesome.

Jokes Other People Don't Get

I was sitting here, innocently watching TV, when a commercial for Talladega Nights came on, which brought back memories of a time when I brought much shame onto our household. It was the part in the commercial where he says "It's like the best movie... EVER." to the French guy. He is of course refering to Highlander. I have not seen that movie. But I am familiar with it. After all, I have seen it re-enacted in 30 seconds by bunnies. So I guess I have seen it. Anyways, Ricky Bobby is talking about how great the movie is, which is funny, so I'm laughing absolutely hysterically, but I look around the theater and realize... I'm the only one laughing. In the entire theater. The packed, stadium-seating (So it's the biggest in the building) Friday night theater. Out of four hundred people, only one knew what they were talking about. I hung my head in shame and shut up.

A Very Shitty Post

I think it’s kind of funny how despite the fact that there is a Middle East cease fire starting tomorrow, the violence has actually escalated. It’s like they ordered all those bombs, and don’t want to let all those potentially left-over bombs to go to waste, so they’re having a grand finale. I suppose if this thing is actually over, there won’t be much by way of big news story for AP to cover, so if (A very big if) that were to happen, we’ll get to read about the “no liquids on planes” rule for months.

You know it’s the truth. The thing happened on Thursday, but I keep reading the same shit over and over again on the front page of the paper. You’d think there would be more significant developments than Pennsylvania auctioning off the shit they confiscate on eBay. Great, great, tell me something that actually matters to those of us who don’t want a collector’s nail file.

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so lazy. Not often, just when something shitty comes on TV, like Blue Collar TV, which comes on after The Simpsons sometimes, or that Pepsi-Jazz commercial. Pepsi, you deviant Nazis, quit trying to act young and hip and shit. You guys SUCK. I hate you. I also hate the THX logo before movies, like Star Wars. Those things are like ten minutes long. Great, you helped the movie be as loud as it is. I don’t care! I just wanted to watch the movie. That’s why I turned it on. I wanted to see it. No the extended THX logo. Forget that shit.

Would You Like To See a Good Movie?

Would you like to see a really good movie? A really good horror movie?

It's called Ginger Snaps. It, along with Scream and A Nightmare on Elm Street, are easily my favorite teen horror movies EVER. Though I suppose I'll take anything these days. Really any R-rated horror movie with any redeeming qualities will make me happy. I'm not big on this watered down, PG-13 horror bullshit. This movie is absolutely DIGUSTING. All kinds of gore, which is to be expected. It's a werewolf movie. An awesome werewolf movie. Basically these two goth sisters start to drift apart after one gets mauled by a werewolf, so the other gets help from a drug dealer. I watched it at midnight on IFC last night. Pretty much here's how it went. 12: The movie starts. 2: The movie ends and I decide to go to bed. Some time after that: I'm not asleep. It was pretty intense.

It's got the chick who bites it first in Freddy Versus Jason and tthe goth guy from Final Destination 3. It's funny because in this movie SHE is the goth and HE is the druggie.

Ryan's Rendition of Ranier Maria's "Breakfast of Champions"

Fire In The Disco! Fire In The Taco Bell!

Currently Listening To: Music Is My Radar by Blur
So this terror plot they thwarted(A great word, by-the-way) in London. That's some serious spit. The news keeps saying the explosives somehow involved liquids like the British version of Gatorade, meaning that it's the same Gatorade we drink here, but served warm. Yummy!
[Which reminds me of "yummers!" from the Jomba Juice sketch from Nat Portman's SNL episode I watched again last week. I didn't realize Jomba Juice was a real place until the NY trip which was, oddly enough, at the beginning of this summer. It feels like it was years ago.]
Anyways, Gatorade as an explosive? Scary. I'd say Coke/Powerade should take this opportunity to enact the most effective marketing campaign they've ever had. Basically the ads will all be really minimalist, with a black back ground, and in small white text it says: "Powerade. No one's ever tried to take down an airliner with it." It would be viewed as extremely insensitive and there will be a huge controversy, but people will buy more Powerade. No one wants to drink the same stuff as terrorists. I mean, that's why I don't have a beard or a turban; terrorism! People don't want to be associated with evil.

Today was the least lazy day in a long time for me. I got a call around noon, after watching the news all morning(The most I've watched since the London bombings lazy summer). My sister and her friend want to visit their(And my) old elementary school, which was having its orientation today. But that required going up to the country club(Which I get to by walking) and riding the dreaded yellow school bus over there. That's seriously the most active I've been this week. Walked a third of a mile up there and a third of a mile back. With lunch, of course. What's a trip to the club without lunch?

Well, I suppose it's just a two-thirds-mile trek with no lunch to show for it, though that was kind of a rhetorical question.

Wow, my first lengthy post without use of the word fuck!

Simpsons Re-Enacted By Brits

Currently Watching: Ster Werz A New Hope
I'm pretty sure it's like a bump on some Brit TV network. Either way pretty effing cool.

CrossPost from Myspace.

Currently Listening To: Empire by Kasabian
I had a krerzy dream last night, in detail here:
This one was almost as weird as the bug one, where someone from my youth group was devoured by a very large bug while everyone (including myself) just sat there. So anyways, last night, I'm a-sleepin' and the first dream comes on. Our church youth group, a common subject in my dreams, is on another trip. I have no idea where we were, but it was in the woods. Maybe we were up at the Noog. Who knows? Anyways, so we do all kinds of outdoorsy things, and then we decide to watch a movie, and someone puts on V for Vendetta. The disc is scratched, so then I say I have a copy of the movie, but it turns out that was mine. Whatever. Wow, iTunes just opened up. Like ten years after I clicked on it. Bitches.

So anyways, we're leaving... In a Darbus... When another car turns down the drive way to wherever we're staying. I look in the car and see it's a friend from school, so I'm like, "Hey!" out an open window, which was weird because the window was on the front side of the bus and we all know windshields don't roll down unless you have a really crappy car. So I get out and talk to her, which disappointed me when I realized this was a dream because it's likely that I won't ever see her again. So anyways, it turns out she was leaving because she got kicked out, and so her mom was pissed that the Darbus was there on what was apparently her property. Oops! The bus leaves and now I'm hangin out with her and some other school friends, and then my mom shows up with all my stuff, seeing as the place is now college and we're all moving in. The place has gone from being a bunch of cabins in the woods to a college on a river in a big city. Some other weird stuff I'm kind of vague about goes on.

Things really started to get weird in the next dream, or maybe it was just a second half to this dream, I really don't know. So anyways, I'm at an old style theater seeing the remake of Shaun of the Dead, starring all the stars of the original Shaun of the Dead, but it turns out it's a remake of Resident Evil, with all the stars of Resident Evil. Hmm. So I leave and I'm at... Some place and I see my friend Abby and we're talking aboutthe movie which she is excited about. I leave and we go to the grocery store. When I say 'we' I mean, myself and like 30 kids who show up from out of nowhere. We get all the groceries and we walk home, but there's this big intersection(Which is a real intersection) and speeding cars, which are reality-otious as well. So everyone has to run across one at a time without getting hit.

We finally get to the street where my house really is, and there's a street race going on, with all these people driving old Volvo trucks that definitely look the part of European. So I'm driving one... Poorly... And I end up ramming into a line of them parked along side the river from War of the Worlds. I finish the race and all of a sudden I'm some well-known(In the dream world) superhero whose power is that he can jump really high. So I'm jumping up onto the SuperTarget which has replaced the river and jumping off again when all of a sudden I can't jump anymore. So I start climbing the building, which is really weird, becuase I'm all, "Hey, I'm not Spider Man" So I swing a web and land on top of the Target, where Aunt May's apartment is. She has a new boyfriend who doesn't like me.

And then I woke up because Clint was calling me.

The Dark Cloud of School Looms Over My Summer.

That was the angstiest title I could concieve at this point in time. Seriously, though, school. Boo. It started week before last in the northern pockets of Georgia, this past week in some metro Atlanta counties, this week in Mayretta city schools, next week in Cobb and then the twenty-first, we start. As in, this week when I saw V for Vendetta at the Fox Theater(!) there were kids mere miles away doing their first homework of the year. That is fucked up. And so now all my dreams are about school. But not in a good sense. Not a, "Wow, this is the greatest thing to ever happen to me!" dream, but then again, not a, "Wow, I'm being chased by... Something that people generally are upset when they're chased by it" dream. I don't have those. I suppose it would be cool, you know, just once, so I know I have a soul, but alas, my dreams are dashed once more. Anyways, they're dreams where when you have them, you're like, "You know, I think I would have rather had a good dream than that dream." Unsettling dreams. And theres always people in my dreams where I recognize them but deep down am well aware that they aren't real so I in fact don't know them. Like, there was a guy in my dream last night, and it was an animated inanimate object with the voice of someone I know, but the dream version of me didn't think it was weird at all. Hmm.

So anyways, fuck school. Did I spell that right? It looks weird. School. I guess it is right. Hmmm.

Master of the Universe
I just watched the SNL with Nat Portman(!) and Fall Out Boy(If there were a punctuation mark that denoted anger or mediocrity, I'd use it heyah), and I must say it is one of my favorite episodes. JAMBA JUICE. FOB sounds really weird/different sans voice enhancements. AND the fatass lead singer threw his geetar at the drummer, which I daresay was a tad rude.

Clerks 2 was phenom. I urge you to see it, but without anyone you would be uncomfortable seeing a movie with offscreen beastiality in it. I will leave it... At that.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Jada Pinkett says Tom and "Kate"'s baby is really fuckin' awesome

Which leads me to believe that maybe it was Tom Cruise's kid in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction.

The Basement

Just some pictures of the basement.

My Very Own Communism Post

Currently Listening To: No, Not Now by Hot Hot Heat(The song I quoted several posts back)
Every year at Kanuga, they have a little Carnival. It gets lamer and lamer every year, not necesarily because the carnival itself is different, but moreso because a cookie walk when you're 15 is not nearly as fun as when you're six, no matter how fat you is. Another activity I had labeled as lame but turned out to be a great source of entertainment is the face paint booth, hosted by Abby, who is supafly. The discussion of what would likely not be painted on your face if you asked came up. Someone suggested the Star of David, I suggested the Hammer and Sickle. We went and tried both. The Star of David was rejected, but the Hamma en Sickeh was go. Yes, I had the symbol for Communism "tattooed" in bright red on my face in the middle of North Carolina. That was the night we went to the movies. I went with the thing still on my face. Feel free to kiss my feet if you ever get the chance, I'm a bad ass.

I took a few pictures, but they were lost because SOMEBODY filled up the camera's memory card with motherfucking MYSPACE PICTURES. OUT OF FOCUS PICTURES AND APATHETIC POSES AREN'T COOL. THEY HAVE NO ARTISTIC MERIT WHATSOEVER. TAKE A NORMAL PICTURE YOU DUMBASS. I think there is a picture on one of the disposables with the painting, but still. Many thanks to Abby for taking a class about Russia so she actually knew what I was talking about and how to do it!

Did you know tag is banned at public schools? This makes me hate Commies even more. Sure, banning tag isn't one of the tennents of Communism, especially considering it's a political ideal and not a parenting technique, but I idolize McCarthy, so Communists are my scapegoat of choice.

My face paint caused a tad bit of controversy. I was saying the second paragraph when someone brought up the first. I didn't get it because I am a Communist, I did it for shock value! SHOCK FACTOR! Damn people. It doesn't take too much sense to realize that I am quite the little capitalist. I buy stuff all the time! NOT A COMMIE. I have no issue with peaceful communists, but I am not one.

The Readers Digest Version of the Readers Digest Version of Last Week

Currently Listening to: Feltham Is Singing Out by HardFI

• Saturday: Arrive at Kanuga. Don't even bother asking what that is. It's weird to explain. It has, however, been simplified by some, who say it's kind of like the place in Dirty Dancing. I have never seen that movie, so I don't know what to make of that comment. All I know is I haven't seen Swayze there.
• Sunday. My year-and-a-half boycott of Walmart comes to an end. Basically what happens every year is my grandmother forgets something and so she heads over to Wal-Mart, children in tow, and agrees to buy us something for under twenty dollars. Course, that was the deal when I was little. Now it's as much as you want up to twenty dollars, which I'm sure some little greedies had a hand in. Anyways, my twenty dollars went toawrd the Rock Kills Kid CD, which is a great CD. Later that day, I went to the Hendersonville mall. It is more dismal than the Rome mall. Yes. One of the anchor stores is a K-Mart. Anyways, there, I was ripped off by FYE. Those fuckers.
• Monday. I got hit by a car. I was walking down the double yellow so cars couldn't swerve to miss me and had to wait for me to go by them. Anyways, this lady who works for Kanuga doesn't stop, so I stick my arm out, which is then hit by her sideview mirror. She was pissed. This later turned into a several day fiasco.
• Tuesday. Don't remember at all.
• Wednesday. Guhhhh. Hmm. Well, the second confrontation with the bitch who hit me with her car. This time, she blamed my brother for... Well, I don't know. She thought it was him who came into contact with the car. I'm not sure what the crime was. But she was pissed. Later a caravan of teenage drivers was organized to go see a movie. I bet that little hick theater was confused as fuck. "Well, Monday we sold fifty tickets, forty on Tuesday and HOLYCRAP NINETY ON WEDNESDAY." HAH.
• Thursday. . When has anything happened on a Thursday? I think something happened on Thursday. Oh yes... The car saga continued. A kid who looks like he'll probably end up in the pen was blamed for the car thing. Again, unsure of the actual crime. I don't think even dictatorships make being a victim a crime.
• Thursday night/Friday morning. While listening to my boombox/sleeping, the boombox cried out to me. See, I had planned on buying a fancier home... Audio thing, with a five disc changer, a radio with a digital/non-dial tuner and a plug-in for mp3 players. So anyways, in this freaky dream, the boombox cried out to me and reminded me of how faithful it had been, and that it is completely functional. He was crying. How could I say no?
• Friday: We(Meaning the group present at the car incident and the movie thing) went to HOOKER Falls. Following that was a tragically short trip to the Jewish camp. Tragic.
• Friday night. Loud, violent storm which woke me up. In the process... the boombox fell to the ground from a table.

Why the hell does Haley Joel Osment drive a station wagon?

Dear loyal worshippers... I have returned with some bad, very bad, worse than bad news. Last week... I heard a country song... That I actually liked. I am so ashamed. I am also contemplating downloading the song. I mean, sure, if I change my mind about the song, just delete it and never listen to it again, but it would still be burned into my conscience... FOREVER. AND EVER. Oh my God... what have I done?

911: Government-Funded Dating Service

Currently Watching: Land of the Dead
It bothers me that in a world where Lebanon and Israel are bombing the fuck out of each other, North Korea is threatening to do the same and the biggest civil rights debate since the sixties is taking place, a woman is being sent to court for calling 911 without a good reason. A few things to point out here:

1. 911 is for emergencies. She's lonely, which could potentially be an emergency if she was like depressed or something.
2. Kids crank call 911 all the time, and I haven't seen ANY sort of action taken on a single nose-picker.
3. They say she was tying up the phone lines, but let's face the facts: There are no emergencies in Aloha, Oregon. Except for, say, tonight's regularly scheduled programming not being aired. Relax, bitches. You're the police force of bumblefuck, quit taking youself so seriously.

Riley Denbow is my hero. A year later and he and Pillsbury are still the biggest badasses not including Samuel L. Jackson.

New Summer Tradition

Currently Listening To: Who's Gonna Save Us by the Living End
Not unlike last summer, and in some ways very much like last summer, I have wasted many hours playing GOLDENEYE64 with all sorts of cheat modes. My favorite is the one where I have two RCP90, unlimited bullets and Russian soldiers who couldn't hit the broadside of a barn. The RCP90 can shoot 80 bullets before you have to reload, which lasts maybe fifteen seconds. It can also fire through some doors. Oh, what a gun. If only it were real.

Unlike last summer, and in some ways not at all like last summer, I haven't whipped out a bitchin' on here lately. I complained a lot last year. My personal favorite is the one about wimpy hurricane names. It's a shame that angered the gods and was responsible for killing more than a thousand and displacing millions. Ooops. Also the conspiracy theories, like the one where I said Pepsi is for Nazis, or hwere I said that Scions were made by a covert organization hoping to wipe out the Jews.

If I had an RCP90, I would shoot every phone in our house. Six people in a house means a lot of people for people to want to call. Namely [Hold on, the phone is ringing] my sisters' friends. For fuck's sake, they have cell phones, call them on THEIR phones, you fucking dumbass bitches! Whew. Now that THAT is out of my syst... Wait, FAT WHORES. Now it is out of my system. Anyways, sister friends calling, people of all shapes and sizes who feel the need to "Just check in" and "courtesy calls", which is the new name for telemarketing calls, combined with two children who are seemingly unable to answer the phone and a phone next to the couch have driven me to the brink of being whatever there is past insanity. I'd say I'm insane because of the numerous times when I have had a dream where I got up and went through my morning routine, and then really woke up and had thought that I had already done that, which is, by definition, insanity. I hate land line phones, and will certainly not own one when I am a homeowner. But I will own a letteropener. Hours of fun and many uses. Obviously they open letters, but the also open packages, and act as small daggers perfect for knife fighting on the old bridge. I'm sure they'd also do well at carving out the chip the secret government organization implanted into the back of your shoulder to control your mind.


Adios, turd nuggets.

It Is Official: Cheney Is Putin's Bitch

He just got Russian served.

Funny Story

So last night, Bob and I were bored, so we went out the basement door and snuck around the outside of the house to the window of where our sisters were, on their computer, as usual. So I crawled through the bushes over to the window and banged on it. They screamed so loud. Pretty much I wouldn't have done it if not for the fact that every time I open a door and my sister is there she gasps really loud and says "Oh Lawdy, Ryne you scurred me!" I'm just like, "HEY, other people live in this house. Other people also aren't relegated to their qaurters whilst you roam free about the property, okay?" GAH. She scares really easily.

DON'T GO SEE PIRATES OF THE CARI... CARRI...

The Johnny Depp one. Wait until it's on video, and watch it right before you go see the third one. The ending is pretty much the same ending as Matrix Reloaded. The movie was great up until the ending, and then I wanted to cut my wrists becuase it was os frustrating.

DAMN, BITCHES.

Some of us wouldn't be lyin'

If we said we were trying

Too hard, but it all works out in the end

One-Third of My Family Went Missing Today

Currently Listening To: Get Me Outta Here by JET
This morning folks was looking for me. I heard my name shouted several times while I was still in bed but not sleeping. I didn't feel like human contact so I pretended to be asleep. My sister comes downstairs and walks around a bit, shouting my name but doesn't come in to the room where MY BED is, despite the fact that the door, which was open, is right next to the landing of the stairs. She goes back upstairs and tells everyone I must have left. Evidently she isn't aware that I'm somewhat of a do-nothing. My brother was then called and told to bring me home with him. DURRRRRRR.

So then later on, my mom comes down into the Temple. Bob and I were watching a movie, and she sat down on the couch and watched with us. Later on, she suggested we go out and get Cokes. I said that we should go out the back door so as to not pick up any stragglers on the way to the car. Stragglers meaning the younger third of our family. So as we are turning into the cul-de-sac on our way home, like five minutes later, Bob gets a phone call. My youngest sister is bawling. She thought my mom had like disappeared or something. Just vanished. DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUR

The Fast and the Furious Three: The Best Third Fast and the Furious I Saw Tonight

Currently Listening To: For Tomorrow by Blur(Well.... I'm not really listening to it. But it's a schwey song. She's a twentieth century girl, holding on for to-mo-rrow)
In all seriousness, I liked it, despite not know what the fuck drifting is nor having seen the first two. I liked all the car crashes because, well, I'm a twentieth century boy (Duh-duh-duh), holding on for to-mo-rrow.

Fondue. HA. Fond-you!

I keep saying Final Destination 3 whenever I wanna say Fast and Furious 3. I guess they're pretty much the same, you know? So much in common. They both came out this year, they both are number three, and people die in both of them. Oh, and the Fs. F f f f f f, I love F.

Psst, Blur, I love you! Even though you didn't accept me as your friend on myspace.

Fondue?

Currently Watching: Bride of Chucking, one of the weirdest movies... ever?
Last night we went out for fondue. Crazy. Craziness. You know. I had thought that a fondue meal was basically a huge appetizer, which now that I think about it didn't make much sense. Who the fuck eats a bowl of liquid cheese for dinner? Any ways, turns out that the cheese bowl WAS the appetizer. The meal consists of putting raw yet somehow prepared meat on a stick and cooking it campfire/smore-style in a pot of some sort of sauce for a few minutes. Despite being really snooty sounding, it was pretty cool. You could also do a dessert with chocolate, but that probably would have caused a chain reaction of pukings previously unknown to man, seeing as there were six of us.

Then we went out for put-put, which was... Put-put. But I hadn't done it in a while so it was cool. Unfortunately the put-put place near our house has no windmills.

Movies I Plan On Going To See This Year Redux

Currently Watching: The Colbert Report(Pronounced 'repore')

1. Supaman Returns, just because I know it will either be God's gift to man or a boiling jar of horse piss. Sorry Bryan Singer.
2. Strangers with Candy, just so I can see it with Dane to prove him WRONG
3. Pirates of the Caribbean. Two. Nothing much to say here, the first was good, high hopes, yada yada, I shut up now.
4. You, Me and Dupree. Because I was so let down by Wedding Crashers(Unlike everyone else who saw it), maybe Owen can redeem himself in my eyes, because I know it means a lot to him.
5. My Super Ex-Girlfriend, because the idea of superheroes being a staple plot point in American cinema turns me on.
6. Los Clerks Dos. View Askew likely is God's gift to mankind. New release date, eh? JULY. TWENTIETH.
7. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. At first I thought it would absolute garbage, but upon further inspection, maybe the new Anchorman?
8. Accepted. Justin Long starts his own college because he can't get into a real one, which I have thought of doing before.
9. Snake on Prane. Sammy J is my homeboy. Those muthafuckin' snakes is on the plane dis muthafuckin' August.
10. Idiocracy. It's another Luke Wilson movie, where he wakes up in a society of morons. (Insert lame, snobby/pesimistic joke right about he-ah) .
11. Crank. But only because my other hero is in it.
12. Jackass 2. But only because I've been wearing the jacket for it for a while.
13. Employee of the Month. Because I like Dane Cook and Dax Sheppard.
14. Sunshine. It just sounds really interesting.
15. Stranger than Fiction
16. Casino Royale, of course
17. SKINWALKERS. Me gustan mucho los werewolves
18. Van Wilder 2, Rise of the Taj
19. BLACK CHRISTMAS. Because I actually liked the When a Stranger Calls remake.

There ya go.