Is It Too Much To Ask?

Here's a novel idea: when you make a product, make it WORK. This revolutionary concept applies to satellite recievers, MP3 players, computer printers and more.

Watch Nikki Have A Conversation With Herself

This was not edited AT ALL:


LaughALot155: so whats poppin?
SpatulaCity89: Rocks
LaughALot155: i love those

Auto response from SpatulaCity89: Huh-huh-huh-homework!

I fvcking hate school.


LaughALot155: o so u dont wanna talk to me
LaughALot155: i think i will cry
LaughALot155: but i am not goin to
LaughALot155: b/c u arent worth crying over
LaughALot155: lol jk
LaughALot155: wow i am hyper
LaughALot155: o well ttyl
LaughALot155: bye
LaughALot155: see that is how u r supposed to say bye

Auto response from SpatulaCity89: That hurts, Nikki


LaughALot155: not just go away
LaughALot155: o i sorry
LaughALot155: i didnt realize u were reading this now
LaughALot155: but i still wouldve said the same thing to u

Auto response from SpatulaCity89: I'm not


LaughALot155: o well
LaughALot155: really?
LaughALot155: o well
LaughALot155: i am gonna keep talking to u

Auto response from SpatulaCity89: Nope. This is a robot

LaughALot155: dont u wish i would shut up
LaughALot155: i think that would b better
LaughALot155: but toooooooo bad

Auto response from SpatulaCity89: yes

LaughALot155: b/c im not gonna
LaughALot155: i am really really really hyper
LaughALot155: and i wanna talk to u

Auto response from SpatulaCity89: please shut up

LaughALot155: even if u r a robot
LaughALot155: the only way u can get me to shut up is if u block me

Auto response from SpatulaCity89: kill me now


LaughALot155: and if u block me that wouldnt b nice
LaughALot155: and i wouldnt talk to u anymore
LaughALot155: and then history would suck
and so would english
and so would waiting for the bus after school
LaughALot155: and life would just suck for u
LaughALot155: b/c u have to have my beautiful voice in it
LaughALot155: or life just isnt fun
LaughALot155: lol jk
LaughALot155: so r u really doin homework
LaughALot155: or are u just readin what im typing

Auto response from SpatulaCity89: You make life without you sound terrible

LaughALot155: it would be terrilble

Auto response from SpatulaCity89: "Oooh, my clown wig! The possibilities...."

LaughALot155: wtf?
LaughALot155: that is a little wierd
LaughALot155: i liked the away message b4 that one better
LaughALot155: it was funnier
LaughALot155: at little less random
LaughALot155: but definately funnier

Auto response from SpatulaCity89: It's a quote from Degrassi. I have a clown wig

LaughALot155: o and i watch Degrassi sooooooooo much
LaughALot155: let me tell u
LaughALot155: it is my favorite show
LaughALot155: actually no
LaughALot155: it isnt
LaughALot155: i like american idol
LaughALot155: b/c the people cant sing and its funny to watch them try
LaughALot155: like the phsycic chick last week
LaughALot155: she was funny
LaughALot155: she thought she was gonna be in the top ten
LaughALot155: but no she was just the tenth to try out

Auto response from SpatulaCity89: because you are OH-SO great at singing


LaughALot155: isnt that funny
LaughALot155: no i am not great at singing
LaughALot155: i just think its funny watching people who cant sing try to sing

Auto response from SpatulaCity89: you wish

LaughALot155: i never said i could sing
LaughALot155: mabey i should go on that show and make a foul of myself
LaughALot155: wouldnt u like that

Auto response from SpatulaCity89: Every time you open your mouth, I hate you just that much more.

LaughALot155: really?
LaughALot155: b/c i love u
LaughALot155: o well
LaughALot155: luckily i am not opening my mouth
LaughALot155: right now
LaughALot155: i am just typing to u
LaughALot155: he he he
LaughALot155: r u annoyed yet?
LaughALot155: b/c i could always count to 100
LaughALot155: 1
LaughALot155: 2
LaughALot155: 3
LaughALot155: 4
LaughALot155: 5
LaughALot155: 6
7
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9
10

LaughALot155: 11
12
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18
LaughALot155: 19
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30
LaughALot155: o well that got boring so i will stop
LaughALot155: so any waysssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
LaughALot155: look i am like a snake
LaughALot155: sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
LaughALot155: wow i am hyper
LaughALot155: its not even funny
LaughALot155: dum dum da de da de dum dum da de
LaughALot155: wow i still like the
Auto response from SpatulaCity89 (9:37:25 PM): You make life without you sound terrible
LaughALot155: away message better
LaughALot155: it held more class
LaughALot155: o well i am not talking to u ever again
LaughALot155: goodbye



I can't believe you read all that. Damn.

When The Title Says 39 Minutes Of Bliss...

It isn't kidding.

Buster Baxter Loves Lesbians

And lesbians belong on children's television.
Where else would you have them?

You Can Never Get Enough...

AL.

Dish Network Sucks

When you get a satelite dish, it's reasonable to expect it to work, right?



Good, because my satelite reciever hasn't worked for 2-3 days, and this isn't a new problem. Is it too much to ask to be able to rot my brain?

Kirstie Alley Just Called Me Chubby

Bitch.

A Depressed Angry Brother, Bitchin' Cold Weather And An Eight Page Paper Due Tomorrow Almost Ruined My Weekend.

But then I recieved a package in the mail. What was in that package, you ask? Well, dumbass, you might try looking at the picture. Yes, I got You Got Served on DVD. Why did he buy this cinematic classic, you ask? Well, dumbass...

Clive Dangerously Joined Columbia Movie House!

And I got these WONDERFUL movies for only 49 cents each.
What a deal!
Now I only have to buy 5 more movies over the next two years for twenty bucks each.
Again, what a deal!

"Shut up Tina, we all know I'm training to become a cagefighter."

This week, Clive Dangerously hates... people who don't know who Heather Langenkamp is.

No, but seriously, This week, Clive Dangerously hates... people who misquote Napoleon Dynamite. If you misquote UHF, fine, whatever, doesn't bother me all too much. Misquote Soul Plane and no one can tell the difference. But when you misquote Napoleon Dynamite, there's the problem. It's bad enough that people are constantly repeating select lines from the movie, but some of the dumbasses at my school manage to completely butcher pieces of dialogue by combining scenes. Not too long ago, I saw a little kid on AIM's profile. Would you like to know what one of the quotes was?

Too bad. It was " Tina u fat lard come eat ham!"

That was completely, utterly, absolutely unaltered in any form or fashion. It's like when South Park first came out, and all the kids in my grade would try and sound cool by showing their "vast" "knowledge" of the show. But instead, the combined the characteristics of all the kids so one would think it was a show about a fat, poor Jewish kid who dies every episode and has an abusive sister. (PLEASE NOTE: I did watch it when I was 7, but only because my brother made me. my theory is that if we were ever caught, he would some how shift part of the blame off of him so his punishment would be less severe.) But anyways, back to my unsupported rant: Do us all a favor and quit quoting that damned movie. Find another movie to ruin.

I bet you're expecting a post

Well I'll have you know that I have better things to do with my time (and the life I possess). Due to this, I will not be posting today.


Wait.


DAMNIT!


EDIT: And I was quite disappointed in the number of people who had not heard of the almighty Heather Langenkamp. I mean FUCK, kids.

Heather Langenkamp's Autograph

I got Heather Langenkamp's autograph. Don't mind the bit about "Jamie Landers", that's just her cover. And don't mind the bit about "Ryan Gaffney", that's not my name. Especially if your name is the Internet Pedophile.

Sorry, Annie

"He's a Republican!" is not a good reason for liking Bush.


"They kick ass!" is not a good reason for liking Republicans.



Sorry.

OPEN LETTER TO THE BAND GEEKS

Dear band geeks of Darlington College Preporatory Academy:
FUCK YOU.
Signed,
Me


Your musical skills are equal to my singing skills. Ouch, that was mean of me. Of course, my singing voice will eventally get better. You kids, however, will not.

New Page Header

Since you crack heads, bitches and chicken humpers claim I don't bitch and moan about stuff anymore, I decided to change my blog title back to the original. How that addresses your complaints still escapes me.



Seeing as I'm kind of on the fence with you guys, the following complaint will be formulated by YOU. That's right, I'm on strike. Here's the premise. My bitch of a sister + my school +testing for entrance to my school. In case you morons are too inept to put that together, my sister will be visiting my school tomorrow and will most definitely be showing off too EVERYONE. To make matters worse, she is applying to my school, which means there is a high possibility(two siblings already enrolled+relatively high test score+parents who will not need scholarships=admittance) of her getting in, which means even more embarrassment. FUCK.

Jump The Shark Moments

Okay, that last post was definitely my 'Jump the Shark' moment. But what I want you to decide is if that really was my first shark-jump. If not, when did I jump the shark?



This would, of course, require you bastards to comment. As in, comment. Now.

What Disneyworld attraction am I?

The Parking Lot Tram: The uncredited workhorse of
the Disneyland resort. You take visitors from
the largest parking lot on earth to the front
door of Disneyland and back again. You aren't
the picture of glamour and most wouldn't even
think you provide any sort of excitment, but
without you no fun could be had at all. You
don't mean to, but you seem often sour. You
get little respect and sometimes get losts of
scorn, but yet you are faithful and eager to
please. People need you and you need them.
Your simpleness is the perfect backdrop to
showcase the eager smiles of children riding
you for their first time to the Happiest Place
on Earth.


What Disneyland attraction are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Damn, girl, you STILL smell like shit! Ever heard of a shower?

This week, Clive Dangerously hates... "The Day After Tomorrow" haters.


Okay folks, it's a movie. "It's not realistic!", you say. IT'S A FUCKING MOVIE. If my memory serves me correctly, the Northern hemisphere hasn't frozen over in a while. "Freezing doesn't happen that fast!"
"Thick oak doors couldn't stop freezing weather!"
"There is no story/plot!"

SHUT THE FUCK UP. Anyways, to address the above concerns: 1) It's a movie. 2) It's a movie. and 3) It's a Dennis Quaid movie. What did you expect?/You obviously don't know what "plot"means. According to dictionary.com, a plot is "The pattern of events or main story in a story or drama." "The Day After Tomorrow" qualifies as both a story and a drama. And I seem to remember a hell of a lot of events in it, so... IT HAS A PLOT.


GAAAAH, FUCK EVERYONE ON IMDB. They are all wrong. That was a great movie. Remember, the more helicopters in a movie, the better it is.

Damn, girl, you smell like shit!

A girl fell into a man hole today at school. She would have drowned in the 20 foot deep pit-of-shit if it hadn't been for some dumbass jock who now thinks he's Jesus Part II who stopped her from going under. Here's my only question: How does one NOT see a man hole without the top on it?


Okay, I lied, here's another question: Why can't stories like this be in the school newspaper? I mean, there is going to be that article on porn (glorifying it), but why not cover topics like that, too? Like a "(biggest)dumbass moment of the month" column, or something.


I might add that this is the girl who told me I could be her back up for the prom. Now I'd only agree to go if she used an air freshener as a necklace.

pho' shizzle

I stole this off of some guy's blog.



Ok, so I really need to vent this. Some kids at my school have REALLY BAD ACNE. Like, there are some people I can't look at because the shit all over their face makes me feel like throwing up all over them, which would mask THE HIDEOUS GROWTHS ALL OVER THEM. Did you see that movie/mockumentary "Smallpox"? If so, that's what it looks like. I'm just glad my face doesn't look like... shit (knock on wood).




The first Tomb Raider movie is on right now. Boy does it suck. It's like when Friends is on after the Simpsons (the 5th Element was just on) and I'm too lazy to get up and change the channel. Hey, Angelina Jolie, do us all a favor and QUIT ACTING.

A Brief History Lesson

In the mid 90's, the U.S.and Japan traded
baseball for anime and card games (respectively).



I want baseball back.

New Idea

Okay, I'm jsut trying this out, but from now on, unless it turns out to totally suck, I'm going to come up with one person or group I hate for each week. And I'll post it every weekend. Unless it sucks. But anyways, on to business.

This week, Clive Dangerously hates... THAT EMO KID I SAW TODAY

That little bitch. He was, like, skateboarding and shit. If I could drive, and I was driving at that point, I would have run his ass straight over. His hair was all long and stuff, and he was wearing black. Except for the blue jeans. And he had that vacant look on his face. Which could be interesting when I run him over. Would he change his expression? Would he go from that vacant, almost suprised look (like, why don't I have a bitch to call my own? Oh, yeah, I'm whiny, emo, a bitch in the first place and not that kid over ther[me]) to, like, an excited, I-just-got-some look? Or a did-I-leave-the-faucet-running look? Either way, I would use his frail corpse as a speedbump and his skateboard would be.... broken. So there. Ha.




Well, that sucked. Don't expect it next week. I should have known it wouldn't last.

EMO'D!

Congrats. You've been emo'd.

YES

"The Demise of the Siberian Traintracks of Our Rusty Forgotten Unblemished Love" sounds like it would make a great emo band name.

School Is A Bastardous Institution

I would just like to comment that, now that school has started back up, school seems to be more monotonous everyday. And some teachers manage to be absolute shitheads. And I hate them for it.

The Worst Holiday Ever

Let me begin by stating that New Years is the worst national holiday known to man. Every T.V. station is televising the drop some large spherical object that's a direct rip-off of the big ball in Times Square. The 'possum drop is the only worthwhile one. The other stupid thing is that they've managed to draw a ten second countdown and a few minutes of mindless zombies cheering into a two-hour special, held together by washed-up has-beens playing the song that made them famous- famous one-hit-wonders, that is- and a few other songs they want to promote that are really shitty and you never heard for a reason. Maybe I'll learn to like the holiday better when I'm old enough to drink (or invited to parties with booze) and I can go out to party and stuff. Then the first would be hangover day, like Comedy Central said.