A Shot of Me Laying Down

A Shot of Me Laying Down
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

I know it's incredibly pathetic to have a solo photo shoot, but I'm home alone nad I have no interest in talking to anyone who lives in my neighborhood because the majority of them suck. Anyways, note the lack of mirrors used in taking this picture. The majority of teenage drones would have taken a picture of a mirror. Instead, I got on the ground, held the camera up and SHABAM, there we go. NOT a cam whore.

Eh

hindenburger
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

Credit goes to Dan-o.

New York gets a hive five

Currently Listening To:Gotta Reason by Hard-FI
I am back from New York. Actually, I got back Friday, but neglected to post until now because apparently there is a cure for the nerd gene. It's only temporary, though. To get to t3h cityzorz, we took... THE TRAIN. That's right, Amtrak, bitcholas. Holy shit, can you say "Amtrak was pretty weak. I can see why not a lot of people use it anymore"? First of all, the employees were kind of dicks. We was getting a lot of attitude, especially because our group was kind of loud. And we're teenagers. I've learned that not many people like teenagers. Just other teenagers and creepy bus drivers. The train stopped a lot, too. In the time it took to rail up to NYC, we could flown there... and back... 4 or 5 times. But the train was spacious, and you didn't really have to be seated during the trip. And tunnels are awesome in trains. So anyways, twenty-one hours after leaving the station, we get there. After an hour of waiting for bags and shit, all 19 of us pile in to some cabs with English speaking folks to our quaint and qurappy hostel. The rooms were tiny, cramped, hot, and a tad nasty. and twelve people sharing 1 toilet and 1 shower is probably not a good idea. The hostel was populated by Europeans, both the hot and the creepy/old, and the hostel was, as far as I could tell, in the middle of the gay village. It made some of the littles dirks in the group quite uncomfortable, despite the fact that I don't think any of us were ever approached by a gay person. Oh, and another thing, I'd say that it's incredibly unwise to be saying "faggot" in the middle of a gay neighborhood, similar to saying the dreaded n-word in like Harlem or something. Just because all of the gay guys on TV are feminine doesn't mean one you meet in real life can't beat the shit out of you. Anyways, back to other things, I did actually like New York. First off, I love public transportation. We got these little subway cards so we didn't have to fuck with tokens and it was just like, "SWIPE" and bam, you get to go ride around town with homeless people in a metal tube that smells like piss. And the buses were cool too. Hey, I live in the south, I'll take whatever I can get. I also like how new stuff was put into old buildings. The movie theater where we saw X3(Which was phenominal, by the way) was built in like an old apartment building or something. The theater looked like the stand-alone ones we have here on the inside but it looked exactly like the other buildings near it on the outside. I laso like how the Apple store was entirely underground, except for the big glass square with the elevator above it. Badaaaaaaaaass. Times Square was cool because it still looked like the afternoon at midnight. Spamalot was hysterical, as was expected, and the bear spotting was exciting. Well, there wasn;t really a bear. What happened was, in the hostel, I was yelling at pedestrians saying that I was God, and asking them how they were enjoying my day. Some dude poured water down on to me, so I stopped that, instead opting to warn New Yorkers about the impending danger of bears looking for honey. We had several drills. Mosto f the people on the trip were decent. The two girls I hated on the trip last year were evne bitchier, but I managed to avoid most of it because we didn't spend as much time packed in small spaces as on the Maine trip. I had a bi-polar kind of relationship with the guys in my room. One minute we would gang up on one kind, then another, and then another, so everyone got a fairshare of beat down. Except for me. Because people bow before me. Most of the ganing up on befell the kid who was pretty much glued to his phone, going back and forth talking to Keytrayvis and his girlfriend. Talking until 1:30 in the morning? Not cool. Oh, and I didn't run out of money this time. I did, however, seeming develop an eating disorder, because aparently only bringing a little bit of cash out to eat qualifies as one. The hot dogs were good, as was the Chinese place we ate, but the pizza was mediocre at best. My favorite part, without a doubt, was the Virgin record store. Why?

1. The didn't ID
2. They sold condoms at the register. Not gonna be a virgin for long
3. I've been telling that joke all week
4. They were having a sale. On music!
5. It was several stories large
6. No rednecks or soccer moms in my way
7. Sorry for the X-Men spoiler at the beginning

Love, Ryan

Currently Listening To: Some Mad Techno Beats
This shit is the mad notes.

I am going to New York on a churchin' trip. Like the one to Maine last year, but this time we's going to the big city, and we're going by train and we're staying in a youth hostel. I have all the important crap packed. Movies, music, and underwear. I suppose I should be looking for some ID but... I'm not. So I'll be back next Saturday. That is, if I don't get mugged and raped.

My phone is broken. So don't call me, I won't know you did. And don't text me, because I can't read it. It seems like people only call my phone when I can't answer. I've gotten several texts since it broke as well. I'm getting a new one next month, so I'm fighting the urge to have an all-out emo cry fest over the thing. But I will always wonder what those text messages said. I can NEVER read them. It is quite a mystery.

There it is

Currently Watching: LOST
So this commercial for Underworld Two just came on. The DVD comes out on June 6th. Coming soon on... blu-ray. I think I'm going to cry. There it is. The end of human civilization.
On a happier note, old faithful has returned to me. My loving computer is back from the hospital. I mean, this lady in our neighborhood's house. She was some kind of computer badass. Badasssssssss. Rabaht's computah? Not so lucky.
On a sadder note, last Sunday, I found a silver dollar. And then I lost it. DAMN.
On a happier note, school is done. Did fairly well on exams. Exempted history, owned English, bombed Chemistry and did the same as I always do on Spanish. On one of my math questions, it had to do with compound interest, and I just didn't know it, so when I was asked how long it would take to make x amount of dollars, I just wrote 'a little while'. Oh, I am so witty.

I think I regained my attention span

Currently Listening To: Derpa Derpa Derp
I read two books this weekend. Suffice it to say, I think I no longer have the attention span of a fly. Having read two books, I will start a book club.



Wait a tic, I've already done that. Like, ages ago. Long attention span, short-term memory. Anyways, two books. State of Fear by Crichton and Velocity by Koontz. I liked the first one because of the ligntning, cannibalism, intrigue and because now I don't fear global warming. Oops, ruined the book. I liked the second because there was murder in it. MURDER. And intrigue and alcoholics. The main character was, after all, a barkeep.

I've developed a serious man crush on Bill Crudup. While I was reading those two books, the entire time I was planning them out as if I were to make them into movies. If I did, Billy Crudup would be the main character in both. Then he could do the thing where he's like, "Pants with zipper: 20 dollars. Metal buckle belt: 15 dollars. Being struck by lightning with no clothes on with a naked chick: priceless."

INTERNATIONAL CONSPIRACY REVEALED

Check this'un, bitch:


We took a survey at school today. A long survey. They asked aboot sex, drugs and alcohol, but interestingly enough no rock'n'roll. Anyways, one drug was alawan. No one had heard of alawan. So someone looked it up afterwards. It's not real. They've scammed us. I suppose the real question here is, if alwan isn't real, why is Uncle Tony doing twenty in the pen for dealing alawan? Answer me that, Minneapolis-based Search Institute. Or should I say, DHARMA INITIATIVE. That's right, I'm addicted to Lost like an emo kid addicted to alawan. That's pretty serious. It's on now. Hatches and heroin. Patches and pear to win.

Asleep on a table

Asleep on a table
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

Hey, that's me, dressed as the Civil War guy.

I can now bore no one to deth with my unfunny writings from school because Flickr isn't blocked. Hooray. So. Just failed and English test and choir exam/audition. YAY. Oh, I'm so emo. Now I suck. Even more. Haha, I keed, I keed, I still rule.

Uniforms are a definite possibility in the near future, which kinds makes me mad. Well, it actually does make me very mad. Uniforms are teh lamerz.org. That was definitely the one perk of this private school over all the others. I definitely love the policy of CHANGE EVERYTHING. Let's try not.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE THREE IS VERY LOUD

Currently Watching: Grandma's Boy
So we saw MI3 today. I was thoroughly impressed. Tom Cruise is okay in my book. I had two issues with the movie. I was horribly bored with the wedding party thing at the start of the movie. Like, Spanish with Senor Ross followed by Mr. Murray's class bored. Yeah. THAT bored. Then, they didn't really elaborate much AT ALL on this evil plot. Like, I'm not entirely sure what Tom Cruise was saving the world from, and what Jack Black's artsy clone was threatening to do. Hmm.

Dane came over on Friday and we went to WhiteWata on Saturday with some kids from school. Yup. Just some kids. It was pretty fuckin' cold. And it rained. But somehow I knew I would get wet so I wore a rain coat. They made me take it off a few times. Those bitches.

X-MEN III NEXT WEEK OHMYZEUS I'M SO EXCITED especially because I aksed my dad if we could see it at midnight, so there is a fraction of a chance we will. Hey, I bought Grandma's Bo this week and watched it a few times, and I finally watched Big Fish, and OH MY GOD X2 ON TV THIS FRIDAY, WITH ANOTHER PREVIEW OF X3. I'll watch it even though I already have it on Divduh.

I have a cold. Or a runny nose. Snff, snff.

584th POST!

NOT THAT I'M COUNTING
Some observations from the play:

• It frightens me a tad that the only way to get a laugh out of some people is to have a guy wear a dress.
• Jay McDavid smells AWFUL, and I frankly odn't like him very much, and not because he smells. I tell you what, if he quits letting EVERYONE know just how many days left of school until he graduates, I'd be happy. Happier. My life is already pretty good, so Jay McDavid bathing and being less obnoxious would do wonders.
• Jay McDavid is far too happy about the transvestism on the play. I'm gonna say he needs to stop groping me.
• The giant pencil kept getting in my way last night after the monologue, and it was pretty fucking annoying.
• That's pretty much it. I like the high-brow-ness of the humor. Robert told me he felt stupid because he didn't get all the jokes. He needn't worry. Neither does anyone else, they just pretend too because they're all trying to pretentious us to death. Ooops, inside joke. Obscure reference. There I go again. I best stop now.

So, happy about school almost being done, history being done, Beck concert next month, Grandma's Boy THIS WEEK. Et cetera, et cetera. God, I can't wait to watch it again. ADIOS TURD NUGGETS. And Coinstar. Coinstar, rock rock on! But I feel a tad guilty. I have some pennies from the sixties and even before that, and I'm just casting them off like a child I no longer love. The quarters, dimes and nickels I can part with, mostly because the quarters are those ghey arse state quarters. I remember when those things were such a huge deal. Why on earth would you waste your time collecting something that will only ever be worth twelve dollars and fifty motherhumpin' cents? That's ridiculous.

OH MY GAAAAAAAAAHD

Currently Listening To: Dani California by Red Hot Chili Peppers

SO. I was watching my TV, which is my new favorite past time. I didn't watch so much TV this past week, at least my TV, so I had a lot of recorded shit to catch up on. For some reason I can't actually finish anything that I watch nowadays. I've had Blade recorded for like three weeks, and I'm still only 30 minutes into it. I think my attention span is gradually getting shorter and shorter. Maybe I'll try to ween myself off of the TV addiction so I can salvage what's left of my attention span. I'll still watch TV, but not as much. Anyways, watching TV and a commercial came on, so I started to fast forward at warp speed. But then I saw something flash onto the screen. Something... familiar. So I stop and rewind. GRANDMA'S BOY ON DVD THIS TUESDAY. So I'm going to take all that change I've got and coinstar it and then go to somesort of video-selling hut and BAM. Maybe I'll convince Robert to take me to Target on the way home from school on Tuesday, like the time I wanted to buy Transporter 2 on DVD the day it came out. Supercheaps at Target.

It's funny that I saw that commercial because I was thinking a Grandma's Boy earlier today and was wondering when it would ocme out on DVD and then BAM. That's been happening a lot lately. Like last night, when I was reminded of the shoe I found on the beach over spring break. I hadn't seen or thought of it since early March and I remembered it last night. Then, this morning, I saw the shoe in the trash. We're talking some serious Final Destination shit right here. Hey, I've got that recorded too. Like that time I tried to buy it at Circuit City, which is where I was planning on buying GRANDMA'S BOY! OH MY GOD! WE HAVE TO GET OFF THE PLANE RIGHT NYAH!

AP Euro is done as of yesterday at 3:30, and that is very, very good. I think I did well, making me worthy of the 3-4 free periods I now have each day. And yay for being done with Schmidt FOR GOOD. The play went well last night, and I assume it will again tonight and tomorrow. At 8, in the drama room. Be there, or be somewhere else and feel left out whenever anyone makes a reference to the play.

You kids stay fly.

Movies coming to video soon/eventually I'm interested in or will participate in buying:

1. Grandma's Boy (Tuesday)
2. When a Stranger Calls (May 16)
3. Underworld Evolution (June 6)
4. Ultraviolet (June 27) MAYBE. I'll probs rent it first.
5. Final Destination 1-3 Box Set(not the real name, because the real name ocntains a bad pun) (July 25)

I Saw V for Vendetta Last Night

And it was beautiful. I almost cried because of its awesome. It was that great. How does a movie get to be so freakin' awesome? Especially when the creators were the same who gave birth to that trainwreck I like to call "Th Matrix Revolutions". That one sucked big balls. I didn't even see the first scene and I still liked it. Most of the time not knowing what people in a movie are talking about throws you off and you can't like it but alas, I did. We're watching another movie in Spanish. As all the other ones we've watched in there have, this one has boobs. And for this movie, we get 2x boob action because for some reason, when we finished it, we were instructed to rewind it... And start over. No complaints here. It has Jimmy Smits in it, and he's pretty freakin' rad.

Hey, I bought Room On Fire on Friday. It's pretty goo. Pretty good. That would be weird if it were goo, even the pretty kind.

There's a joke in there somewhere.

Why Hello There, Children

Computer still not working. Eh, whatever. I got a new TV, so DirecTV is my new internet. And for some reason, the prospect of having lost a great deal of iTunes music doesn't bother me all that much. We're watching a movie in Spanish, which is cool because whenever we watch a movie in Spanish, the stars are always vaguely familiar Latin American actors and boobs.


CHUCHO, NO!


Chucho died. The fuzz capped him in la cabeza. It was suparaining x10 today. And all of my teachers managed to ignore the tornado warning siren. Don't worry teach, that's just there to look cool. Yeah, we can't leave class early due to safety concerns, but we can still learn during a motherhumpin' tornado watch. Oh teh ironyzorz. You kids enjoy yourselves.

Currently Listening To: Steady As She Goes by the Raconteurs, or some such fancy word
One of these days I'm just going to go completely off the deep end, even more so than normal. If that were to happen, tell them they can find my body encased in Jell-O in the bathtub.

I Live In Constant Fear Of My Computer

The blue screen of death frequently plagues me. Soooo I'm not online much. I also don't want to download anything off of iTunes for fear of my computer crashing mid-downloading and then I'll have wasted some money, which I don't have much of.

We went to Little 5 Points today. I bought the Editors CD at Criminal Records, bummed around in Junkman's Daughter and had a Chubby Burger at Zestos. Fun. Yay! I can't get into my locker so I'm behind on the Great Gatsby. The movie was on yesterday, but I couldn't watch because I was recording the Ring, which I don't plan on watching, so I wasted that opportunity. Ooops. Okay I love you goodbye.

'Sexiest woman': Scarlett Johansson

Currently Listening To: Things Are What You Make Of Them by Bishop Allen

I concur.

Happy Blernsday to Q and Nathan Fillion! Speaking of that second guy, the movie SLITHER looks disgusting! I can't wait. I just have to convince someone to drag me to go see it. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I'll work on that.

The Devil is A Fat Redhead

the devil is a fat redhead
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

The taker of this photo entitled it "The Devil Wears Aeropastale", but that is inaccurate. I only bought the jacket because it was 8 dollars. And all deez peeps be askin' me, "18 in what sport?" and I be all, "Don't be like dat, bitch. I ain't no sports folk. Bitch."

Oh My Zeus!

Currently Listening To: Fit But You Know It by the Streets
Snakes on a Plane had some scenes re-shot last month. Why? They wanted and R rating, following the huge buzz created by fatass nerds, such as myself. Here's what they added

1. More gore
2. More boobs
3. More deaths
4. More snakes
5. "I want these motherfuckin' snakes of this motherfuckin' plane!"

This brings me to my next point. Ages upon eons ago, I posted a list of movies sure to suck for 2006. Now how about a list of movies that I'd actually like to see, not including any that I already have:

1. V for Vendetta
2. Ultraviolet
3. Scurrrry Movie 4
4. The Wild(Hey, it promises to be a half-decent version of Madagascar, and has likeable voices, so I'm in)
5. Mission Impossible 3, with that crazy scientologist asshole guy
6. Hoot(Eh, maybe not. But I'll keep it here for balance's sake.)
7. Poseidon
8. X-MEN TRES. OhmyJebus, I think I may line up now.
9. Supaman Returns
10. Strangers with Candy
11. That Pirate movie. I must admit, in real life, I suck at spelling, so the name of that sea with all those topical islands strikes fear into my heart when it comes to spelling it, even though it's right in front of me.
12. I don't feel the need to name this next one. I'll just say, come August 18th, I will be watching my hero battle reptiles on some sort of airborne vehicle. That's all I'll say
13. That same day, Clerks II, Die Hard in a Fast Food Restaurant
14. Crank. But only because my other hero is in it.
15. Sunshine
16. Stranger than Fiction
17. Casino Royale, of course
18. SKINWALKERS. Me gustan mucho los werewolves
19. Van Wilder 2, Rise of the Taj

Teens Gamble with Food Allergies

Currently Watching: Big Love
I see your peanut allergy, and raise you a lactose intolerance.


Yaaaaaay, poligamy! Booo Isaac Hayes. If I had ever ripped Shaft from that CD to my computer, I would be deleting it right now.

Slobadan Milosivec is DEAD?!?!?!

Wait.

Who?

Two words. Burning bus. Check the xanga.

Vacation. Yay! No sunburn, + a million freckles. Yay! Lots and lots of time with my sisters. Surely you know me weel enough to know that that was the low point of pretty much the whole year. Maybe if I weren't so irritable, and they weren't so annoying, I wouldn't detest time with them so much. It's as if whenever they enter a room, someone poured a can of WAAAAAAAAAH on the floor. I watched the Oscars. I felt so bad for Jon Stewart. This year's Oscars proved that Hollywood is so full of itself, with it's head so far up its ass, that at least half of the audience probably feels too good for the air us 'normies' breathe each day. I'm not talking outside a paper mill, walking behind a fat guy eating a hoagie air. We're talking walking behind one o' thems fancy hybrid cars air. NICE air. Liberal air. I watched Crash, as well. It deserved best picture. Most of the time, 'best picture' means long, and boring, and for old people. Not this time. And despite not really liking rap, I loved the performance of "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp". But that was a week ago. Fast forward to a little later, and we did some other stuff. I found some cool things. I'ma go find the digicam and take pictures of my cool finds. I was in Barnes and Noble the other day (I 'bought' the novelization of UltraViolet. It's really good. It reads like a Crichton, at least in my mind. Still haven't seen the movie, and probably won't until video, but that's okay. I've realized how overbearing and obnoxious I am about movies, so I'll try and back off a bit in that respect.) and I realized that I kind of fade in and out of existance sometimes. Like, I lose time. I'm sitting there, and all of a sudden it's a lot later. That sounds really weird, but it happens sometimes. And it isn't sleep. I know that because I always sleep with my mouth open so there's dried saliva around my mouth and I've got that nasty breath you get when you sleep. When I lose time, neither of those things happen. I'll just be sitting somewhere, when it's quiet and I'm alone, and I look up at the clock and BAM, it's later. It's weird. I don't know why I thought of that at that point in time. Don't know why I thought of it now either. I don't even know what I'm thinking now. Sometimes that happens too. I'll be thinking of something, and then all of a sudden I forget it. Then I try and remember what I was thinking, and I get really distracted and I can't think of anything else, except for "WHAT THE HELL WAS I JUST THINKING?" and unless someone comes and starts talking to me, I'll think that for a really long time. Blahblahblahneenoneenoneenolalalalalalalalalalalaokthnxgbye.

Oh yeah. I finally saw Final Destination 3. Personally, I would have gone further with the homicidal goth kid and axed the lame epilogue.

Brokeback Mountain... In 30 Seconds... With Bunnies

I'M THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!
Currently Listening To: Pleasantville, staring a slightly less annoying Toby Maguire
So, exams are done, and I think I did fairly well. Better than last winter, I guess. Next week, we're ACTUALLY going somewhere for Spring Break. More like, late-winter, post-exam break. But it'll be warm and stuff. We're going to Florida. Palm Beach! followed by the Keys, which I am less enthusiastic about because it sounds like it'll just be pretty people getting tans on the beach, which is boring. There's stuff to do in West Palm. It's almost like a real city. Well, I suppose it is 100% a real city, becuae people live and work there and stuff. Whatever. AH, PAUL WALKER'S IN THIS MOVIE? Jumpin' Jimminy Cricket, is there movie he ISN'T in? I mean DAMN. ANYWAYS, back to business. I'm going to bring a bunch of movies on the car trip, which is probably 10 hours to West Palm, and 2 or so more to the Keys. I'm thinking Serenity, Mallrats, the Day After Tomorrow, Dawn of the Dead, X-Men 1 or 2, Shaun of the Dead, Saved!, Revenge of the Sith... And maybe Batman Beings. Ten sounds good. Maybe I'll throw in Land of the Dead. Haven't watched that in a while.

In conclusion, I'd live in Pleasantville.

EDIT: Nevermind. Pleasantville would be awful to live in.

Exams!

Currently Listening To: Cigaro by SOAD

FUN! ME GUSTA MUCHO EXAMS! Now for some math. Exams+me=I love exams.


Oh, wait, no I don't. But I had fun today. I went to Taco Smell after the first exam and Schroeder's after the second. YAY.

A View From A Couch

A View From A Couch
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

Five bucks if you can tell me what mvoie I'm watching.

This is how my miniscule yet adeguate home entertainment center looks from the SexCouch.

Where my glasses go?

Where my glasses go?
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

Oral Hygine Funtime

Oral Hygine Funtime
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.