Fat-Ass Danish Servant from Hamlet's Time

Fat-Ass Danish Servan from Hamlet's Time
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

Another picture from the play, "Actor's Nightmare". I'm still that same character, but here he's playing a character from Hamlet. Playing someone acting poorly isn't terribly difficult. That didn't stop me from making it hard. This may have been the night when I blanked out, hence the look on my face. It's kind of funny talking about the play now, considering it took place more than a month ago, along with the foil picture. They were on my sister's camera, which isn't usually in my possesion. Also, I wasn't aware of their existance, which is, well, quite prohibitive. I found them while retrieving a picture several years in the making, which I will post... Eventually.

650th post, what what.

Snooty Gay Actor

Snooty Gay Actor
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

Picture from the play, "Actor's Nightmare", wherein I play a guy who thinks he's a lot better of an actor than he really is, which wasn't terrbily difficult.

Hand

Hand
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

Fun with Play-Doh. Rather, fun with cheap knockoff-of-Play-Doh-purchased-at-Wal-Mart. There's a good picture of Madeline with her entire hand covered, because she's short and can fit and entire jaro f the stuff around her outstretched hand.

Gregory Timkins

Gregory Timkins
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

This is my kind friend, Gregory Timkins. He is made of tin foil. He once was the lining in a plastic basket which carried my sandwich. Then I ate it, and he was left without a purpose, so I made him my new friend.
Wow, I have really bad teeth.

THERE HAS BIN A FAILURE ON TEH INTERNETS

Good time, good times.

I noticed that I hadn't posted in a good eon or so, so I posted. I'm in DC right now. Hoepfully tomorrow I will get a picture at a spot that holds a special place in my heart... It's next to an Exxon station. Exxon sounds like progress because nothing says hip, edging and "the future" like the letter X. Two in succession just take the cake.

I finished a book this week called Prayers for the Asssassin. It was pretty schwey. I found it marked down 80% at Barnes and Noble. It was about an alternat timeline scenario where America had another civil war following a mass conversion to Islam. There was this Zionist conspiracy, but of course, the question became "How deep does this conspiracy go?" and life changing secrets were discovered by all. Good times, good times. Now I've started on a Robert Ludlum book. Believe it or not, it involves... A government conspiracy. I'm a sucker for this shit.

New Idea For A Family Movie

Things that typically don't speak in movies speaking + an underdog/outcast/several saving the day and proving themselves to everyone else who doesn't normally speak + A-list star saturated cast - computer animation.

Crive Dangerousry's Guide to Music, 2006

Currently Listening To: Nausea by Beck (I'm just oozing with musical snobbish-ness!)
There's a lot of bad music out there these days, all seeking to be the worst of the worst. I'm here to save the day by telling you, the mindless sheep of Amurica, what to listen to. And if you don't, I will have my henchman Dario carve out your heart and force you to watch it beat for the last time. Then I will eat it.

1. That crappy Hinder song, Hinder: Wow, this song is pure crap. It's like a ripoff of, say, Nickelback, and they suck huge dill. When you rip off someone who sucks, you pretty much swallow. I wish you could hear me do the impression of the Hinder/Nickelback singer. According to me, it's fucking hysterical. And I'm not entirely sure why girls like this song. Sure, his devovtion to his chick is romantic, but his devotion to his official chick? Eh... And what makes these whiny teenage girls who have never experienced true romantic love think that they'll be the first girl?
2. Welcome to the Black Parade, My Chemical Romance: Where to start, where to start... How about the start of the song, undoubtedly the worst part. Okay, so we got this whiny guy crooning about his dad... They go to a parade... "Will you be the savior to the broken and damned (or something)?" and then he's talking to some chick... I really don't see how they all fit. They kind of forget about the parade. And why is dad talking to his obviously young boy about what he HAS to do after he dies? No wonder they're an emo band, which leads me to my second point; since when were emos "the broken, the beaten and the damned"? They're broken because they delight in their own pain, beaten because they suck and damned because they suck. The only salvation they need is abrick to the head and some intensive emo-lifestyle deprivation. Third of all, whatever happened to the parade? They talk about going to a parade and that's it. Why couldn't they have gone to a ballgame? A Broadway show? A donkey show? Was parade picked because "Black Parade" sounds deep and emotional? ...Oh. I see. He thinks he is Jesus. Can I crucify him?
3. SexyBack, Justin Timberlake: Thank you, Justin, for bringing sexy back. I was starting to seriously miss it.
4. London Bridge, Fergie: I'm doubtful as to whether or not someone actually wants to go down her Londy-Londy, wanna go down her Londy-Londy... I heard she was a meth head. Even if she's dunzo, still.
5. Chain Hang Low, Jibbs: I'm sorry, I can't type any more. Hearing tihs snog hsa gvien m,,,e a labatamy ../fgdfg/.,fgbh/,fgb

Buy this crap and you'll be the coolest of the cool, I promise!

Why is Heroes the Best Show Ever?

Recent studies cite the fact that the producers dip every reel of film from each day's shoot in a vat of pure liquid awesome.

Speaking of Heroes, it is a distinct possibility that I in fact have superpowers, and I'm not talking about my sex appeal. Today in English I moved something with my mind. Well, not really, but apparently I did, because Mr. Saunders pretty much blamed a clock with apparent sentimental value falling to its doom on me. So pretty much Esa and I are sitting there by the open door and the God-clock when it just kind of fell. I don't know what caused it to fall. I wasn't watching as it did; I didn't even notice it until it was on the ground, in pieces. I do know, however, that neither Esa nor I touched the filing cabinet and that the door was open so a gust of wind knocking it down is not completely outside the realm of possibility. Anyways, it falls, breaks, I don't respond pretty much at all. Then he goes and gets all immature about it. "Oh, don't worry, that totally didn't have any sentimental value at all. I've only had it for twenty years and it was only given to me by one of my favorite students..." YAWN. I suppose I would see where he was coming from if it wasn't tucked away over all by its lonesome behind a tub of chalk that gets less love than Tom Cruise.

What pisses me off most is that I didn't do anything and yet he gave me all this shit. Maybe I'm just blowing it out of proportion. Whatevskis. But THEN, to top it off, after he picked up the glass, he looked over my shoulder, saw that I had a Macbeth summary thing printed off and punched me in the back of the head. He was all, "Don't bring that, you need to bring the actual book. The plot doesn't matter!" completely overlooking the fact that my copy of Macbeth, which I actually have been reading, unlike everyone esle in that class, was right there. Gah.

I'm thinking of buying him a clock. But the catch will be, it's already broken. That would be a good'un. OR I could buy him a lawn gnome. Those are badass.

Things I Have Been Putting Off Doing For The Past Two Weeks:

My Spanish paper, due... tomorrow. I should get cracking.

Archaelogical Find In Our House Today

Currently Listening To: Gravity's Rainbow by Klaxons(Check it)
So, just now, some people were down heyah in the basement looking for a box when I decided to "help". When I say "help" I, of course, mean "be there to take cool things I come across" because isn't that why we have boxes of crap like that? Anyways, I found...
A paper shredder.


Yes, that's right. This is going to be fun.

That reminds me of when Matt, Claire and... Starla? and I went to Staples and they had paper shredders you could try out, and so of course we did. Then I took the shredded paper(There was a huge wastebin full of it.) and stuffed my jacket with it. If someone had decided to rob Staples, I could have stopped him because if he had shot me, the shreds would surely stop the bullet.

Oh, and by-the-way, you bastards fekkin' ate us out of seafood. You know, I had planned on liking seafood later on, but no, Mr.I-Eat-Fresh-Lobster-And-Caviar-Every-Day(Kim Jong-il) had to go and ruin shit for us. I only eat lobster twice every sixteen years and28 days, meaning I've had it twice.

I would like to go ahead and state that I like Tom Cruise. All his eccentricites aside, I really like some of his movies. M:I 3, War of the Worlds, Collateral, Last Samurai, Minority Report... All decent movies. Ignore the fact that he (ate his baby's placenta/is a loony Scientologist/42>26/he's short/whatever), he makes very entertaining movies. And it's not a crime to be short. Even though it's painfully obvious he is a shorty in some scenes in M:I3.




FELICITY, WATCH OUT!

Brilliant Idea

I just had a sudden burst of cynicism. I'm going to make a t-shirt that reads:

I Only Care About Darfur Because It's Trendy

It's so true. Don't deny it. A few months ago the majority of the population didn't give a flying fuck, but now that there are t-shirts and concerts and celebrities on the bandwagon, who wouldn't join in on the fun? I wouldn't mind if people were just silently giving cash, but if you have to advertise it then the entire movement is entirely lost on you. You should do it because genocide is terrible, not because Bono says to.

Has anyone else seen the new Internet Explorer? It's pretty much a ripoff of Firefox, but I love it none-the-less.

iHate 2.0

Currently Listening To: Sun/Rise/Light/Flies by Kasabian
I really, really hate car commercials. They pretty much epitomize 45 year old ad execs trying to relate to today's youth... And failing miserably. Car commercials=NOT COOL. And I really wish old people would give the internet the ol' shut-the-fuck-up. Stop talking about youtube, myspace, facebook... Just stop. Old people aren't supposed to relate with kids. Think about it this way, you geriatric bastard: If Senator McCarthy had been rocking out to Buddy Holly fifty years ago, you would lose all interest in those records. Same thing here. Back to the point: Let's face it, your car isn't all that impressive and not-so-funny jokes and gags don't do much to help. I feel like thirty seconds of friends is thrown at me during every commercial break. MAKE IT STOP.

On the other hand, iGetoffto the new Kasabian CD. It's pure magick. Go buy it... Three times. Kasabian needs the cash. I would go see them in concert this November, but it's the night before my Physics exam, so balls to that.

This suit is nooot blaaack. Borat will likely be the cinematic event of the millenium. Check it, bitches.

Wokka Wokka

Currently Watching: Underworld Evolution
I am totally, completely, 100% over Franz Ferdinand. It's weird. They went from being my favorite band to last week me removing all of it from my iPod. It's not like they're bad, I'm just tired of listening to them. Maybe when their new CD comes out. I've realized there are a metric ass load of CDs I am waiting/hoping for: The Bravery's second album, Hot Hot Heat's x-teenth album, Kaiser Cheifs 2nd, Hard FI's second. Get on that, bitches. I'd also like the Fray to release thier next single. If I were to never hear "How To Save A Life" again it would be really, really great. IT was the song that really stuck out when I bought it LAST DECEMBER, but it has kind of been played 438,762 times on Atlanta radio, which would be like three or four stations that could possibly have it on their playlist. Star90whore.

That Muslim Imam guy who talked at our school? Got arrested. For terrorism. Yeah, he was kind of send money to Hamas, the 'other guys' in that Lebanon/Israel thing this summer. Yup. Giving them money. That's pretty crazy.

I got the new Kasabian CD. It is loverly. Got Beck, Hellogoodbye, Audislave and an old-ish Weezer one too. I'm also considering the Rocco Deluca and the Burden CD. They're some cool cats.

OWNED

Oh, by-the-way, don't watch that if you haven't seen Final Destination.

I AM SIXTEEN

Currently Watching: X-Men 3

Yay! I'm older now!

For the first time in quite a while, I actually feel different today than I did yesterday. That's cool. I'll give a full... Report of my birthday tomorrow.

ONE DAY

DOWN WITH ESTABLISHMENT

Currently Listening To: Reason Is Treason by Kasabian
...and by establishment, of course, I mean my math teacher. I really, really, REALLY do not like him. Rarely does one encounter someone who has managed to stick their head that far up their own ass. Yeah, I know, I'm not nearly as great at math as you are, because you are simply a math god, but does that mean that I am incapable of learning math? Does that make you exempt from teaching? Am I a lost cause just because I don't have an A in your class? I would say that knowing 82% of math is a considerable achievement, but NO. At this point, six weeks into the year, I need to be considering dropping his class. And tell me, what is wrong with this concept: "Knowing the homework is not enough"? Isn't that the entire point behind homework? You do it and if yuo can that means you understand the concepts? YOU BASTARD. Words cannot express how much I loathe this man; I despise him with every inch of my being, right down to my rotting and soulless core, with a level of passionate fury previously unbeknownst to mankind. To make me feel better, I will watch some Bob Ross on YouTube and then read about Fruit Loops on Wikipedia...



...And now I'm feeling better. It always helps to get your feelings out on paper, even though this isn't paper; it's the internet and as such everything I'm putting down on this blog is utterly insignificant. But maybe, just maybe, it will have an effect. Maybe the school will see this(Because everyone knows they scour the internet for students' sites) and they'll kick my math teacher's fly self to the curb. Or maybe this will get me motivated to study now instead of tomorrow for my math test. The best success is revenge, and I plan to be so successful that some might say I went Kill Bill on him. Let me take a moment right now to emphasize that I don't plan on killing him; I know lately there has been a spike in lameasses who come to school with guns and blow folks away. That isn't me. I hate my math teacher, but murder is ineffective in terms of getting your way unless your way is getting pounder in the ass in jail for the rest of your life. Not interested.

I'm not sure how I want to spend the rest of my night. Obviously, I said I planned on some homework so I have less tomorrow, but there are two things I want to see on TV tonight: Cry_Wolf on HBO and SNL on NBC, but they're during the same time slot. What to do, what to do...

One Week

WaBam!

Is Lips of an Angel the Worst Song Known To Man?

Currently Listening To: Here (In Your Arms) by Hellogoodbye

Pretty much. Not really any room for debate. You may say Macarena or something by the Spice Girls, but that's so ten years ago. Way to live in the past, LOSER.

If I ever so those Hinder a-holes, I'd kick their Oklahoman asses with a fury previously unknown to man.

TODAY

Is two weeks to the day until my 16th.


So pretty much whenever I bring it up, which is a lot because sadly enough my young-ness is one of my defining features apparently, people are all, "Great, when do you get your license?" and I'm all, "I'm not going to." I get tired of explaining my not driving-ness. It would be better if I had like some disorder or something and I wasn't allowed to. That way, I could say "I have epilepsy!" rather than "I'm two months younger than everyone else in our grade!"

I would prefer that.

JOIN THE RESISTANCE

Ignore "Talk Like A Pirate Day". Old people know about it. Seriously, it was in the school anouncements last year, which is garbage McBullshits. Eff that.

So pretty much... There's sometihng I would really like to rant about pretty much anywhere where I already haven't, but it's a tad risky, seeing as this person wil likely read it. Oh, I bet you'd like to know now, wouldn't you? Hah, you are that type of guy, now aren't you? If it gets to be too much, privately aske me and I will pretty much tell you.

Mmm, Yummers!

I thought you might like that video. I know I do. Makes me SMILE. And I don't have a soul, so you know it's legit. It's even better once you realize that Jamba Juice is REAL, and that's what it's like. I swear to God there are more Jamba Juices in NY than Starbucks.

I wouldn't cry if I never heard the word indie again. I'm so effing done with it. I've never thought of myself as being indie, but it seems like it's effing everywhere and it has just run its course. It has been officially retired by me. Also, 'hip' in the sense of what's popular is done too. Sure, it isn't a term exclusive to our time, but it's done too. I really wish some people wouldn't try so hard to relate to kids.

Fucking LifeTouch. They take bad pictures on purpose. I hate them, they suck. I posted my bad picture last year. This year... No. I can't. It is truly the worst year book picture I have ever seen, simply because it is bad enough to be "Oh my God!" bad, but not to the point of "In a week or so I'll laugh about this." It's just "Oh my God" bad. Fuckers. And the worst part is, if I get retakes, the retake won't be my yearbuck picture and it won't be the one I get to look at every time I look at my grades. I really hate LifeTouch. Their monopoly on the yearbook picture business is bothersome.

Ways To Not Honor Someone

So this past weekend, Steve Irwin died. That's sad. I never watched his show, but it's still sad. The on teh internets, people were all, "hey guyz dis is teh badzorz lets send owt myspace bullitens in his honor lolz". I suppose that's a nice thing to do...



BUT NOT IF BY HONORING HIM YOU MEAN BOMBARDING PEOPLE WITH STEREOTYPES. The bulletin title "CRIKEY! R.I.P" is about as respectful as saying, "Let's remember him with a trip to Taco Bell!" when a Hispanic celebrity croaks or "Le'ts go get drunk out of our skulls!" when an Irish/Russian/German person dies. Don't get me wrong, I joke using stereotypes all the time, but how in God's name anyone managed to think that that was an acceptable way to express your feelings about his death is beyond me. And I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted people to hate stingrays because of this. Yes, he's called the Crocodile Hunter but he LIKED animals and tried to help them, so don't say that you hope they kill the stingray that killed him, that's stupid.

CRANK

Currently Listening To: Munich by Editors
Well, we did see it last night. It was amazing. It was funny, suspenseful, action-packed, intense... It was everything. There were drugs, there was violence, there was sex, nudity, lanugage... Probably one of the more offensive movies I've seen. It was just... a lot of fun. I definitely reccomend seeing it in a packed theater like we did, because movies are always better when you see it with a lot of people. Even when some people bring their babies. I mean, I guess the whole R-rating thing is meant to warn people against bringing elementary schoolers in, but that includes babies. Don't bring babies into R-rated movies. C'mon, it common sense, folks. Number one, scholars.

Bah dum cha.

Watch out this week, becuase lately I've been on a roll with the Mel Gibson jokes.

Il Updato

So school this week was okay. Except for the last two periods on Friday, which I spent showing my lack of knowledge about physics. I studied, but I got the test and all those formulas were just PFFT. Gone. But the great thing was that I didn’t have a mental breakdown or anything, which during any other school year in the past I likely would have. Come to think of it, he said the scores would be up Friday night, and it’s Sunday, so I could check if I so desired. BUT I DON’T. So I will just sit here.

This weekend was supafly. On Friday I went to the football game. Claire, Matt, Starla, et cetra had fled the city for Labor Day, so I sat with people who I don’t normally, which was fun. Even though we were likely to get Hassan’d. Chattooga is a sketchy place if I’ve ever seen one. Some goth kids kept coming over to our side to maybe provoke us or something? I don’t know. They were looking for justification for their existence. With no upper/upper-middle class kids to patronize they would just be regular kids who blow their cash on stupid and impractical clothing from Hot Topic.

Our team lost, which was rather sad-ifying, but I got over it. Maybe they’ll win next week, but I was really pulling for AJ to get his birthday wish (AHAHAHAHAHA!). It’s kind of funny how when we beat other teams, they say we paid off the officials but that never comes up when we lose. What kind of moron would pay someone to make them lose by less? If you’re gonna cheat, go all the way. And if you’re a redneck bitter about what school you do or don’t go to, jump into a vat of lye, we don’t need you. Effing plebes.

Yesterday… I didn’t really do anything. I watched X2 and did the usual lazy shit.

Today we watched Empire Strikes Back in Sunday School, which was the shiz. I even managed to come up with a way to relate it to Jesus (Luke in the wilderness for a month, sacrifices his hand, reborn as Jedi who redeems the sinners, AKA Darth Vader, who then go and rid the world of EVIL, AKA the Holy Roman Emperor Joey Katz-Palpatine). Just kidding, I love the Pope.

Tonight we will hopefully be going to see CRANK with Jason Statham. IT looks so badass. Hopefully at some point this month the Snake on a Plane convoy can make its way to the Centre Drive-In as well, but we’ll just have to wait.