CNN.com - Jackson not guilty - Jun 13, 2005

Wait, who's Michael Jackson?

You know what's funny? If not for his court case, I wouldn't have any idea who he was.


"wtf michael jackson should not be allowed to walk the streets but well i guess its no worse than oj...we know they both did it so they should both be thrown in jail damn cops are dumasses"
Let's get started on breaking this one down:

1. He hasn't 'walked the streets' in years. He gets driven everywhere.
2. 'We' know they both did it? Were you there when O.J.'s ex was murdered? Were you in the room when Michael was sharing his bed with that kid? You couldn't possibly know whether either of them did it. Jackass.
3. The cops are dumbasses? They had nothing to do with Jackson getting off. It was the jury, specifically the old hag who decided he was guilty solely on the fact that the accuser's mother shook her finger at the jury. I am not making this up.

Okay, so no more discussion of MJ. I don't give a flying fuck, so everyone just shut up about him. Let him go back to his large mansion, pet monkey, private amusement park and enormous debt.

And check this out if you aren't already tired of Napoleon Dynamite.