Some Whiny Kid's Random And Irrelevant Complaints: March 2008

Friday, March 14, 2008

Cool Things

Currently Watching: Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Doomsday--How can I describe this movie? Truth is, I can't.

But I'll try: You know how on a roller coaster, your stomach drops? It was like that, except it was my balls and they were going up instead of down, and instead of the gentle 'drop', 'twas a launch. All the zombie-madman carnage straight up took me boys in its hand and shot them straight up. The wanton violence and gore took my projectile testicles and removed them from orbit, then proceeding to yank out my eyes, so as to prevent me from trying to see something that incredible ever again, and replacing them wit me boys. Finally, the car chase ripped my new 'eyes' out, lit them on fire and put them back from whence they originally came, before forcibly taking one of my limbs from its socket and sodomizing me with it.

Forgive the hyperbole, but BEST MOVIE EVER.

Back to cool things:

Weather--As we left the theater, the calm weather was disrupted by a bolt of lightning, immediately after which shit fell out. I mean, seriously: no transition from dry to drizzle to damp; one second it was dry and with no warning but the bolt of lightning, it was monsoon weather. And lightning continued throughout. It was, well, a cool thing.
This e-mail from my Government teacher: You have outdone yourself this time. Not only was your exam the funniest thing I have read in a long time (I fell off the couch laughing) and your essay excellent, but you also just blew the curve for your classmates. Nothing like an ego boost.
The other two exams I got A's on, as well as the one I got a B on. The last two exams? Let me tell you where they can shove it.
Becoming a famous TV star on Sunday at 7 a.m., when my episode of High Q comes on. WATCH IT!
Going to bed!!1!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Lovely Ladies

Currently Listening To: Blackout by Muse
So I'm watching last night's Colbert Report; he was showing a montage mourning the death of conservative McCain-bashing, and I saw a shot of McCain's wife. His hot wife. Then I thought of a soundbyte I dropped in Government class, to the effect of: "George W. Bush and I have two things in common: we're white males and we think Laura Bush is really hot."

Then i thought of the best idea ever: First Ladies' Calendar. We'd have them all: Laura Bush, McCain's arm candy, Michelle Obama, Dirty Denny Kucinich's model/giant (because he is a goblin), Maria Schriver, Gov. Spritzer's loyal lady, Bill Clinton... All the greats. I'm sure Georgia governor Sonny Perude has a hot wife; throw her ol' bones in there too.

Don't get hung up on the 'First Ladies' thing; sure, Sras. McCain, Obama, Kucinich, etc., aren't First Ladies yet/won't ever be (Sorry Sra. Kucinich), but people will get the point.

And don't say I'm the only one who would buy it, because that's bullshit and you know it; you'd get one for your office and one for your den.

And Doomsday, aside from looking awesome, has a banging song in the trailer, as well as a banging trailer and a banging lead.

Ooh, Laura Bush... You've helped me out of countless lonely nights. Where's that copy of Newsweek?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Alphabeat--Fascination

So this is my favorite video ever. I showed it to Adrienne, and she said it was gay. It is not gay. It is awesome.

I am currently at school. Had I not auditioned for the play, I would be at home, because it is exam week, and I was done at 9 a.m. today. Instead, I must wait until 4:30. That is a bigger gap than the gap in my awake time I have every day, you know, sleep. I really should have slept. Instead, I spent countless hours in the pub at school, just kind of tooling around, graphically designing and watching the Daily Show on their website.

I am pathetic.