Nothing To Do Today

We had yet again no school today. I love having nothing to do. Boredom is bliss.



As part of my boredom, I watched CNN. The satelite was (who'd have guessed it) screwing up and skipping and what not, and it made the anchor lady sound like she was saying '...he is fucking dead', but with the 'fucking' bleeped out. I thought it was funny. Fuck you.

They Said It Couldn't Be Done

But tonight, I proved them wrong. Yes, I ate a meal consisting entirely of leftover stuffing. With ketchup on top. Oh, God, I think I'm gonna be sick.



EDIT: I think I'm either going to have a heart attack or my chest will burst open and a little tap dancing alien will come out.

I Always Felt Bad For Thanksgiving

It feels like people have Halloween and just jump straight on to Christmas. I mean, the day after Thanksgiving, it's the biggest shopping day of the year. Why is it the biggest shopping day of the year? Everyone is preping for Christmas. And there are songs and movies made for Christmas, to go along side all of the Christmas-special episodes of T.V. shows. What does Thanksgiving get? A parade and a fucking dog show. Who watches dog shows in the first place, besides people who participate in them? Anyways, I thought I'd rant for no reason and with very limited support for my bitching.




Oh, yeah, my little sister got her first call from a boy in her class. No, not a 'What's our homework?' call. A 'You're really pretty' call. Needless to say, I gave him an interview and found that he isn't good enough for my baby sister. Actually, I wasn't really paying attention. The conversation got boring, so I told him he failed the test and that he'd have to find another girl. In fact, IM him at LittleRhino14 and tell him he's not good enough for Madeline. And remind him frequently.




What? She's on the phone with him right now? Not if I can help it.

Clark Howard is a stingy bastard.

Clark Howard, for those of you lucky enough to not know about this shithead, is a guy on an Atlanta news show that always has tips to help stingy penny-pincher and frugal pig fuckers, among others, save money. Today, his annual "How To Scam Your Kids This Holiday Season" show aired. At the end, he said that out of the top ten rated toys, most were store brand and that kids do not care about the brand of the toy, just that they get the toy. That's true... but only when your testing group is from the ghetto and that's what they were going to get anyways. Most kids do care about the brand of the toy. It's no wonder his children hate him. I would too if he admited on television that he never buys name brand stuff for his kids just to save the extra buck. The bastard's got plenty of dough yet still shops at the fucking dollar tree. What a piece of dog shit on the shoe of life. The K-Mart brand shoe of life.






That he got used at a thrift shop.


And yes, there is another new post under this, though it won't be new after a while. But, hey, a double update day isn't half bad.


POST EDITED FOR SHITTY-NESS. Also, my mom said that ol' Clark has at least $1,ooo,ooo, which makes me hate him even more. He also announced on the radio that he gets his teenager daughter's back to school clothes at a thrift shop. Some one please hit this man with a bus, and fast.

Know what's kinda stupid? All of the local radio stations have a bunch these of these 'just music' hours. For those of you who are stupid dumbasses, that means that they don't play comercials. That does NOT include promos constantly being aired in between songs reminding you that they aren't playing comercials and thus are the best radio station ever. What apparently didn't occur to the radio station execs is that it's not the fact that the commercials are advertising that bothers people so much as it is the fact the the commercials interrupt the music-playing. SIRIUS radio seems to do that alot to. "This is SIRIUS radio. We don't play commercials. No commercials. None. At all. Let me keep goingon about this for 30 more seconds, which basically means that I'm advertising something to you that you've already got." Know what else I heard? TiVo is now going to make it so that you can't avoid commercials. Wasn't that the point of Tivo in the first place? So you could watch something aftef it came on and without any interuptions? I mean, you pay to use it, and they're still making you sit through ads, which are responsible for making the basic channels free in the first place.


But watching Final Destination 2 will make it aaaaaaaaaall better.

The Door Isn't Closed For A Reason, Asshole

You may or may not, depending on whether or not you obsess over this site, remember a post a long time ago about my siblings always trying to break into my room. Well, on Monday, one of those morons decided they wanted to get on my computer. I had locked the door because my brother kept pushing it open and I could hear one of them trying to unlock the door, so I went to sit next to the door to keep him/her out. Then the other two came. All three of them were pushing on my door and trying to unlock. To make a long, stupid, boring story short, they broke the door. It no longer closes. Well, FUCK BEANS. I ask my dad if I could buy a dead bolt for my door (with my own money), but he said no. It's great to hear that my parents are so concerned about the fact that my three siblings are constantly ganging up on me. I know that sounds incredibly whiny, but these kids are really starting to piss me off. When the door is(was) closed or locked, it means(meant) "STAY THE FUCK AWAY". Now they come in, watch my T.V. and get on my computer as they please. And considering that this week is Thanksgiving, the Three Stooges will always be there to PISS ME OFF. Looks like a fun week ahead of me.


Now I sit here waiting until noon for Night of the Living Dead to come on on some channel I have never heard of before.

Cosgrove and another kid got in a fight.
Over a paper mache pig.
Cosgrove gave the kid a bloody nose.
A kick in the nuts, too.
What a bunch of fucking dumbasses.

A poem by me.

It was the worst fight ever. Everyone was crowded around them at the Cove. People (really just me) were cheering, shouting and doing whatever they (I) could to further promote the fight. Cosgrove was all, "You pussy. Me better than you cause me wrestler." The other kid was like, "Confucius say, 'If I don't fight, he does not win.'" A glass cup was broken, a goth/punk/emo/whatever chick was pushed down and the other kid ACCEPTED his ass kicking. The pre- and post-fight quotes uttered by the Cos' and the other kid were hilarious. Basically, they both thought they won when neither did.






In other news, I found this little ball thingy that you can take apart into two pieces and they can be used like the coconuts in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. So I ran around yesterday after exams, you guessed it, galloping like a horse with my fake coconuts. And aparently, alot more kids than I had once thought have seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

I was just reading over some of my first posts when I realized just how stupid they were. Then I got to thinking: What if I went back and Lucas'd it, and re-wrote all of those old posts and made them funny? I mean, the old posts were awful, but if I had readers, they'd be all, "What the fuck were you thinking?" And I'd be like, "This isn't a metaphor to the Star Wars series." But still, wait, what?




My DVD collection is now at 70. As of last Saturday, this was my DVD collection. Then my dad and I traded in Tomb Raider 2 and the Matrix Revolutions at Blockbuster and got the Lost Boys and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, neither of which I had seen before, both of which turned out OK. Yesterday, we went again and they finally had the Punisher used. I was about to get that and the Michael Moore movie when, lo and behold, I saw at my feet THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. IT WAS THE ONLY ONE THERE. THANK GOD SOME POOR SAP HAS SHITTY TASTE IN MOVIES AND TRADED IN A BRAND NEW COPY.


EDIT: I just remembered that my dad borrowed Office Space, so the official count is 71. Hooray.


My Spanish teacher is a bastard. You see, I go to a private school, and my parents pay for him to teach me and prepare me for tests and exams DURING CLASS. But no, class time is reserved for soap-box speaches on how Bush is killing the enviroment. You see, we have to come to an exam review session on Sunday afternoon if we want to do well. Well I've got news for that blubbering fat piece of shit: I live an hour away from school, so a 2 hour review session in the middle of Sunday afternoon will completely spend my day. God, how I loathe that man.

Thought you kids might like to now that I now have an actual picture of me posted in my profile. Hopefully I'll update this weekend(and that's fo' real-real, not fo' play-play).

I seriously think aliens are abducting me on a regular basis

That or I cut my bruise my self in my sleep. Or some crazed midget dressed as a clown hiding in my room has been doing it. But I think I would have smelt him by now, so I can rule that idea out.

Last night I had a great dream. I was cut on the face and the scar was huge. People everywhere were like, "That cut is AWESOME." And so the Clive Dangerously face scar became the newest fad and I was popular. Of course I woke disappointed, with no facial scar the size of... something... big and still no popularity.

Oh yeah, my ex-friends noticed the fact that I was counter-ignoring them. Well look who came crawling back. FUCKERS.

Oh, and one more thing. I bought a box of White Castle burgers last night at the grocery store. The hot cashier girl was impressed. She used to live in South Dakota where White Castle burgers were like gold or porn or crack, but no one likes them here, despite the fact that they are Krystal burgers but better and with a different name. The burgers were sooooo good. I might go make some more and sell my siblings for to purchase more burgers.

Goal for this next week: learn how to travel through the internet to strangle people.

I swear if I see someone type something like *giggles* or :::dodges flying objects::: one more time I will fucking snap.

Today was the best day ever. Spanish report? Now due Monday. Bio test? Moved to Tuesday. History paper? 95. Half of my classes today? Missed to due a not-quite-as-negative-as-usual dentist visit. Thrown out of the library? Yes*. So fuck all of you trying to bring me down. That would include the nerd group at school, who seem to think that because they play Dance Dance Revolution, hang out with older nerds and are in the Steel Drum Band they are automatically cool. Guess what kids? That doesn't change the fact that YOU'RE FUCKING NERDS. Too cool for me, eh? It would seem to be the opposite. I don't play video games at all and I am sure as hell not a band geek, so why am I being shunned by the bottom of the social barrel? FUCK THEM.

Fuck diddly fuck fuck.
Fuck-a-doodle-doo.


At least I'll have a girlfriend before they... do something... nerdy, I guess.

*THERE IS NO FUN ALLOWED IN THE LIBRARY. LAUGHTER=BANISHMENT. JOY=SEVERE CAPITAL PUNISHMENT.

I got in a fight with the 'Cos tuh-day. No, not everyone's favorite Jell-O salesman, but everyone's least favorite COSGROVE. One could say he beat the ever-living shit out of me. But I kept egging him on anyways. He was all, "I'll punch you in the face!" And he hit me in the leg, to which I replied, "You missed, asshole." So he hit me again. In the arm. I reminded him that my arm is NOT my face, and I was hit again and again and again. But never in the face. Once in the stomach, but never in the face. Dumbass. And he poured coffee on me. This was all because I stole his hat. It was a shitty hat anyways (He's one of them lobotmized Georgia "Dawg" fans).



EDIT: And I suppose it never occured to them that I no longer care about their problems.