A Weekend With The Baptists

Asteroid Jesus
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

Last weekend, I left school early and jumped onto the covered wagon with my mom and sister up to North Carolina. What the fuck is in North Carolina, and why am I there all the time? Well, first of all, the worst part of North Carolina is... Well, I'd guess it's as bad as the worst part of Georgia, and Atlanta is great, but by-and-large, North Carolina's better. Secondly, fuck you.

Well, my mom is really involved with the alumni of the camp she went to/worked at when she was a kid, and so every summer she goes up to help clean up before it opens for the season. I regularly tag along.

...They're Baptists. I'm not. Like, I'm REALLY not. I'm everything the Baptists aren't. So basically, it's an exercise in me not sayign anything for a weekend. I mean, they think "damn" is a bad work if God isn't damning something to hell, and for me, not swearing is not speaking. But it's interesting because it shows that if I ever had to work at like an old folks home or something, I could censor the swearing. And it humanizes the bapists. If I didn't do this, in my mind, they'd just be some ominous organization that I blame everything on. And I usually knock a book or two out. Speaking of which, I was really unimpressed with the most recent Crichton book. It was quite unremarkable.

You may wondering, "What the fuck is an Asteroid Jesus?" Well, I had a dream last Thursday. It was of a man (Jesus) riding an asteroid (Asteroid Jesus) through space. Then, later in the week, I had a dream in math class the he destroyed the world by flying the asteroids through the ozone layer (check the flickr/facebook).

I'm a disturbed young man. I oughta write this shit down.

I Have Blue Hair

Currently Listening To: Strange Education by the Cinematics

That's right. My hair=half blue. It was going to be on the front, but as Bonnie was testing out colors (on the back), it was decided to just do it all there. I think I like it better on the back. That made it easier to hide from my mother, whom I never realized how much I live in fear of. I had to borrow a hat to wear home to cover it up. She asked why I was wearing a hat (adding that she'd never seen me in a ball cap before) and I told her I wanted to try out being a hat person. I have no idea why she bought it, or why she pretended to buy it (more likely). She probably saw a patch of blue underneath and just decided to let it go. IT's not the first time I've come home covered in ink.

And I'm still stuck on Graduation. I mean, he's going to be gone. He's leaving. After that, he will officially not live at our house any more. GAHFuck. Emo McAngst. I guess I'll just have to take a few road trips, chaknow? After all, it's always been my ambition to be an engineer, right? Especially an engineer who got his degree in Virginia.

Currently Listening To: On Call by Kings of Leon
He's really leaving. Damnit.

I thought I could do it, but I'm starting to doubt that. A lot. He's gonna leave, and we'll see him on Christmas and that's it. And then he'll come back with a wedding date five years later...

My life as I know it ends in its entirety in August.

What's worse is that in a year, I'll be leaving.



But dad's in Budapest. How exciting is that? I sent him with a camera (not mine, so I guess I didn't really send it with him) and orders to bring me some foreign currency. He'll be back on Saturday.

Business? I think not. SKETCH.

I CAN'T BREATHE

Currently Listening To: Liquorice Bloosports by Gay Against You (my new favorite band... Sorry Klaxons)
Nonono, not in the emo, my-emotions-are-suffocating-me manner of speaking, but the I-have-allergies-and-even-if-I-liked-nature-I-don't-think-it-would-be-worth-this-to-see-some-flowers way. Fuck this shit. I mean, during the AP Spanish exam today, I kept sneezing and sneezing and I didn't have any tissue so I had to sacrifice useo f my left hand and that's just not very pleasant. Gross, cha'know?

And then not too long ago I was constantly sneezing for at least thirty seconds. Allergies are bullshit. Who the hell thought that was a good idea?

And an even better story: there's a speaking section on the Spanish exam. This requires you to speak into a tape recorder based on these campy little prompts. I have no idea

• Where they buy tape recorders.
• Why they choose to use them rather than a more advanced form of technology.
• How to work one.

This last one is the central plot of my funny story. After the dialogue, the ominous voice on the tape told me to pause and wait for further instruction. I suppose he said to un-pause and I just didn't hear so I forgot all about it. Several minutes later, after babbling on and on in Spanish about some stupid, irrelevant topic, he tells me I'm done. Great. I let go of the 'record' button, but it doesn't seem to do anything.

It had been paused the entire time. Not a single word got recorded. Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

I work rearry hard to make up great prans,
but nobody ristens, no one understands...

Driving

Currently Listening To: Chinaberry Tree by Mew
Driving is looking pretty good right now.

I rode the bus every single day this week.

Sweatwagon.

Misery.

The stress of driving and putting your life in the hands of the children in the Japanese sweatshop who built the car is nothing compared to listening to Gretchen Wilson while sticking to your seat.

I've found something worse than death.