The Amazing Adventures of Me This Past Weekend

Currently Listening To: Tick Tick Boom by the Hives
So this weekend was interesting.

Scratch that. "It was interesting" is wrong. "Of interest" would be better, because "It was interesting" makes it sound like something bad happened.

Maybe if I stopped trying to describe it through vagueries and instead actually said what happened?

Okay. Friday night. Dane, this guy, that guy, those guys and those girls go to see Cloverfield. For those of you keeping score, that's my third time seeing that movie in theaters, and my fifth movie of 2008. Off to a healthy start. Anyways, it's amazing. We go to Sonic afterwards and I accost many a Sonic employee about how great Cloverfield is, stand on the tables whilst shouting Cloverfield repeatedly and running around while shouting Cloverfield, also repeatedly.

I tend to embarrass my friends a fair bit when we go out.

I guess that's not terribly interesting. What is interesting, you ask? Adrienne, Jenn and I were hiding from Dane (I am a senior and still play a nice game of hide and seek). This was later on Friday night, about 10:30. Adrienne and Jenn run into the girls bathroom. I follow them (a decision I was later asked to defend by a certain school administrator... He told me to not go in the girls' bathroom any more). So we're standing there in the dark in this bathroom at school at almost-eleven on a Friday night. We stand there, in said bathroom, for a few minutes. Hey, maybe a little light action? Sure, lights on. Hey, why not go into the stalls? Sure, back into the stalls--HEY, what are neatly folded jeans doing on the ground at the back wall? Hey, let's get out of here--OH SHIT is that a person in there? Yes, that is a person; a guy, completely naked in curled up in a ball on the toilet in the girls' room.

Naturally, we left. I mean, I don't know why he was sitting there curled up in a ball naked in the dark in the girls room, but at the time, I was less worried about the (I'm sure) fascinating story behind that and more concerned about being raped with a gun. So we left, but waited around outside to see who it was. We ran when the door actually opened, and Dane claims to have seen two fully clothed people walk out, but that doesn't change the fact that we saw one naked one in there.

My theories?

• It was a body snatcher, who proceeded to kill Dane and take over his identity, hence why Dane was so adamant about what he saw.
• It was a Terminator, which explains the nudity. It 'landed' in the girls' room, killing the girl crying her eyes out inside. The Terminator tried to put on her clothes as a disguise, but they didn't fit, so he folded them neatly and waited for someone else to come. If he's the Robert Patrick/T2 type, he possibly could have, again, killed Dane and taken his place.
• It was some child who just had a horrible and traumatizing experience and just needed someone to talk to, and we're horrible people for leaving him in there. And he killed Dane and took his identity.

Don't ask me why, but I think something happened to Dane up there. I mean, there was a considerable gap in time between us leaving and him meeting up with us.

Please note that that story, save for the aliens/robots/murder, is 100% true.

Seriously.

I also saw Atonement last night with Claire, which was AMAZING, as well as my sixth movie this calendar year. Go see that movie NOW.

Astonishing!

Whiners, Diners, Shriners

Currently Watching: The Daily Show
Some people have a lot of nerve. Actually, most people have lots of nerves. Apparently, we're born with them! Surprise, surprise. But some people have even more nerve. So much so, that they don't do schoolwork. Well, often times, neither do I. But these people always have some excuse up their sleeves. Oh, I had such and such commitment.

Er... That vague-ery seems to have been so vague that I now have no other ones. I mean, "commitments" are really their only excuses, but they've got wide ranges.

And I'm sick of it.

I mean, do you homework, or don't. I don't want to hear about you doing this or you doing that. If I do my homework, I get a good grade. If I don't, I'm fucked. Sure, I feel pissed off when I don't have it, but I won't put up a fight. These kids? They'll whine all class long. Listen, I know we've all got our shit. Some more than others. But you signed up for that shit, knowing the shit would shit all over your other shit. So drop that shit, cause I'm tired of your... shit.

Shit.

I really want to go back to that diner we went to after the Hot Hot Heat/Louis XIV concert. I had a Greek omelet, and it was amazing. I would do anything for another.

Well, not anything. But I'd really like one.

Sorry, no Shriners.

Dream Journal Part Infinity

Currently Listening To: You Owe Me An IOU by Hot Hot Heat
So I had another bizarro dream last night.

One of my teachers came to live at my house. It was fine, because she happens to be a likable, human-ish teacher (if that is even possible). But then one day, we're sitting at the dinner table, and she suddenly puts some lines of coke on the table. But the coke isn't white; it's that almost-black shade of gray, so it looks like gunpowder. In fact, it might have been gun powder. And she didn't seem to mind, nor did my dream brother, who looked nothing like anyone in our family and was my age. And we lived in an apartment. In fact, it was the apartment my brother took me to when I visited him at school. So I guess you could say we were living in a flop house.

That's pretty much it.

I've had dreams in the past, too. Read about them. I promise you might not be disappointed.

Hey, I saw a concert on Friday. Louis XIV, Hot Hot Heat, and Editors. SWEET. We were front row (general admission+getting there early=YES!), so I pretty much was closer to Steve Bays and Tom Smith than I am to my math teacher on a daily basis.

And my dream of seeing Juno was dashed yet again. Adrienne and I left school early on Thursday and drove 30 (thirty) (!) minutes to go see it at the nearest theater at the 3:15 showing. The 3:15 showing that was listed on their website. As in, the theater's website. Let me say that another time. The theater's website said 3:15 PM on Thursday. We get there. At 3:15. The doors are locked. Excuse me? We knock on the glass. After a while, a theater employee shows up and... Long story short, they don't show movies before four on school days. So... They're showing it at four, right? WRONG. In two hours, so we can't go. Bitches.

And in other news, I'm watching the Terminator show on FOX right now, and they've got a commercial for the movie 10000BC. That's funny; I didn't think the good people at FOX believed the earth was that old.

Can We Get This Straight?

Currently Watching: South Park
I DO NOT RUN ON DUNKIN'.

The commercial says, "America runs on Dunkin' Donuts." No. Wrong. Do you know who eats donuts? Fat people. But not me. So, fat people, excluding me. Anyways. Donuts. Fat people. Ever see a fat person run? No. They can't. And they've got a stick figure on their little logo. Seriously? Fat people eat donuts, and conversely, donuts make you fat. Instead, they should have a big bubble figure waddling while reaching (and NOT GETTING, because fat people have been statistically shown to never reach their dreams) for a donut.


AND THAT IS NOT THE PROPER SPELLING. IT IS DOUGHNUT. I don't care what you say about dictionary this, widely-accepted that. It's doughnut. It's through, not thru. Night, not nite.

And you know what's worse? Futurama, probably my favorite show except for Heroes and Big Love and South Park and the Simpsons, is now on Comedy Central. This should be great, right? RIGHT? They're known for playing the same ten episodes of funny syndicated shows ad nauseum, which is great. Unfortunately, it isn't funny any more.

I can't explain why. I don't know what's the reason. It's the same episodes (though apparently there are new episodes), but it just isn't funny any more.

Fuck you, Comedy Central.

I told Dane, and he asked an interesting question: If South Park was shown on Adult Swim rather than Comedy Central, would it be a lot funnier?

The answer? Yes.

Why? Ted Turner.

.

..

.

I kid.

I kid.

It Is 2008

Currently Listening To: Ma'am, Trim Your Mustache by My Communist Penpal
I was driving to the mall (of all places) today when I suddenly realized, "It's 2008." While this may seem obvious to most, and therefore moronic on my part, it's not the changing of the calendar date that caught me off guard. It's the fact that it is now January 2008.

I graduate in May 2008. Let's do some math: January is the first (1) month. May is the fifth (5). 5-1=4 (we'll round up since I graduate at the end of May). FIVE months until I graduate.

NOT ready for this.

But you know what I am ready for? SEEING JUNO NEXT WEEK! WOOO!

I'm excited. Can you tell?

ANNNND to make this mindless bit of daily minutia a bit more tolerable, some bitchin'.

First, let me propose my new idea, which I plan on sending a letter to some sort of linguistic authority concerning: Get rid of participles, at least in their current form. I came to the conclusion that this change had to be made when I used the word "fucking" in such a context. I think I said something about hating this fucking ______ (I'm drawing blanks, bear with me). Someone made a joke about it being a ______, but with fucking. This really, REALLY pissed me off. BUT, this confusion could be avoided if there was a new part of speech, wherein I would have said "I hate this fucken _____". Replacing "ing" with "en". It's brilliant. Nay, I am brilliant. Just send me a check for a billion dollars now, Oxford University.

It was a really piss-poor joke, I swear, thus warranting a new part of speech.

Guess you had to be there.

And, in tin-foil hat news, colleges supposedly look at applicants web activities? I must look like a fucken prat.

And then there's this ID at the theater nonsense. Last week, Bob didn't have his (the guy just had surgery, for God's sake) and they weren't going to let him in. I tried to bail him out, telling the ticket-taker, "Oh, well he's my older brother" (I had an ID). Then my brother pulled some Jedi mind trick shit and pointed at his Virginia Tech hoodie, stared the guy in the eye and said, "I'm in college." It worked.

Then I went with Dane tonight to see Walk Hard. He has some free pass deal, so we go a fair bit. Anyways, I left my wallet at home (I just had surgery, for God's sake*), and the dude at the ticket counter gave me a really hard time about it. But being the brilliant masterminds that we are, we got tickets to the Golden Polar Bear Fight, but instead of seeing that, we walked into Walk Hard. We are so smart. We should tell other people about our little trick. In the future, other kids could use it instead of the ol' buying tickets to movies they don't want to see and then seeing aforementioned movie they don't want to see.

*Well, not really. I'm just forgetful.