Greatest Foes Of All Time

Currently Listening To: Tony the Beat by the SoundsOVER AND OVER AGAIN
My dad, in his infinite fortune cookie-like wisdom, has always advised me against having enemies. I love my dad, but sometimes I refuse to take his advice, in this case because sometimes I love the feeling of antagonizing and being antagonized by these people.

Anyways, when I was younger, I used to think about how I could turn my personal, not-terribly-eventful life into a great epic tale. Basically, this is done by imagining anyone who has ever been some sort of foe into a videogame boss-type character.

• The number one person, since I first envisioned this epic tale, was BOB. Who is BOB? BOB was my bus driver in sixth and seventh grade. Any story I told those two years somehow involved BOB. Whether he was crashing the bus, which in turn caused some sort of bizarre seatbelt injury to me that potentially could have killed me (I told this one a lot; "I'm going to die before I'm 21!"), or he was telling the principal Douglas had his head out the bus window (which he never did; his head was in the aisle, which BOB said violated some unwritten rule), or he was accusing people (me) of making farm animal noises (which isn't against any rule, even though I wasn't doing it), or telling people not to tap their cans (because he thinks it's the bus), BOB always was up to something. For this, he tops my list.
• Number two is more recent, and probably would get off knowing he made 'the list': Chad. I really have nothing but contempt for him. The story with him is more blurry than BOB's. I couldn't really tell you the first time I met him. I had heard countless stories from plenty of sources about his nefarious deeds, but hadn't experienced anything myself. There was one incident in which I think I met him, but from what he later told me, that wouldn't make sense that he was there. The earliest time I know for a fact I encountered him, he was a total douche. Claire and I were sitting together at the musical, and he came up, completely ignoring His Royal Highness, and began talking to her. I took great offense to this (he didn't even bother to introduce himself) and took it upon myself to return the favor. Clint and I made a xanga about him, which he responded to by threatening to call the school (looking back, it was really a weak response, but I fell for it, all bullshit aside). I ignored him for a decent period of time, until he somehow started talking to me again, completely ignoring what had happened six months before. I pissed him off, which resulted in another period of time in which I recieved more than a thousand garbage text messages (in a petty attempt to flood my inbox and raise my bill) and several tearful voicemails. Fortunately, I'm an insensitive bastard, so this pandering had no effect--at all--on me. And he keyed Matt's car, had someone videotape him doing it, and danced around like a little bitch while doing it. That's all the reason I really need.
• Third is Zach. He held my chemistry book hostage for a good six months. The entire time, it was ten feet away and I had no idea.
• Fourth is Dekker, the night DJ on 99x. One time he was taking requests and this one kid wanted Motion City Soundtrack, but didn't know the name of the song, so he made him sing it. The kid did--poorly--and then Dekker didn't play it. I called in and told Dekker he was an asshole, he should go fuck himself and then he should do the world a favor and jump in front of a fucking bus. He said some other stuff I didn't really listen to, and then I hung up.
• Fifth is Cosgrove. I have talked about him plenty; there's really no need to say anything else. Maybe an origin? First month or so of school in freshman year, we talked about Eurotrip nonstop on the bus. I said my favorite scene was the nude beach (you can't deny how disgustingly funny it is) and he said "You would like that scene, faggot." Actually, that wasn't it. It was that summer, when he was part of the football carpool. I decided to tag along to see if he was REALLY that big of a d-bag, and he was. He said his dad was a pilot for a certain large corporation, and that his dad flew around the executive assholes. My dad works for a certain large corporation, where he is an executive. Put two and two together.

That's pretty much it. Go to bed.

FDA: Cloned livestock is safe to eat

Currently Listening To: lol lyk al teh muzic i got fer crismas hahaha

Here It Goes Again by OK Go
THANK GOD. I've been waiting since I first heard about Dolly the sheep to see if we can eat them. I'll celebrate by buying a pig, cloning it five times, and then eating SIX PIGS. In fact, I'll just take one bite and toss it in the bin, because it was a cloned pig and cloned pigs have no souls and can't be wasted.

I have this image in my head of a bunch of scientists sitting around a table with a piece of meat in the middle aand they're all saying "I don't want to eat it" and then one guy says, "FUCK IT, I'LL EAT ANYTHING!" and he just chows down. After a few moments of tense silence, he gives them the thumbs up. The scientists run screaming into the streets. "CLONES ARE SAFE TO EAT!" And then banners are unfurled spreading the good news as CiCi the cat is torn apart and thrown on to a barbeque.

So I just read that Sadaam Hussein could die any day now. I knew they had to hang him before he turned 70, but I didn't know that could be like THIS WEEK. I'm curious to see if it will still be televised. I suppose everyone, no matter how evil, deserves do die with dignity, and if they do make it into a PayPerView event, people will be pissed and some shit will be blown up. I'm gonna go ahead and say... DON'T DO IT.

I'm now listening to this groovy band Mew again. Wowie zowie, this music is trippy.

So my horoscope today told me not to buy any new clothes or get a haircut, because my ability to sense what other people want is faulty. This made me laugh, because two days ago, I bought four shirts (with my own money, on clearance, at the Gap) and got a haircut, and shaved my very-thick peach fuzz. I need to find whoever does the 'scopes for the AJC and ask them where they were on the morning of the 26th and they didn't stop me. I also bought the translation of Night Watch at Barnes and Noble. That's right. I bought something at Barnes and Noble. That's like grounds for expulsion from my school.

I got invited to this class party on New Years, and I'm seriously debating whether or not I should go. It will probably be lame, but it's not like I'll be doing anything better that night.

Whorlandra!

Whorlandra!
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

It recently occured to me that I NEVER uploaded my favorite picture, which is of me and my gurl Whorlandra. We hooked up at American Apparel, which is this really slutty type store for people of all persuasions. I got an STD just by darkening the doorway. And the funny thing about the store is that you pay the same as a place like AE or GAP or something, but you don't pay for the logo like in those places; instead you're paying to NOT have a logo on your shirt, so you're like an anti-corporation capitalist or something.

Movie Snobbery 2 Double-Odd 6

Currently Watching: Bubble Boy
EDIT: This was first typed in early December, but I've been adding to it little-by-little ever since. I dated it as the 31st so it'll be on top until 2007. Check below it for new posts.
EDITEDIT: 12/19- Added a new post below, and added Apocalypto to the list.
12/20-'Nother new post down below.
12/27or28- Taking this down from the top.

These are the movies I saw in theaters this year:

1. The Ringer I think this movie could stand to grow some balls. Rather than dancing around the fine line of decency, try telling a joke instead of being completely neutral and PC. That worked well for Stuck on You and Shallow Hal.
2. Grandma's Boy Rarely do I laugh this much in a movie. Probably the best time I had at a movie in a long time, too.
3. Underworld: Evolution The sheer badassery depicted in this movie is astounding.
4. When A Stranger Calls Didn't bring a whole lot new to the genre, like Scream or others like it, but still a whole lot of fun.
5. When A Stranger Calls (Again) Really my first experience with not watching all of the movie, rather I spent some time interacting with the audience. There was a deafening silence throughout the movie, so with about 20 minutes left to go, I screamed very, very loudly and that got people moving. I also threw some popcorn at people and just had an all-around good time.
6. Final Destination 3 Another experience with the audience making the movie. I'm not sure if anyone else has every heard the stereotype of black people talking to movie screens, but I defy anyone to doubt it after seeing a late show with a large group of them. I hate to sound like some Michael Richards piece of shit, but the "Oh snap!"s really made me love the movie so much more. Oh, and teenagers having their shit ruined by various pieces of heavy-duty machinery.
7. 16 Blocks One of the more forgettable movies I saw this year. Nay, the most forgettable movie I've seen in ages. I really only remember hating Mos Def and the bus scene.
8. V for Vendetta One of my favorite movies ever. Just everything about it is perfection.
9. Mission Impossible 3 A step up from the mass confusion of the first one and the slow-motion identity swapping nightmare known as the second one. And the MacGuffin around which the plot revolved was awesome. Just goes to show that over-the-top evil schemes don't make a movie.
10. X-Men: The Last Stand A good movie, but not a satisfying end to the series. No, I'm not an expert at comic books, but it's a movie, regardless of the source material. "It's a comicbook, what did you expect?" is no excuse for having twice as many characters as possible. You can't please all of the comic fans, so doubt try to squeeze everyone's favorite character in. And why the fuck wasn't there more Colossus? He's awesome. It was almost an hour shorter than the second one, why not have an additional hour of heavy metal Russian?
11. Thank You For Smoking Absolutely hysterical. Easily beats out movies like Anchorman in terms of quotability. "How about you, Nick, are you a tit man?" "Don't answer that, that's a trap."
12. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift Not having seen the first two, I had literally zero expectations going into the movie. For all I know, it was complete shit in terms of the first and second, I just saw lots of explosions and wreckage, and that's all I need.
13. Click A depressing Adam Sandler movie? No thanks.
14. Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest Good God, this movie pissed me off. Two and a half hours, and the end leaves you feeling like you've gone nowhere. And why is that whiny-ass bitch Orlando Bloom still on board. "Wah wah, my dad was a pirate and I love this hot chick. I wish I had a nutsack." Shut the fuck up, kid.
15. You, Me and Dupree Pretty funny. Not on the same level as some of the other comedies I saw this year, but perfectly acceptable considering some of the mediocre ones I've seen.
16. Clerks II Kevin Smith is absofuckinglutely brilliant. I was not disappointed at all. "PORCH MONKEY 4 LIFE" "It's okay, we're taking it back."
17. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby I know this isn't Will Ferrell's fault, but I would have liked it more if the rednecks around here realized they were the ones being made fun of. Other than that, it was funny, but not nearly as quotable as Anchorman. I'd say quotability can make or break a movie for me, and the lack of it made it fairly forgettable.
18. Snakes on a Plane The truly sad part of this movie's short shelf life was that so many people wrote it off from the start as trash and had no interest in seeing it. So much better than expected, which was likely its problem.
19. Crank I've never seen someone cram so much stuff into such a short running time. Sex, drugs, violence... EVERYTHING. And quit bringing your fucking babies and old people into R-rated movies. I don't want to think about the minds being blown and hopes/dreams/fears being decimated while being rocked
20. Little Miss Sunshine I came to realize when leaving the theater that it wasn't nearly as funny as I think it was. Basically, I laughed during several scenes not intended to be humorous. I'd like to apologize to the people in the row ahead of us for being good sports about it, along with the other people in my group.
21. Man of the Year I saw a review for this on IMDb entitled ""Man of the Year" is a very good political thriller/comedy that will suffer at the box office because of its misleading marketing campaign." That sums it up entirely. Thanks once more to the internet for providing me an opinion.
22. The Departed As much as I enjoyed this movie, I have no idea what happened in it. It wasn't confusing so much as it was after midnight and I fell asleep a few times. I woke up and there were just a bunch of dead folk and I was quite confused.
23. Borat The sheer brilliance of this film is so intense that by merely thinking about it, I am throwing dirt on it. That's right; Borat is so good that we shouldn't think about it. It's a miracle that CNN and the like didn't shit all over it and ruin its potential like they did Snake on Prane!
24. Casino Royale Let it be known, for the record, that I was never a Daniel Craig nay-sayer. I never saw him in anything until Bond, so I decided to let his performance in the movie speak for itself. I did, it did, Daniel Craig is wonderful, the movie was wonderful and everyone who ever thought he wasn't right for the role have become revisionist historians and try and make it seem as if they loved him from day one. I can only imagine how rough the torture scene was to film. Makes me sick just thinking about it.
25. Stranger than Fiction Assuming you're one of my two readers, you know how testosterone-filled I am. I swallow my gum instead of spitting it and I eat the entire nut, rather than wasting the shell. But this movie actually had me tear up. I cannot remember EVER being so moved by a film. I don't want to say anything to spoil it, but you absolutely have to see this, and if you don't enjoy it, like Andy, you are a piece of shit with no soul.
26. Apocalypto I definitely wanted to see this, but I'm not entirely sure what I was expecting. I'd never seen a subtitled movie in theaters before, because I'm just attention deficited like that. But what I got was an incredible, exciting and almost-moving movie about a man who would go to the edge of the earth and back in the name of love, pretty much like that awesome guy who walked sixteen muthaficking miles in the snow for his kin. The last half of the movie is so action-packed and quickly paced that you will literally drop a load in your drawers. I'll bet that's why that guy on the subway smelled so bad; he probably had just seen Apocalypto. And maybe that crazy lady had her brain scrambled by it.
27. The Good Shepherd This was one of those movies that was really interesting and fairly compelling, but I know I shouldn't have liked it. Why? Look at the movies I saw this year. For God's sake, I saw Snakes on a Plane. What the fuck was I doing in some Oscar-hopeful movie? What was anyone in the audience at my bumfuck movie doing there? All these questions, and more, will be answered in January, when PATHFINDER kicks ass into theaters.

Ellison: Lawmaker has 'a lot to learn about Islam'

Currently Listening To: A Dark Design by Mew
I am an Episcopalian, which means I am from a denomination of Christianity known for complaining about everything. Old people at our church completely personify the stereotype. Any step in a different direction is awful; basically, their ideal church would be composed of people who will all be dead in ten years.

Virgil Goode is to America--to all of humanity, even-- what old people are to my church. They completely stand in the way of progress. Anyone who associates 'different' with 'bad' is in the way of progress. In the article, a Jewish guy takes the same side as a Muslim guy. Can you say "lion sleeping with the lamb"? This shit doesn't happen every day. I would say, even if they were saying the sun isn't real, I would believe them simply because they both agree. And why the fuck does he think people want him to swear in on the Quran? One man wants himself to swear in on it. He doesn't want to change the law; he just doesn't belong to a faith based on the Bible. Why would he swear in on it? And what ever happened to "no law respecting any religion"? That pesky Constitution, always getting in the way of America and her glorious freedoms. Freedoms for people who have the same values as everyone else. And what kind of awful religion bases itself on forcing people to accept it's customs as a means of conversion? I mean, that's terrible. I would be so pissed if I had to swear in on a holy book I didn't believe in. Those Jews and Muslims are clearly trying to destroy us. By exercising "liberties" and "freedoms" they are jeopardizing the liberties and freedoms enjoyed by Americans. I wonder where Rep. Ellison is from? Probably some country where people DON'T value freedom.

Virgil Goode can suck a chalupa out of my ass from a straw for all I care (What a hottie!). He obviously doesn't mind shit in is mouth; he just has a habit of spewing it out and subjecting everyone else to the stench. I put the chalupa in because I can guarantee you he loves Taco Bell. He eats there on Mondays with his friends Manuel, Rosie O', Abbas, Steve Wu and Apu. He loves diversity.




In my ideal world, he would sit next to Bill O'Reilly on the rocket to the sun.

Freedom Tower takes root with steel beams and iron will

Currently Watching: Invincible
Can we please not call it that? Every time I hear it, I think about the kids one hundred years from now who talk about it. They say, "Hmmm, Freedom Tower, that was the one completed during Emperor O'Reilly's regime, right?" Really any surname fits there. It's the general regime thing that irks me; I'm just feeling anti-O'Reilly today. Thinking about it just makes me sick. Three thousand people dead and all we have to show for it is mindless propaganda. After hearing 'freedom' so many times, it begins to lose it's meaning. "FREEDOM as long as you have the same beliefs as us! FREEDOM as long as you have the same beliefs as us! FREEDOM as long as you have the same beliefs as us! FREEDOM as long as you have the same beliefs as us!"






When does it stop?

I Hate Everything

Currently Listening To: Don't Want To Stay by Rock Kills Kid
So this morning, as usual, I check CNN's site to see what kinds of fabolos things went down whilst I was asleep. Top story? Miss USA keeps her crown despite underage drinking record, or some bullshit to that extent. Even worse, the person threatening to take her crown was The Donald. That douchebag is so full of himself. This story somehow takes presedence over the current WAR GOING ON IN THE MIDDLE EAST. TWO MEN TRAPPED ATOP A MOUNTAIN, POTENTIALLY DEAD. CHILDREN ORPHANED IN NEW ORLEANS. A DISEASE OUTBREAK IN A HOSPITAL. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? At least Angelina Jolie's "Wah-wah, boo-hoo, paparazzi" routine was at the bottom of the top stories list. Shouldn't be on it at all, but the bottom is a start. Then again, it was probably number one at three this morning. Get your fucking priorities straight.

I am also really fucking tired of the whole "War on Christmas" schpiel (I know that's not how it's spelled; I put in my best effort; sue me). First of all, Christians have been dominant/the majority in America since Eurotrash started dropping Indians four hundred years ago. We are not under attack; there is not imminent destruction/doom of the Christian religion. The ACLU removing some creche sets from the town square is definitely overshadowed by any suffering or persecutions Christians recieved whilst the movement was in its infancy.
Second, "Happy Holidays" is only PC if you want it to be. Anyone who can count cane see that Christmas Eve and Christmas alone are two holidays, meaning plural, meaning "we need an s". Throw in Advent, Epiphany and anything else related to Christmas and you have... a holiday season. WOW. But I suppose you'd have to know ANYTHING about your own fucking religion to realize that you whiny bunch of motherfuckers.
Third, Christmas, despite what ToysRUs would have you believe, isn't the "big" holiday for Christians, or at least it shouldn't be. Despite how astounding a girl having a baby without any sort of sex is, it's irrelevant to the religion. Jesus could have just fallen from the skies; how he got here doesn't matter. What does matter is what HE did. Performing miracles and then dying on the cross. Of course, seeing as Easter isn't as present-intensive as Christmas, people tend to ignore it.
Fourth, FUCK YOU, BILL O'REILY. FUCK YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR. YOUR VIEWERS ARE MINDLESS DRONES WHO HANG ON YOUR EVERY WORD. YOU ARE EVERYTHING I HATE ABOUT WESTERN SOCIETY. THERE IS NO FUCKING WAR ON CHRISTMAS. WHY DON'T YOU GO SHIT ON SOME OTHER BASIC RIGHT GUARANTEED TO EVERYONE IN AMERICA. I REALLY FUCKING HATE YOU AND IF THE ONLY THING SIGNIFICANT IN MY LIFE TO EVER HAPPEN AGAIN WAS YOU MIRACULOUSLY READING THIS, I COULD DIE HAPPY.



So I had an awesome day yesterday. I went to work with my dad for half the day so I could meet up with Claire, Matt and Jackie for most of the day and then go see the Killers. I had a lot of fun, even if the Killers have a serious God Complex and their first song sounded like ABBA. I felt compelled to put this in here to negate the serious suburban teen angst I let out above. AND I got a Snakes On A Plane poster at the theater on Sunday. And I realized the best way to make people indiscriminantly not care what you have to say is to tell them that you enjoyed Snakes on a Plane.

Man of the Year

Man of the Year Edited
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

That'd be me!

Snow-Walker Even More Badass Than Previously Thought

Currently Listening To: Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham! (And if you take issue with that you ought to re-evaluate your position in life)
Sixteen miles. In the snow. After living in a wrecked car. For nine days. This is absolutely ridiculous. I feel bad for his family, considering they have lost their father, but at the same time I am envious of the sheer awesomeness of their father. If he had lived, he could have joined the likes or Aron Ralston, the dude who cut off his arm with a dulled knife after becoming trapped under a boulder. They could have been a Super Team. Not super team, as in "Lolz, deez guyz iz fabbo!" but "Wow, these guys are like superheroes."

I couldn't walk sixteen miles in general. But in the snow? I'd have been out by like mile two, if I lived that long.


Maybe I should explain the Wham!. At the Christmas dance, I, along with several unnamed others, sang it for karaoke. It was terrible. I mean, it was fun, but we were terrible. And so today during Physics, Andy and I sang it to Sweeners. He said it sounded like something sung by a girl, or maybe the cheerleaders. Augh!

Man of the Year

Currently Listening To: Special by Mew
I'd definitely vote for him, if such a vote were held. Ten miles in the snow after nine days of living in a car in a snow bank? That's bad ass. More than that, that's love. Compare that to people like Kid Rock, who dump their wives after they star in movies. Kid Rock would have shit his pants if this happened to him. But this guy gave up everything for his family. That's probably the most admirable thing possible.

I had an awesome time last night. I wrote a review of it for English ("This is my second Mistletoe Jam paper today!" Claire wrote one too), so I'll send that to myself and cross-post it later. MARTA is SMARTA, boat shoes & the wave and coat ladies. Oh, good times, good times. Oh, and I think I've gone deaf,

So I found this Mew band kind of by accident. You'd be suprised how often I can get into a song that I'd previously have ignored by waking up while it's playing on my iPod.

Mistletoe Jam Tomorrow

Currently Watching: Some lame courtroom drama
Tomorrow, Matt, Claire, my father and I are going tomorrow to see AFI, Jet, Ok Go and, until this weekend, the Killers at Phillips Arena. I'm so excited! It's my fourth concert, and the make-up Killers concert will be five.

I really can't wait until Christmas break. School hasn't been bad, but it's been school, which in and of itself is an undesirable situation to be in.

I've got a good rant for this weekend. A very paranoid rant. Be afraid.

Georgia

Currently Listening To: This Is Montreal by Matt Pond PA
Recently, I was thinking back to a conversation with my family, wherein it was concluded I am an awful person for not embracing my Southern-ness and the whole Southern culture. At the time, I couldn't think of a truly good reason why I didn't identify as a Southerner. But as I thought more and more about it, there are several reasons why:

• Gas holiday. After Katrina, Gov. Perdue cancelled school for most of Georgia for two days to ease the rising gas prices, apparently assuming that kids don't go outside when they get school off.
• Rebel flag. Pretty much everything about the flag debate reflects poorly on the P-Nut, P-Can State.
• Jennifer Wilbanks. The runaway bride, who blamed her "kidnapping" on a fictional white and Hispanic couple. The fact that the groom decided to continue their engagement only made things worse.
• Brian Nichols/Ashley Smith. Sure, people go on killing sprees a lot. Not a good thing, but doesn't make Georgia stand out from other states. What does? The media's worship of Ms. Smith, who sedated him by giving him meth. Normally, if the police knew you had meth, that would be very, very bad. But she stopped a killer with her meth, so she gets a book deal.
• Bobby Brown and Whitney's TV show. Doodie bubble.
• I'm realizing a lot of these aren't really Good Ol' Southern Boys, either. Case in point, my next examaple, Marcus Dixon. Accused of raping a 16 yearold, throwing away his scholarship options. Later turned out that her dad was involved in the Klan, and she may not have been raped. Made worse by Oprah making Rome, GA, look like a town with regular Klan marches.
• Kid who, last week, was tazed by a school security guard for beating up a girl. Classy.

So this is why I'm not proud to be from Georgia. That and the fact that being born isn't an achievment.

Site Counter

Currently Watching: Who Killed the Electric Car? (I'll soon be finding the answer!)
Yesterday I installed a site counter. Not entirely sure why; I've spent nearly 3 years not knowing who and how many visit my site. But I got one anyways. So I was looking on the site today when I saw where some of the viewers are being directed from. The fifth on the list... Someone who had searched the lyrics for that My Chemical Romance song, only to find my awesome rant. Mwahahahaha. Serves you right for listeing to that crap.

We started using Blockbuster Online this week. On Sunday, my dad and I were bombarded by this guy in the store with a laptop who was all, "YOU MUST SIGN UP IT'S GREAT LOL". So we did. What sold me was that you get a coupon for a free in-store rental with each online rental. Other than that, it works the same as netflix. So with that, the Dangerously family's adventure with Blockbuster movie pass ends. Goodbye, old friend. Maybe if you were a better deal, things could have worked out...

Exorcist Stairs

Exorcist Stairs
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

Yes, THAT was what I was talking about. In Georgetown, next to the Exxon and some shitty liquor store rest the Exorcist stairs, not far from where the real incident supposedly occured. For years I have sworn that I would get a picture, and I finally did it. Unfortunately, I was not thinking at the time and neglected to do a pose or something, like me falling backwards down the stairs or something. Oh well. There were some crew guys from Georgetown University running up and down, so maybe they would have trampled me had I sprawled out on the styahs.

Myspace Ad

Myspace Ad
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

Haven't given in to the myspace yet? THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE MISSING! Jealous? I'd think so! Every day, myspace users are subjected to countless ads JUST LIKE THIS ONE! What does that tell you about the average myspace user, and his or her percieved intelligence? Nothing. No, I don't mean it tell's us notihng, I mean, there is no intelligence in the average myspace user. They all think that if they do shave this man's back, they will then magically get a ringtone without filling out any surveys or recommending any friends. MORONS.

Fat-Ass Danish Servant from Hamlet's Time

Fat-Ass Danish Servan from Hamlet's Time
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

Another picture from the play, "Actor's Nightmare". I'm still that same character, but here he's playing a character from Hamlet. Playing someone acting poorly isn't terribly difficult. That didn't stop me from making it hard. This may have been the night when I blanked out, hence the look on my face. It's kind of funny talking about the play now, considering it took place more than a month ago, along with the foil picture. They were on my sister's camera, which isn't usually in my possesion. Also, I wasn't aware of their existance, which is, well, quite prohibitive. I found them while retrieving a picture several years in the making, which I will post... Eventually.

650th post, what what.

Snooty Gay Actor

Snooty Gay Actor
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

Picture from the play, "Actor's Nightmare", wherein I play a guy who thinks he's a lot better of an actor than he really is, which wasn't terrbily difficult.

Hand

Hand
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

Fun with Play-Doh. Rather, fun with cheap knockoff-of-Play-Doh-purchased-at-Wal-Mart. There's a good picture of Madeline with her entire hand covered, because she's short and can fit and entire jaro f the stuff around her outstretched hand.

Gregory Timkins

Gregory Timkins
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

This is my kind friend, Gregory Timkins. He is made of tin foil. He once was the lining in a plastic basket which carried my sandwich. Then I ate it, and he was left without a purpose, so I made him my new friend.
Wow, I have really bad teeth.

THERE HAS BIN A FAILURE ON TEH INTERNETS

Good time, good times.

I noticed that I hadn't posted in a good eon or so, so I posted. I'm in DC right now. Hoepfully tomorrow I will get a picture at a spot that holds a special place in my heart... It's next to an Exxon station. Exxon sounds like progress because nothing says hip, edging and "the future" like the letter X. Two in succession just take the cake.

I finished a book this week called Prayers for the Asssassin. It was pretty schwey. I found it marked down 80% at Barnes and Noble. It was about an alternat timeline scenario where America had another civil war following a mass conversion to Islam. There was this Zionist conspiracy, but of course, the question became "How deep does this conspiracy go?" and life changing secrets were discovered by all. Good times, good times. Now I've started on a Robert Ludlum book. Believe it or not, it involves... A government conspiracy. I'm a sucker for this shit.

New Idea For A Family Movie

Things that typically don't speak in movies speaking + an underdog/outcast/several saving the day and proving themselves to everyone else who doesn't normally speak + A-list star saturated cast - computer animation.

Crive Dangerousry's Guide to Music, 2006

Currently Listening To: Nausea by Beck (I'm just oozing with musical snobbish-ness!)
There's a lot of bad music out there these days, all seeking to be the worst of the worst. I'm here to save the day by telling you, the mindless sheep of Amurica, what to listen to. And if you don't, I will have my henchman Dario carve out your heart and force you to watch it beat for the last time. Then I will eat it.

1. That crappy Hinder song, Hinder: Wow, this song is pure crap. It's like a ripoff of, say, Nickelback, and they suck huge dill. When you rip off someone who sucks, you pretty much swallow. I wish you could hear me do the impression of the Hinder/Nickelback singer. According to me, it's fucking hysterical. And I'm not entirely sure why girls like this song. Sure, his devovtion to his chick is romantic, but his devotion to his official chick? Eh... And what makes these whiny teenage girls who have never experienced true romantic love think that they'll be the first girl?
2. Welcome to the Black Parade, My Chemical Romance: Where to start, where to start... How about the start of the song, undoubtedly the worst part. Okay, so we got this whiny guy crooning about his dad... They go to a parade... "Will you be the savior to the broken and damned (or something)?" and then he's talking to some chick... I really don't see how they all fit. They kind of forget about the parade. And why is dad talking to his obviously young boy about what he HAS to do after he dies? No wonder they're an emo band, which leads me to my second point; since when were emos "the broken, the beaten and the damned"? They're broken because they delight in their own pain, beaten because they suck and damned because they suck. The only salvation they need is abrick to the head and some intensive emo-lifestyle deprivation. Third of all, whatever happened to the parade? They talk about going to a parade and that's it. Why couldn't they have gone to a ballgame? A Broadway show? A donkey show? Was parade picked because "Black Parade" sounds deep and emotional? ...Oh. I see. He thinks he is Jesus. Can I crucify him?
3. SexyBack, Justin Timberlake: Thank you, Justin, for bringing sexy back. I was starting to seriously miss it.
4. London Bridge, Fergie: I'm doubtful as to whether or not someone actually wants to go down her Londy-Londy, wanna go down her Londy-Londy... I heard she was a meth head. Even if she's dunzo, still.
5. Chain Hang Low, Jibbs: I'm sorry, I can't type any more. Hearing tihs snog hsa gvien m,,,e a labatamy ../fgdfg/.,fgbh/,fgb

Buy this crap and you'll be the coolest of the cool, I promise!

Why is Heroes the Best Show Ever?

Recent studies cite the fact that the producers dip every reel of film from each day's shoot in a vat of pure liquid awesome.

Speaking of Heroes, it is a distinct possibility that I in fact have superpowers, and I'm not talking about my sex appeal. Today in English I moved something with my mind. Well, not really, but apparently I did, because Mr. Saunders pretty much blamed a clock with apparent sentimental value falling to its doom on me. So pretty much Esa and I are sitting there by the open door and the God-clock when it just kind of fell. I don't know what caused it to fall. I wasn't watching as it did; I didn't even notice it until it was on the ground, in pieces. I do know, however, that neither Esa nor I touched the filing cabinet and that the door was open so a gust of wind knocking it down is not completely outside the realm of possibility. Anyways, it falls, breaks, I don't respond pretty much at all. Then he goes and gets all immature about it. "Oh, don't worry, that totally didn't have any sentimental value at all. I've only had it for twenty years and it was only given to me by one of my favorite students..." YAWN. I suppose I would see where he was coming from if it wasn't tucked away over all by its lonesome behind a tub of chalk that gets less love than Tom Cruise.

What pisses me off most is that I didn't do anything and yet he gave me all this shit. Maybe I'm just blowing it out of proportion. Whatevskis. But THEN, to top it off, after he picked up the glass, he looked over my shoulder, saw that I had a Macbeth summary thing printed off and punched me in the back of the head. He was all, "Don't bring that, you need to bring the actual book. The plot doesn't matter!" completely overlooking the fact that my copy of Macbeth, which I actually have been reading, unlike everyone esle in that class, was right there. Gah.

I'm thinking of buying him a clock. But the catch will be, it's already broken. That would be a good'un. OR I could buy him a lawn gnome. Those are badass.

Things I Have Been Putting Off Doing For The Past Two Weeks:

My Spanish paper, due... tomorrow. I should get cracking.

Archaelogical Find In Our House Today

Currently Listening To: Gravity's Rainbow by Klaxons(Check it)
So, just now, some people were down heyah in the basement looking for a box when I decided to "help". When I say "help" I, of course, mean "be there to take cool things I come across" because isn't that why we have boxes of crap like that? Anyways, I found...
A paper shredder.


Yes, that's right. This is going to be fun.

That reminds me of when Matt, Claire and... Starla? and I went to Staples and they had paper shredders you could try out, and so of course we did. Then I took the shredded paper(There was a huge wastebin full of it.) and stuffed my jacket with it. If someone had decided to rob Staples, I could have stopped him because if he had shot me, the shreds would surely stop the bullet.

Oh, and by-the-way, you bastards fekkin' ate us out of seafood. You know, I had planned on liking seafood later on, but no, Mr.I-Eat-Fresh-Lobster-And-Caviar-Every-Day(Kim Jong-il) had to go and ruin shit for us. I only eat lobster twice every sixteen years and28 days, meaning I've had it twice.

I would like to go ahead and state that I like Tom Cruise. All his eccentricites aside, I really like some of his movies. M:I 3, War of the Worlds, Collateral, Last Samurai, Minority Report... All decent movies. Ignore the fact that he (ate his baby's placenta/is a loony Scientologist/42>26/he's short/whatever), he makes very entertaining movies. And it's not a crime to be short. Even though it's painfully obvious he is a shorty in some scenes in M:I3.




FELICITY, WATCH OUT!

Brilliant Idea

I just had a sudden burst of cynicism. I'm going to make a t-shirt that reads:

I Only Care About Darfur Because It's Trendy

It's so true. Don't deny it. A few months ago the majority of the population didn't give a flying fuck, but now that there are t-shirts and concerts and celebrities on the bandwagon, who wouldn't join in on the fun? I wouldn't mind if people were just silently giving cash, but if you have to advertise it then the entire movement is entirely lost on you. You should do it because genocide is terrible, not because Bono says to.

Has anyone else seen the new Internet Explorer? It's pretty much a ripoff of Firefox, but I love it none-the-less.

iHate 2.0

Currently Listening To: Sun/Rise/Light/Flies by Kasabian
I really, really hate car commercials. They pretty much epitomize 45 year old ad execs trying to relate to today's youth... And failing miserably. Car commercials=NOT COOL. And I really wish old people would give the internet the ol' shut-the-fuck-up. Stop talking about youtube, myspace, facebook... Just stop. Old people aren't supposed to relate with kids. Think about it this way, you geriatric bastard: If Senator McCarthy had been rocking out to Buddy Holly fifty years ago, you would lose all interest in those records. Same thing here. Back to the point: Let's face it, your car isn't all that impressive and not-so-funny jokes and gags don't do much to help. I feel like thirty seconds of friends is thrown at me during every commercial break. MAKE IT STOP.

On the other hand, iGetoffto the new Kasabian CD. It's pure magick. Go buy it... Three times. Kasabian needs the cash. I would go see them in concert this November, but it's the night before my Physics exam, so balls to that.

This suit is nooot blaaack. Borat will likely be the cinematic event of the millenium. Check it, bitches.

Wokka Wokka

Currently Watching: Underworld Evolution
I am totally, completely, 100% over Franz Ferdinand. It's weird. They went from being my favorite band to last week me removing all of it from my iPod. It's not like they're bad, I'm just tired of listening to them. Maybe when their new CD comes out. I've realized there are a metric ass load of CDs I am waiting/hoping for: The Bravery's second album, Hot Hot Heat's x-teenth album, Kaiser Cheifs 2nd, Hard FI's second. Get on that, bitches. I'd also like the Fray to release thier next single. If I were to never hear "How To Save A Life" again it would be really, really great. IT was the song that really stuck out when I bought it LAST DECEMBER, but it has kind of been played 438,762 times on Atlanta radio, which would be like three or four stations that could possibly have it on their playlist. Star90whore.

That Muslim Imam guy who talked at our school? Got arrested. For terrorism. Yeah, he was kind of send money to Hamas, the 'other guys' in that Lebanon/Israel thing this summer. Yup. Giving them money. That's pretty crazy.

I got the new Kasabian CD. It is loverly. Got Beck, Hellogoodbye, Audislave and an old-ish Weezer one too. I'm also considering the Rocco Deluca and the Burden CD. They're some cool cats.

OWNED

Oh, by-the-way, don't watch that if you haven't seen Final Destination.

I AM SIXTEEN

Currently Watching: X-Men 3

Yay! I'm older now!

For the first time in quite a while, I actually feel different today than I did yesterday. That's cool. I'll give a full... Report of my birthday tomorrow.

ONE DAY

DOWN WITH ESTABLISHMENT

Currently Listening To: Reason Is Treason by Kasabian
...and by establishment, of course, I mean my math teacher. I really, really, REALLY do not like him. Rarely does one encounter someone who has managed to stick their head that far up their own ass. Yeah, I know, I'm not nearly as great at math as you are, because you are simply a math god, but does that mean that I am incapable of learning math? Does that make you exempt from teaching? Am I a lost cause just because I don't have an A in your class? I would say that knowing 82% of math is a considerable achievement, but NO. At this point, six weeks into the year, I need to be considering dropping his class. And tell me, what is wrong with this concept: "Knowing the homework is not enough"? Isn't that the entire point behind homework? You do it and if yuo can that means you understand the concepts? YOU BASTARD. Words cannot express how much I loathe this man; I despise him with every inch of my being, right down to my rotting and soulless core, with a level of passionate fury previously unbeknownst to mankind. To make me feel better, I will watch some Bob Ross on YouTube and then read about Fruit Loops on Wikipedia...



...And now I'm feeling better. It always helps to get your feelings out on paper, even though this isn't paper; it's the internet and as such everything I'm putting down on this blog is utterly insignificant. But maybe, just maybe, it will have an effect. Maybe the school will see this(Because everyone knows they scour the internet for students' sites) and they'll kick my math teacher's fly self to the curb. Or maybe this will get me motivated to study now instead of tomorrow for my math test. The best success is revenge, and I plan to be so successful that some might say I went Kill Bill on him. Let me take a moment right now to emphasize that I don't plan on killing him; I know lately there has been a spike in lameasses who come to school with guns and blow folks away. That isn't me. I hate my math teacher, but murder is ineffective in terms of getting your way unless your way is getting pounder in the ass in jail for the rest of your life. Not interested.

I'm not sure how I want to spend the rest of my night. Obviously, I said I planned on some homework so I have less tomorrow, but there are two things I want to see on TV tonight: Cry_Wolf on HBO and SNL on NBC, but they're during the same time slot. What to do, what to do...

One Week

WaBam!

Is Lips of an Angel the Worst Song Known To Man?

Currently Listening To: Here (In Your Arms) by Hellogoodbye

Pretty much. Not really any room for debate. You may say Macarena or something by the Spice Girls, but that's so ten years ago. Way to live in the past, LOSER.

If I ever so those Hinder a-holes, I'd kick their Oklahoman asses with a fury previously unknown to man.

TODAY

Is two weeks to the day until my 16th.


So pretty much whenever I bring it up, which is a lot because sadly enough my young-ness is one of my defining features apparently, people are all, "Great, when do you get your license?" and I'm all, "I'm not going to." I get tired of explaining my not driving-ness. It would be better if I had like some disorder or something and I wasn't allowed to. That way, I could say "I have epilepsy!" rather than "I'm two months younger than everyone else in our grade!"

I would prefer that.

JOIN THE RESISTANCE

Ignore "Talk Like A Pirate Day". Old people know about it. Seriously, it was in the school anouncements last year, which is garbage McBullshits. Eff that.

So pretty much... There's sometihng I would really like to rant about pretty much anywhere where I already haven't, but it's a tad risky, seeing as this person wil likely read it. Oh, I bet you'd like to know now, wouldn't you? Hah, you are that type of guy, now aren't you? If it gets to be too much, privately aske me and I will pretty much tell you.

Mmm, Yummers!

I thought you might like that video. I know I do. Makes me SMILE. And I don't have a soul, so you know it's legit. It's even better once you realize that Jamba Juice is REAL, and that's what it's like. I swear to God there are more Jamba Juices in NY than Starbucks.

I wouldn't cry if I never heard the word indie again. I'm so effing done with it. I've never thought of myself as being indie, but it seems like it's effing everywhere and it has just run its course. It has been officially retired by me. Also, 'hip' in the sense of what's popular is done too. Sure, it isn't a term exclusive to our time, but it's done too. I really wish some people wouldn't try so hard to relate to kids.

Fucking LifeTouch. They take bad pictures on purpose. I hate them, they suck. I posted my bad picture last year. This year... No. I can't. It is truly the worst year book picture I have ever seen, simply because it is bad enough to be "Oh my God!" bad, but not to the point of "In a week or so I'll laugh about this." It's just "Oh my God" bad. Fuckers. And the worst part is, if I get retakes, the retake won't be my yearbuck picture and it won't be the one I get to look at every time I look at my grades. I really hate LifeTouch. Their monopoly on the yearbook picture business is bothersome.

Ways To Not Honor Someone

So this past weekend, Steve Irwin died. That's sad. I never watched his show, but it's still sad. The on teh internets, people were all, "hey guyz dis is teh badzorz lets send owt myspace bullitens in his honor lolz". I suppose that's a nice thing to do...



BUT NOT IF BY HONORING HIM YOU MEAN BOMBARDING PEOPLE WITH STEREOTYPES. The bulletin title "CRIKEY! R.I.P" is about as respectful as saying, "Let's remember him with a trip to Taco Bell!" when a Hispanic celebrity croaks or "Le'ts go get drunk out of our skulls!" when an Irish/Russian/German person dies. Don't get me wrong, I joke using stereotypes all the time, but how in God's name anyone managed to think that that was an acceptable way to express your feelings about his death is beyond me. And I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted people to hate stingrays because of this. Yes, he's called the Crocodile Hunter but he LIKED animals and tried to help them, so don't say that you hope they kill the stingray that killed him, that's stupid.

CRANK

Currently Listening To: Munich by Editors
Well, we did see it last night. It was amazing. It was funny, suspenseful, action-packed, intense... It was everything. There were drugs, there was violence, there was sex, nudity, lanugage... Probably one of the more offensive movies I've seen. It was just... a lot of fun. I definitely reccomend seeing it in a packed theater like we did, because movies are always better when you see it with a lot of people. Even when some people bring their babies. I mean, I guess the whole R-rating thing is meant to warn people against bringing elementary schoolers in, but that includes babies. Don't bring babies into R-rated movies. C'mon, it common sense, folks. Number one, scholars.

Bah dum cha.

Watch out this week, becuase lately I've been on a roll with the Mel Gibson jokes.

Il Updato

So school this week was okay. Except for the last two periods on Friday, which I spent showing my lack of knowledge about physics. I studied, but I got the test and all those formulas were just PFFT. Gone. But the great thing was that I didn’t have a mental breakdown or anything, which during any other school year in the past I likely would have. Come to think of it, he said the scores would be up Friday night, and it’s Sunday, so I could check if I so desired. BUT I DON’T. So I will just sit here.

This weekend was supafly. On Friday I went to the football game. Claire, Matt, Starla, et cetra had fled the city for Labor Day, so I sat with people who I don’t normally, which was fun. Even though we were likely to get Hassan’d. Chattooga is a sketchy place if I’ve ever seen one. Some goth kids kept coming over to our side to maybe provoke us or something? I don’t know. They were looking for justification for their existence. With no upper/upper-middle class kids to patronize they would just be regular kids who blow their cash on stupid and impractical clothing from Hot Topic.

Our team lost, which was rather sad-ifying, but I got over it. Maybe they’ll win next week, but I was really pulling for AJ to get his birthday wish (AHAHAHAHAHA!). It’s kind of funny how when we beat other teams, they say we paid off the officials but that never comes up when we lose. What kind of moron would pay someone to make them lose by less? If you’re gonna cheat, go all the way. And if you’re a redneck bitter about what school you do or don’t go to, jump into a vat of lye, we don’t need you. Effing plebes.

Yesterday… I didn’t really do anything. I watched X2 and did the usual lazy shit.

Today we watched Empire Strikes Back in Sunday School, which was the shiz. I even managed to come up with a way to relate it to Jesus (Luke in the wilderness for a month, sacrifices his hand, reborn as Jedi who redeems the sinners, AKA Darth Vader, who then go and rid the world of EVIL, AKA the Holy Roman Emperor Joey Katz-Palpatine). Just kidding, I love the Pope.

Tonight we will hopefully be going to see CRANK with Jason Statham. IT looks so badass. Hopefully at some point this month the Snake on a Plane convoy can make its way to the Centre Drive-In as well, but we’ll just have to wait.

Ryan's Snobby School Review of the Utmost Snobbery, Because Only Snobs Write Reviews. Come To Think of It, This Title Is So Long It Probably Warrants

Its Own Review, Likely Written by a Snob, Even More Likely To be Critiqued Itself By Other Snobs
Currently Listening To: I Enjoy Being A Boy by They Might Be Giants
SCHOOL makes me sad. The physics, the pre-cal, the Engrish, the other languages I always am able to display my lack of grip over… Oh, good times. GOOD TIMES. So far I’ve been doing okay, though more on the side of “fine”.

Surprisingly enough I had a great time at the football game on Friday, even though those bastards didn’t keep score. I have found that the keepation of score is the only way I can follow sports, and so with a scrimmage like this weekend, I’m lost. But I was loud and obnoxious, so people got annoyed with me, thus making my weekend complete. I get the feeling that weekends this year will be VERY good. Considering how much shit I have to wade through each week at school, I will have for serious earned the weekends, so I hope to do cool stuff to maximize the greatness and cancel out the shitty.

My teachers are decent. Sweeney is still the same; exceedingly Irish. My Spanish teacher is pretty much crazy, but I like her. She isn’t as teacher-y-ish as others. I feel more on the same level as her. My pre-cal teacher is… quite the character. Not sure what else to say. English… Well, Saunders is Saunders and if you got to Dar then you know what that means…





…pretty much whatever you want it to. If you like him, he’s great; if you don’t, he’s not. Whichever suits you better. And lastly, whomever the remaining teacher is clearly not so awful that the level of bad sticks out in my mind, so whatever that class is is decent.

Gah. Lucky Louie is like the best show besides the Colbert Report. And I have developed a huge man crush on Colossus. That’s right; I love a comic book character. He’s pretty much a bad ass. Anyone who can turn his skin to metal is the shizz in my book. Colossus and Stephen Colbert. Colbert is megamerican and that’s all I can say without besmirching his awesome.

Jokes Other People Don't Get

I was sitting here, innocently watching TV, when a commercial for Talladega Nights came on, which brought back memories of a time when I brought much shame onto our household. It was the part in the commercial where he says "It's like the best movie... EVER." to the French guy. He is of course refering to Highlander. I have not seen that movie. But I am familiar with it. After all, I have seen it re-enacted in 30 seconds by bunnies. So I guess I have seen it. Anyways, Ricky Bobby is talking about how great the movie is, which is funny, so I'm laughing absolutely hysterically, but I look around the theater and realize... I'm the only one laughing. In the entire theater. The packed, stadium-seating (So it's the biggest in the building) Friday night theater. Out of four hundred people, only one knew what they were talking about. I hung my head in shame and shut up.

A Very Shitty Post

I think it’s kind of funny how despite the fact that there is a Middle East cease fire starting tomorrow, the violence has actually escalated. It’s like they ordered all those bombs, and don’t want to let all those potentially left-over bombs to go to waste, so they’re having a grand finale. I suppose if this thing is actually over, there won’t be much by way of big news story for AP to cover, so if (A very big if) that were to happen, we’ll get to read about the “no liquids on planes” rule for months.

You know it’s the truth. The thing happened on Thursday, but I keep reading the same shit over and over again on the front page of the paper. You’d think there would be more significant developments than Pennsylvania auctioning off the shit they confiscate on eBay. Great, great, tell me something that actually matters to those of us who don’t want a collector’s nail file.

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so lazy. Not often, just when something shitty comes on TV, like Blue Collar TV, which comes on after The Simpsons sometimes, or that Pepsi-Jazz commercial. Pepsi, you deviant Nazis, quit trying to act young and hip and shit. You guys SUCK. I hate you. I also hate the THX logo before movies, like Star Wars. Those things are like ten minutes long. Great, you helped the movie be as loud as it is. I don’t care! I just wanted to watch the movie. That’s why I turned it on. I wanted to see it. No the extended THX logo. Forget that shit.

Would You Like To See a Good Movie?

Would you like to see a really good movie? A really good horror movie?

It's called Ginger Snaps. It, along with Scream and A Nightmare on Elm Street, are easily my favorite teen horror movies EVER. Though I suppose I'll take anything these days. Really any R-rated horror movie with any redeeming qualities will make me happy. I'm not big on this watered down, PG-13 horror bullshit. This movie is absolutely DIGUSTING. All kinds of gore, which is to be expected. It's a werewolf movie. An awesome werewolf movie. Basically these two goth sisters start to drift apart after one gets mauled by a werewolf, so the other gets help from a drug dealer. I watched it at midnight on IFC last night. Pretty much here's how it went. 12: The movie starts. 2: The movie ends and I decide to go to bed. Some time after that: I'm not asleep. It was pretty intense.

It's got the chick who bites it first in Freddy Versus Jason and tthe goth guy from Final Destination 3. It's funny because in this movie SHE is the goth and HE is the druggie.

Ryan's Rendition of Ranier Maria's "Breakfast of Champions"

Fire In The Disco! Fire In The Taco Bell!

Currently Listening To: Music Is My Radar by Blur
So this terror plot they thwarted(A great word, by-the-way) in London. That's some serious spit. The news keeps saying the explosives somehow involved liquids like the British version of Gatorade, meaning that it's the same Gatorade we drink here, but served warm. Yummy!
[Which reminds me of "yummers!" from the Jomba Juice sketch from Nat Portman's SNL episode I watched again last week. I didn't realize Jomba Juice was a real place until the NY trip which was, oddly enough, at the beginning of this summer. It feels like it was years ago.]
Anyways, Gatorade as an explosive? Scary. I'd say Coke/Powerade should take this opportunity to enact the most effective marketing campaign they've ever had. Basically the ads will all be really minimalist, with a black back ground, and in small white text it says: "Powerade. No one's ever tried to take down an airliner with it." It would be viewed as extremely insensitive and there will be a huge controversy, but people will buy more Powerade. No one wants to drink the same stuff as terrorists. I mean, that's why I don't have a beard or a turban; terrorism! People don't want to be associated with evil.

Today was the least lazy day in a long time for me. I got a call around noon, after watching the news all morning(The most I've watched since the London bombings lazy summer). My sister and her friend want to visit their(And my) old elementary school, which was having its orientation today. But that required going up to the country club(Which I get to by walking) and riding the dreaded yellow school bus over there. That's seriously the most active I've been this week. Walked a third of a mile up there and a third of a mile back. With lunch, of course. What's a trip to the club without lunch?

Well, I suppose it's just a two-thirds-mile trek with no lunch to show for it, though that was kind of a rhetorical question.

Wow, my first lengthy post without use of the word fuck!

Simpsons Re-Enacted By Brits

Currently Watching: Ster Werz A New Hope
I'm pretty sure it's like a bump on some Brit TV network. Either way pretty effing cool.

CrossPost from Myspace.

Currently Listening To: Empire by Kasabian
I had a krerzy dream last night, in detail here:
This one was almost as weird as the bug one, where someone from my youth group was devoured by a very large bug while everyone (including myself) just sat there. So anyways, last night, I'm a-sleepin' and the first dream comes on. Our church youth group, a common subject in my dreams, is on another trip. I have no idea where we were, but it was in the woods. Maybe we were up at the Noog. Who knows? Anyways, so we do all kinds of outdoorsy things, and then we decide to watch a movie, and someone puts on V for Vendetta. The disc is scratched, so then I say I have a copy of the movie, but it turns out that was mine. Whatever. Wow, iTunes just opened up. Like ten years after I clicked on it. Bitches.

So anyways, we're leaving... In a Darbus... When another car turns down the drive way to wherever we're staying. I look in the car and see it's a friend from school, so I'm like, "Hey!" out an open window, which was weird because the window was on the front side of the bus and we all know windshields don't roll down unless you have a really crappy car. So I get out and talk to her, which disappointed me when I realized this was a dream because it's likely that I won't ever see her again. So anyways, it turns out she was leaving because she got kicked out, and so her mom was pissed that the Darbus was there on what was apparently her property. Oops! The bus leaves and now I'm hangin out with her and some other school friends, and then my mom shows up with all my stuff, seeing as the place is now college and we're all moving in. The place has gone from being a bunch of cabins in the woods to a college on a river in a big city. Some other weird stuff I'm kind of vague about goes on.

Things really started to get weird in the next dream, or maybe it was just a second half to this dream, I really don't know. So anyways, I'm at an old style theater seeing the remake of Shaun of the Dead, starring all the stars of the original Shaun of the Dead, but it turns out it's a remake of Resident Evil, with all the stars of Resident Evil. Hmm. So I leave and I'm at... Some place and I see my friend Abby and we're talking aboutthe movie which she is excited about. I leave and we go to the grocery store. When I say 'we' I mean, myself and like 30 kids who show up from out of nowhere. We get all the groceries and we walk home, but there's this big intersection(Which is a real intersection) and speeding cars, which are reality-otious as well. So everyone has to run across one at a time without getting hit.

We finally get to the street where my house really is, and there's a street race going on, with all these people driving old Volvo trucks that definitely look the part of European. So I'm driving one... Poorly... And I end up ramming into a line of them parked along side the river from War of the Worlds. I finish the race and all of a sudden I'm some well-known(In the dream world) superhero whose power is that he can jump really high. So I'm jumping up onto the SuperTarget which has replaced the river and jumping off again when all of a sudden I can't jump anymore. So I start climbing the building, which is really weird, becuase I'm all, "Hey, I'm not Spider Man" So I swing a web and land on top of the Target, where Aunt May's apartment is. She has a new boyfriend who doesn't like me.

And then I woke up because Clint was calling me.

The Dark Cloud of School Looms Over My Summer.

That was the angstiest title I could concieve at this point in time. Seriously, though, school. Boo. It started week before last in the northern pockets of Georgia, this past week in some metro Atlanta counties, this week in Mayretta city schools, next week in Cobb and then the twenty-first, we start. As in, this week when I saw V for Vendetta at the Fox Theater(!) there were kids mere miles away doing their first homework of the year. That is fucked up. And so now all my dreams are about school. But not in a good sense. Not a, "Wow, this is the greatest thing to ever happen to me!" dream, but then again, not a, "Wow, I'm being chased by... Something that people generally are upset when they're chased by it" dream. I don't have those. I suppose it would be cool, you know, just once, so I know I have a soul, but alas, my dreams are dashed once more. Anyways, they're dreams where when you have them, you're like, "You know, I think I would have rather had a good dream than that dream." Unsettling dreams. And theres always people in my dreams where I recognize them but deep down am well aware that they aren't real so I in fact don't know them. Like, there was a guy in my dream last night, and it was an animated inanimate object with the voice of someone I know, but the dream version of me didn't think it was weird at all. Hmm.

So anyways, fuck school. Did I spell that right? It looks weird. School. I guess it is right. Hmmm.

Master of the Universe
I just watched the SNL with Nat Portman(!) and Fall Out Boy(If there were a punctuation mark that denoted anger or mediocrity, I'd use it heyah), and I must say it is one of my favorite episodes. JAMBA JUICE. FOB sounds really weird/different sans voice enhancements. AND the fatass lead singer threw his geetar at the drummer, which I daresay was a tad rude.

Clerks 2 was phenom. I urge you to see it, but without anyone you would be uncomfortable seeing a movie with offscreen beastiality in it. I will leave it... At that.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Jada Pinkett says Tom and "Kate"'s baby is really fuckin' awesome

Which leads me to believe that maybe it was Tom Cruise's kid in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction.

The Basement

Just some pictures of the basement.

My Very Own Communism Post

Currently Listening To: No, Not Now by Hot Hot Heat(The song I quoted several posts back)
Every year at Kanuga, they have a little Carnival. It gets lamer and lamer every year, not necesarily because the carnival itself is different, but moreso because a cookie walk when you're 15 is not nearly as fun as when you're six, no matter how fat you is. Another activity I had labeled as lame but turned out to be a great source of entertainment is the face paint booth, hosted by Abby, who is supafly. The discussion of what would likely not be painted on your face if you asked came up. Someone suggested the Star of David, I suggested the Hammer and Sickle. We went and tried both. The Star of David was rejected, but the Hamma en Sickeh was go. Yes, I had the symbol for Communism "tattooed" in bright red on my face in the middle of North Carolina. That was the night we went to the movies. I went with the thing still on my face. Feel free to kiss my feet if you ever get the chance, I'm a bad ass.

I took a few pictures, but they were lost because SOMEBODY filled up the camera's memory card with motherfucking MYSPACE PICTURES. OUT OF FOCUS PICTURES AND APATHETIC POSES AREN'T COOL. THEY HAVE NO ARTISTIC MERIT WHATSOEVER. TAKE A NORMAL PICTURE YOU DUMBASS. I think there is a picture on one of the disposables with the painting, but still. Many thanks to Abby for taking a class about Russia so she actually knew what I was talking about and how to do it!

Did you know tag is banned at public schools? This makes me hate Commies even more. Sure, banning tag isn't one of the tennents of Communism, especially considering it's a political ideal and not a parenting technique, but I idolize McCarthy, so Communists are my scapegoat of choice.

My face paint caused a tad bit of controversy. I was saying the second paragraph when someone brought up the first. I didn't get it because I am a Communist, I did it for shock value! SHOCK FACTOR! Damn people. It doesn't take too much sense to realize that I am quite the little capitalist. I buy stuff all the time! NOT A COMMIE. I have no issue with peaceful communists, but I am not one.

The Readers Digest Version of the Readers Digest Version of Last Week

Currently Listening to: Feltham Is Singing Out by HardFI

• Saturday: Arrive at Kanuga. Don't even bother asking what that is. It's weird to explain. It has, however, been simplified by some, who say it's kind of like the place in Dirty Dancing. I have never seen that movie, so I don't know what to make of that comment. All I know is I haven't seen Swayze there.
• Sunday. My year-and-a-half boycott of Walmart comes to an end. Basically what happens every year is my grandmother forgets something and so she heads over to Wal-Mart, children in tow, and agrees to buy us something for under twenty dollars. Course, that was the deal when I was little. Now it's as much as you want up to twenty dollars, which I'm sure some little greedies had a hand in. Anyways, my twenty dollars went toawrd the Rock Kills Kid CD, which is a great CD. Later that day, I went to the Hendersonville mall. It is more dismal than the Rome mall. Yes. One of the anchor stores is a K-Mart. Anyways, there, I was ripped off by FYE. Those fuckers.
• Monday. I got hit by a car. I was walking down the double yellow so cars couldn't swerve to miss me and had to wait for me to go by them. Anyways, this lady who works for Kanuga doesn't stop, so I stick my arm out, which is then hit by her sideview mirror. She was pissed. This later turned into a several day fiasco.
• Tuesday. Don't remember at all.
• Wednesday. Guhhhh. Hmm. Well, the second confrontation with the bitch who hit me with her car. This time, she blamed my brother for... Well, I don't know. She thought it was him who came into contact with the car. I'm not sure what the crime was. But she was pissed. Later a caravan of teenage drivers was organized to go see a movie. I bet that little hick theater was confused as fuck. "Well, Monday we sold fifty tickets, forty on Tuesday and HOLYCRAP NINETY ON WEDNESDAY." HAH.
• Thursday. . When has anything happened on a Thursday? I think something happened on Thursday. Oh yes... The car saga continued. A kid who looks like he'll probably end up in the pen was blamed for the car thing. Again, unsure of the actual crime. I don't think even dictatorships make being a victim a crime.
• Thursday night/Friday morning. While listening to my boombox/sleeping, the boombox cried out to me. See, I had planned on buying a fancier home... Audio thing, with a five disc changer, a radio with a digital/non-dial tuner and a plug-in for mp3 players. So anyways, in this freaky dream, the boombox cried out to me and reminded me of how faithful it had been, and that it is completely functional. He was crying. How could I say no?
• Friday: We(Meaning the group present at the car incident and the movie thing) went to HOOKER Falls. Following that was a tragically short trip to the Jewish camp. Tragic.
• Friday night. Loud, violent storm which woke me up. In the process... the boombox fell to the ground from a table.

Why the hell does Haley Joel Osment drive a station wagon?

Dear loyal worshippers... I have returned with some bad, very bad, worse than bad news. Last week... I heard a country song... That I actually liked. I am so ashamed. I am also contemplating downloading the song. I mean, sure, if I change my mind about the song, just delete it and never listen to it again, but it would still be burned into my conscience... FOREVER. AND EVER. Oh my God... what have I done?

911: Government-Funded Dating Service

Currently Watching: Land of the Dead
It bothers me that in a world where Lebanon and Israel are bombing the fuck out of each other, North Korea is threatening to do the same and the biggest civil rights debate since the sixties is taking place, a woman is being sent to court for calling 911 without a good reason. A few things to point out here:

1. 911 is for emergencies. She's lonely, which could potentially be an emergency if she was like depressed or something.
2. Kids crank call 911 all the time, and I haven't seen ANY sort of action taken on a single nose-picker.
3. They say she was tying up the phone lines, but let's face the facts: There are no emergencies in Aloha, Oregon. Except for, say, tonight's regularly scheduled programming not being aired. Relax, bitches. You're the police force of bumblefuck, quit taking youself so seriously.

Riley Denbow is my hero. A year later and he and Pillsbury are still the biggest badasses not including Samuel L. Jackson.

New Summer Tradition

Currently Listening To: Who's Gonna Save Us by the Living End
Not unlike last summer, and in some ways very much like last summer, I have wasted many hours playing GOLDENEYE64 with all sorts of cheat modes. My favorite is the one where I have two RCP90, unlimited bullets and Russian soldiers who couldn't hit the broadside of a barn. The RCP90 can shoot 80 bullets before you have to reload, which lasts maybe fifteen seconds. It can also fire through some doors. Oh, what a gun. If only it were real.

Unlike last summer, and in some ways not at all like last summer, I haven't whipped out a bitchin' on here lately. I complained a lot last year. My personal favorite is the one about wimpy hurricane names. It's a shame that angered the gods and was responsible for killing more than a thousand and displacing millions. Ooops. Also the conspiracy theories, like the one where I said Pepsi is for Nazis, or hwere I said that Scions were made by a covert organization hoping to wipe out the Jews.

If I had an RCP90, I would shoot every phone in our house. Six people in a house means a lot of people for people to want to call. Namely [Hold on, the phone is ringing] my sisters' friends. For fuck's sake, they have cell phones, call them on THEIR phones, you fucking dumbass bitches! Whew. Now that THAT is out of my syst... Wait, FAT WHORES. Now it is out of my system. Anyways, sister friends calling, people of all shapes and sizes who feel the need to "Just check in" and "courtesy calls", which is the new name for telemarketing calls, combined with two children who are seemingly unable to answer the phone and a phone next to the couch have driven me to the brink of being whatever there is past insanity. I'd say I'm insane because of the numerous times when I have had a dream where I got up and went through my morning routine, and then really woke up and had thought that I had already done that, which is, by definition, insanity. I hate land line phones, and will certainly not own one when I am a homeowner. But I will own a letteropener. Hours of fun and many uses. Obviously they open letters, but the also open packages, and act as small daggers perfect for knife fighting on the old bridge. I'm sure they'd also do well at carving out the chip the secret government organization implanted into the back of your shoulder to control your mind.


Adios, turd nuggets.

It Is Official: Cheney Is Putin's Bitch

He just got Russian served.

Funny Story

So last night, Bob and I were bored, so we went out the basement door and snuck around the outside of the house to the window of where our sisters were, on their computer, as usual. So I crawled through the bushes over to the window and banged on it. They screamed so loud. Pretty much I wouldn't have done it if not for the fact that every time I open a door and my sister is there she gasps really loud and says "Oh Lawdy, Ryne you scurred me!" I'm just like, "HEY, other people live in this house. Other people also aren't relegated to their qaurters whilst you roam free about the property, okay?" GAH. She scares really easily.

DON'T GO SEE PIRATES OF THE CARI... CARRI...

The Johnny Depp one. Wait until it's on video, and watch it right before you go see the third one. The ending is pretty much the same ending as Matrix Reloaded. The movie was great up until the ending, and then I wanted to cut my wrists becuase it was os frustrating.

DAMN, BITCHES.

Some of us wouldn't be lyin'

If we said we were trying

Too hard, but it all works out in the end

One-Third of My Family Went Missing Today

Currently Listening To: Get Me Outta Here by JET
This morning folks was looking for me. I heard my name shouted several times while I was still in bed but not sleeping. I didn't feel like human contact so I pretended to be asleep. My sister comes downstairs and walks around a bit, shouting my name but doesn't come in to the room where MY BED is, despite the fact that the door, which was open, is right next to the landing of the stairs. She goes back upstairs and tells everyone I must have left. Evidently she isn't aware that I'm somewhat of a do-nothing. My brother was then called and told to bring me home with him. DURRRRRRR.

So then later on, my mom comes down into the Temple. Bob and I were watching a movie, and she sat down on the couch and watched with us. Later on, she suggested we go out and get Cokes. I said that we should go out the back door so as to not pick up any stragglers on the way to the car. Stragglers meaning the younger third of our family. So as we are turning into the cul-de-sac on our way home, like five minutes later, Bob gets a phone call. My youngest sister is bawling. She thought my mom had like disappeared or something. Just vanished. DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUR

The Fast and the Furious Three: The Best Third Fast and the Furious I Saw Tonight

Currently Listening To: For Tomorrow by Blur(Well.... I'm not really listening to it. But it's a schwey song. She's a twentieth century girl, holding on for to-mo-rrow)
In all seriousness, I liked it, despite not know what the fuck drifting is nor having seen the first two. I liked all the car crashes because, well, I'm a twentieth century boy (Duh-duh-duh), holding on for to-mo-rrow.

Fondue. HA. Fond-you!

I keep saying Final Destination 3 whenever I wanna say Fast and Furious 3. I guess they're pretty much the same, you know? So much in common. They both came out this year, they both are number three, and people die in both of them. Oh, and the Fs. F f f f f f, I love F.

Psst, Blur, I love you! Even though you didn't accept me as your friend on myspace.

Fondue?

Currently Watching: Bride of Chucking, one of the weirdest movies... ever?
Last night we went out for fondue. Crazy. Craziness. You know. I had thought that a fondue meal was basically a huge appetizer, which now that I think about it didn't make much sense. Who the fuck eats a bowl of liquid cheese for dinner? Any ways, turns out that the cheese bowl WAS the appetizer. The meal consists of putting raw yet somehow prepared meat on a stick and cooking it campfire/smore-style in a pot of some sort of sauce for a few minutes. Despite being really snooty sounding, it was pretty cool. You could also do a dessert with chocolate, but that probably would have caused a chain reaction of pukings previously unknown to man, seeing as there were six of us.

Then we went out for put-put, which was... Put-put. But I hadn't done it in a while so it was cool. Unfortunately the put-put place near our house has no windmills.

Movies I Plan On Going To See This Year Redux

Currently Watching: The Colbert Report(Pronounced 'repore')

1. Supaman Returns, just because I know it will either be God's gift to man or a boiling jar of horse piss. Sorry Bryan Singer.
2. Strangers with Candy, just so I can see it with Dane to prove him WRONG
3. Pirates of the Caribbean. Two. Nothing much to say here, the first was good, high hopes, yada yada, I shut up now.
4. You, Me and Dupree. Because I was so let down by Wedding Crashers(Unlike everyone else who saw it), maybe Owen can redeem himself in my eyes, because I know it means a lot to him.
5. My Super Ex-Girlfriend, because the idea of superheroes being a staple plot point in American cinema turns me on.
6. Los Clerks Dos. View Askew likely is God's gift to mankind. New release date, eh? JULY. TWENTIETH.
7. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. At first I thought it would absolute garbage, but upon further inspection, maybe the new Anchorman?
8. Accepted. Justin Long starts his own college because he can't get into a real one, which I have thought of doing before.
9. Snake on Prane. Sammy J is my homeboy. Those muthafuckin' snakes is on the plane dis muthafuckin' August.
10. Idiocracy. It's another Luke Wilson movie, where he wakes up in a society of morons. (Insert lame, snobby/pesimistic joke right about he-ah) .
11. Crank. But only because my other hero is in it.
12. Jackass 2. But only because I've been wearing the jacket for it for a while.
13. Employee of the Month. Because I like Dane Cook and Dax Sheppard.
14. Sunshine. It just sounds really interesting.
15. Stranger than Fiction
16. Casino Royale, of course
17. SKINWALKERS. Me gustan mucho los werewolves
18. Van Wilder 2, Rise of the Taj
19. BLACK CHRISTMAS. Because I actually liked the When a Stranger Calls remake.

There ya go.

Change of Plans

Escuchando Ahora a: Suzie por Boy Kill Boy
So basically, we were possibly going to move, but now we aren't. This news leaked about... a week ago, but I didn't post it because this little bit of my life(As in, el blogo) doesn't really mean much any more. It's weird, the reason I don't care is that people don't really read it any more, but when I first started it, that didn't matter. In fact, I didn't really have any sort of readership for a while, and I still did it, thus proving that when I was 13 I didn't really care what people thought whereas now I'm 15 and extremely self-concious. The worst part is that I'm aware opf that but I'm so... I don't know. All I know is that I lack any sort of confidence in myself so even though I know it's dumb to get so caught up in what people see me as, I still care a lot. I lie a lot. I tell people the reason I don't do anything about being fat is because I don't care what people think about me, but that's a huge crock of shit. I think a lot about my physical appearance, but I'm so weak-willed that I can't manage to actually keep any sort of commitment to a diet or exercise plan. So basically I suck. Anyways, backto not moving to China. Well, that makes it simple because I just said it all. We were possibly moving to China, now we're definitely not possibly moving.

My mom found my iPod. I appreciated that much. I am much obliged to her for that.

I finally managed to hang out with Danish yesterday. That was cool. We saw the Sandler movie. That's definitely got to be the saddest movie Adam Sandler will ever be responsible for making. The jokes were hysterical, even the ones I had seen in the trailer. After the movie at the glorious 278 in Hiram, we got Chinese food, which I seem to have more and more affection for all the time. Not Chinese Chinese food though, the deep-fried American Chinese food, with fortune cookies. So we ate that and hung out until God-knows-when in the morning.

So that's pretty much it.

Nothing To Say?

Currently Listening To:
I lied. Something huge to say, but something I can't say. I'd love to say it, but I really think it's too early. Put simply, it would be a huge change. An enormous change. Bigger than the one THIS week, whence Bob and I were given the basement. We've pretty much moved in already. I plugged in my beloved DELL down in the basement today, so it's officially my residence. And the computer is under the fan, and the fan actually makes it cold! Like, I'm wearing pants right now, which is beautiful. But if this huge change were to come about, my computer would not be under the fan. Because the dorm rooms at school don't have fans. Ooops, did I say that? It doesn't matter, for two reasons. A) Because no one reads this, and Green) Because that's just a product of this change, not the change itself.

I went outside today. I also socialized today. So like I said in what, my second post ev4r, I am on the neighborhood swim team. Which is sad. Not only because I am on the swim team, but also because I pretty much always get last. But some of the people on the team my age are cool. One of the girls and her friend, both of which I know from church, went out to Waffle Hausen. And we had a good time, with many hearty laughs exchanged. Donnie, our waiter, was quite the interesting fellow.

Isn't it sad that me going outside is notable? I suck.





Don't tell anyone, but I have a myspace. Aaaah!

NEW POST

Nothing to say.

I CAUGHT ON FIRE TODAY

My moooostache
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

Really, really bad sunburn. My dad and I went to a Tech baseball game, and baseball games usually entail many hours out in the sun, which, for a plae person such as myself, means turning beet red. It hurts, uh, a fair fuckin' bit.

The 2006 Clive Dangerously Film Festival

WARNING: THIS POST IS IN VIOLATION OF MADDOX'S BLOG ARTICLE. DO NOT PROCEDE IF YOU, LIKE MYSELF, ARE A MADDOX DRONE

So... Hanging out this week pretty much entirely by myself. And TV is pretty lame during the day, so I have been watching a lot of movies. We've got EMPIRE OF THE SUN. It's a lesser-known Spielberg movie, and I felt quite intellectual and better than everyone else while watching it. Then... Firewall. I pretty much had this one figured out from the beginning. You could see pretty much every twist in advance, but it wasn't bad. I like Harrison Ford's angry voice. He's so funny when he's growling. I can just imagine him shouting "GET OFF MY PLANE!" at any point in time. The next night my dad and I went to the theatre (Notice how I spelled it in a fancy way?) and saw THANK YOU FOR SMOKING, which I expected to be like a fictional-spin on a Michael Moore book. But it was incredibly apolitical, as in, not politically charged. Just really fucking funny. It also had Cameron Bright, who up until then, was my archnemesis. I just plain used to not like him. I felt that he ruined many a movie for me. But he was awesome in "Thank You...", simply perfect for the role. Rob Lowe's character reminded me of Kevin Nealon in Granma's Boy, and that movie was fucking hysterical, so Rob Lowe was hysterical. After the movie, I had one of the rip-off ChickFilA sammiches from Mickey D's. It was okay, but the pickles were like, disgusting. and everywhere. It was me vs. the pickels, and I almost lost.

Actually, now that I think about it, I might have seen Firewall AFTER "Thank You...". Another thing about summer, aside from being alone, I cannot place things in a timeline. The other day, my dad asked me what I had to eat that day, as my diet has become a common topic as of late, and I told him. A bowl of Kix. Trouble is, I suddenly remember that I hadn't eaten Kix sense... Well, months before that. I remembered sometihng that never happened. I also cannot tell you what day it is. Anyways, back to movies. I watched Fat Albert, Batman, Batman Begins, Waiting and Eurotrip. Fat Albert was instantly forgettable, aside from being awful, and the rest of the movies I had already seen. That's why I watched them. So this film festival was pretty lame. I rented "The Squid and the Whale", but I read the back of the case when I got home from Blockbuster (WHICH I walked to, by the way) and apparently there is NO epic battle between a large squid and a land-whale. DAMN.

Jesus and Tayshawn

Jesus and Tayshawn
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

A new buddy cop movie currently in production, with Jesus as the laid back, hip, inner-city cop and Tayshawn as the straight-laced, up tight, almost retired cop. Did you see the role reversal there? Normally the white guy is the uptight one. But that's pretty much the pitch. Like a buddy cop movie, but a little different. It will probably still have some really lame twist where one of the good guys turns out to be a bad guy, but only because I am completely not creative at all.

A Shot of Me Laying Down

A Shot of Me Laying Down
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

I know it's incredibly pathetic to have a solo photo shoot, but I'm home alone nad I have no interest in talking to anyone who lives in my neighborhood because the majority of them suck. Anyways, note the lack of mirrors used in taking this picture. The majority of teenage drones would have taken a picture of a mirror. Instead, I got on the ground, held the camera up and SHABAM, there we go. NOT a cam whore.

Eh

hindenburger
Originally uploaded by CliveDangerously.

Credit goes to Dan-o.

New York gets a hive five

Currently Listening To:Gotta Reason by Hard-FI
I am back from New York. Actually, I got back Friday, but neglected to post until now because apparently there is a cure for the nerd gene. It's only temporary, though. To get to t3h cityzorz, we took... THE TRAIN. That's right, Amtrak, bitcholas. Holy shit, can you say "Amtrak was pretty weak. I can see why not a lot of people use it anymore"? First of all, the employees were kind of dicks. We was getting a lot of attitude, especially because our group was kind of loud. And we're teenagers. I've learned that not many people like teenagers. Just other teenagers and creepy bus drivers. The train stopped a lot, too. In the time it took to rail up to NYC, we could flown there... and back... 4 or 5 times. But the train was spacious, and you didn't really have to be seated during the trip. And tunnels are awesome in trains. So anyways, twenty-one hours after leaving the station, we get there. After an hour of waiting for bags and shit, all 19 of us pile in to some cabs with English speaking folks to our quaint and qurappy hostel. The rooms were tiny, cramped, hot, and a tad nasty. and twelve people sharing 1 toilet and 1 shower is probably not a good idea. The hostel was populated by Europeans, both the hot and the creepy/old, and the hostel was, as far as I could tell, in the middle of the gay village. It made some of the littles dirks in the group quite uncomfortable, despite the fact that I don't think any of us were ever approached by a gay person. Oh, and another thing, I'd say that it's incredibly unwise to be saying "faggot" in the middle of a gay neighborhood, similar to saying the dreaded n-word in like Harlem or something. Just because all of the gay guys on TV are feminine doesn't mean one you meet in real life can't beat the shit out of you. Anyways, back to other things, I did actually like New York. First off, I love public transportation. We got these little subway cards so we didn't have to fuck with tokens and it was just like, "SWIPE" and bam, you get to go ride around town with homeless people in a metal tube that smells like piss. And the buses were cool too. Hey, I live in the south, I'll take whatever I can get. I also like how new stuff was put into old buildings. The movie theater where we saw X3(Which was phenominal, by the way) was built in like an old apartment building or something. The theater looked like the stand-alone ones we have here on the inside but it looked exactly like the other buildings near it on the outside. I laso like how the Apple store was entirely underground, except for the big glass square with the elevator above it. Badaaaaaaaaass. Times Square was cool because it still looked like the afternoon at midnight. Spamalot was hysterical, as was expected, and the bear spotting was exciting. Well, there wasn;t really a bear. What happened was, in the hostel, I was yelling at pedestrians saying that I was God, and asking them how they were enjoying my day. Some dude poured water down on to me, so I stopped that, instead opting to warn New Yorkers about the impending danger of bears looking for honey. We had several drills. Mosto f the people on the trip were decent. The two girls I hated on the trip last year were evne bitchier, but I managed to avoid most of it because we didn't spend as much time packed in small spaces as on the Maine trip. I had a bi-polar kind of relationship with the guys in my room. One minute we would gang up on one kind, then another, and then another, so everyone got a fairshare of beat down. Except for me. Because people bow before me. Most of the ganing up on befell the kid who was pretty much glued to his phone, going back and forth talking to Keytrayvis and his girlfriend. Talking until 1:30 in the morning? Not cool. Oh, and I didn't run out of money this time. I did, however, seeming develop an eating disorder, because aparently only bringing a little bit of cash out to eat qualifies as one. The hot dogs were good, as was the Chinese place we ate, but the pizza was mediocre at best. My favorite part, without a doubt, was the Virgin record store. Why?

1. The didn't ID
2. They sold condoms at the register. Not gonna be a virgin for long
3. I've been telling that joke all week
4. They were having a sale. On music!
5. It was several stories large
6. No rednecks or soccer moms in my way
7. Sorry for the X-Men spoiler at the beginning

Love, Ryan