Don't make me eat you.

I just got back from a camping trip to a drive in theater. We saw Without A Paddle and Resident Evil 2. It was kick ass. Twice, no, thrice, no FOUR TIMES!!!!!! Sorry for another short post, but I HATE SCHOOL. I mean... I have home-I HATE SCHOOL-work. So... later... and... things, I guess. I don't know. I really, really don't know.

Play this game.

It's hella-awesome twice. And addictive. And easy.




EDIT: Okay, so maybe it isn't as easy as I said. But it is hella-awesome twice and addicitve.

Super Monkey Robot Hyperforce!!!!1!!!!1!!!!

I swear to God there's a show on right now called Super Monkey Robot Hyperforce. But it sucks because it's on Toon Disney and it's full of crap like "Of course I came, that's what friends are for!" What lies they feed these children.
I got my braces off today. But not before I saw a great chance to extract revenge on those sadistic bastards. I spewed some saliva I collected in my mouth all over that nurse. That's what you get for malpractice, bitches.
My birthday is in two weeks. If you bitches don't get me something, I keel you. No lie. You can just ask my neighbors... but oh wait, I keeled them. So you can't. Cause they dead.


Not really, of course. Gullible fart knocker. Wow, that insult sucked twice, maybe thrice.

"Is it that dumb Rasumataz song again?"

Just finished a biology paper. Eh. But today was pretty OK. I met(formally) the dorm student we are hosting at my school. He's a real cool guy. Don't know if he was impressed with me as I was with him. The first question everyone was asking my dad and I was "Does he speak any English?" and we were all, "Shut up, bitch, he speaks English better than you. Bitch."
Nah, he's supafly. And he's really smart, too. So go eat some cat barf, you dumb, flaming sack of dog crap.


Oh, and if my egotistical sister doesn't shut up about how it's her birthday(which it isn't 'til tomorrow) and we need to be nice to her, I'll make every other day of the year pure hell. What a little beotch. And I'll be damned if anyone was fooled by her obviously stuffed bra. Yeah, um, you're eleven. No eleven-year-old has boobs that big. But I didn't say anything. Maybe that's a sign of me getting maturer(Is that spelled right?). Or it's a sign of me wanting to see people stare at her and think "$200 bucks says that kid stuffs her bra."

The Punisher is awesome

...but not as awesome as me. But hey, not much is. Just... the ladies. Another uneventful week at school over. You must be thinking, "Oh, exalted one, what about Ivan, the storm whose wrath was almost as great as your level of awesomeness?" Well, you punk-ass beotches, Ivan was a little overrated. Just about every school in the state got a day or two off thanks to Ivan. But our lame-ass school didn't. Private school sucks. I mean, first we have to wear khakis every day, sometimes ties, we can't have any fun whatsoever, and then we have to come to school on incliment weather days, along with days in which Ivan is supposed to hit, yet you could practically go to the zoo while busy not learning. GHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, man I hate school. And it hates me, too. And pants are overrated. That's why the ladies always try to take mine off. But they can't, because our school has a lame-ass dress code that requires los pantalones to be worn by me at all times. Ooooh, I spoke espanol. Sexy. Like me.






I think I'm the only person who was unaware that John Candy has been dead for ten years. That's the only reason I'm still mourning. Because I just didn't know. Now I've GOTTA lose weight. All the great overweight comedians are dead. John Candy, Chris Farley, that one fat guy... all the greats. Jeez cheese Louise, man.

Go see Residnet Evil 2 if you haven't already. Go rent the Punisher if you haven't already. It's a saaaaaaaaaaad movie that made me laugh, cry, laugh a little more, shout "Jeez! He kilt that Russian guy dead!", and have to take a leak.




Screw you, Ivan. You were the suckiest hurrican ever. Whoops. There I go with that sexy espanol again.

Screw you, iTunes!!!

I just did it. I defeated the man. There is now no need for me to blow $500 on an iPod. I just figured out how to put iTunes files on an MP3 player.
Eff you, Apple. I won. The only way for you to beat me is to not play. How about a nice game of tic-tac-toe?

Update'd!

I've decided to have a more positive outlook on life. This way, the week will move along quicker. so... something positive about this week... it's over. 4 weeks of school down, only about 32 weeks left. Great. I mean, Great!!!!!!!! Whatever.

Duran Duran has a new song out. It's pretty good, but somewhat sub-par to some of their other hits.

Spanish class was funny yesterday. Not because the teacher told a funny joke, but because he was so pissed off at us. He was all "Pay attention, dammit!" Well, he didn't relly say that, but he probably would have. The reason he was so pissed was because most people either got a low C(equivalent of a D) or failed altogether on a test we took a week or so ago. I got a C. But you know what? I don't really care. In the words of Ravi(another kid in that class), "Maybe he'll have a heart attack!" That or his trophy wife(no, I've never met her or seen her, but this guy has to be going through his midlife crisis, and he probably doesn't have a Mustang) leaves him. Anyways, enough of me being cynical.

Nah, I like being a cynical bastard. This past weekend, I got an IM from one of my followers. I mean, readers. JOIN MY CULT JOIN MY CULT. That really meant alot to me. I mean, someone actually cared to IM. I think I'm gonna cry now... No, wait, I'm not. But thanks anyways. If you want to see me cry, you'll need to impale with 4, count 'em, 4 pool skimmers while dangling me above a pit of sharks who haven't eaten in a week or two. Then, you might see me shed a tear. Or you could just make me watch the last 10 minutes of the movie Selena. (Why did you have to die Selena, why?) That always makes me cry.





























Look how far this thing'll go down!

hooray for lettuce

I got up a 7 this morning. Don't know why. But I think I'll do that more often. Our house('hoose', if I were Canadian) is much more awesomer when everyone is sleeping.

I was thinking. My sisters' friends are still annoying, and they still come over to the house to bother me, so why not just set out some beartraps like in My Boss's Daughter. I'd never have to deal with them again. except when I have to dispose of their bodies. So maybe I could install a high-tech security system that fires a laser at them when they come within 100 feet of our house(which works out well, because the live less than 100 feet from our house and would be garanteed to be laser'd as soon as I installed it), but I don't have enough money for that. So I'll dig a huge pit and cover it so they can't see it. When they come close, they'll fall into- a moat! That's what I need! But with no water in it. I'll ensure that they don't escape by making it really deep. So when they fall in, they'll be stuck forever. I'm so awesome.

Only one month and one day 'til I'm 14. I've already planned my birthday out. My dad, a few friends and I are all going to go see Shaun of the Dead. And then we'll go do something else. And they'll give me presents. And it'll be GREAT.

I'm not going to bother talking about school, seeing as it was exactly the same as the previous two weeks of school. Crappy. So why bother? My point exactly.

Free iPods? No, free children.

I used to wonder why Germans worshipped David Hasselhoff. Now I know, thanks to the EuroTrip Soundtrack. Oh, by the way, my friend Doug brought his portable DVD player on the bus yesterday and we watched EuroTrip. Without a doubt the best bus ride ever. I mean, it could only have been better if Cosgrove had drank a big can of SHUT THE HELL UP. God, he's annoying. If he ever bothers Sarah again, I'm gonna eat him for breakfast. And, seeing as I'm a fat kid, you can quote me on that. Same thing goes for those two eleventh graders(this clown and his gay partner) who keep insisting that I should 'do' Sarah. Sorry you guys don't have the ability to come within 10 feet of a girl without falling over from all the pressure, but some of us are actually respected by women(a rare achievement for a nerd like me) and don't plan on changing that. Besides, I have no interest in eating a cat(if you catch my drift...). So there you have it. I lied. I did complain about school. Well, maybe just 3 of the bastards at school, but whatever. Bye. And whatnot.