Can We Get This Straight?

Currently Watching: South Park
I DO NOT RUN ON DUNKIN'.

The commercial says, "America runs on Dunkin' Donuts." No. Wrong. Do you know who eats donuts? Fat people. But not me. So, fat people, excluding me. Anyways. Donuts. Fat people. Ever see a fat person run? No. They can't. And they've got a stick figure on their little logo. Seriously? Fat people eat donuts, and conversely, donuts make you fat. Instead, they should have a big bubble figure waddling while reaching (and NOT GETTING, because fat people have been statistically shown to never reach their dreams) for a donut.


AND THAT IS NOT THE PROPER SPELLING. IT IS DOUGHNUT. I don't care what you say about dictionary this, widely-accepted that. It's doughnut. It's through, not thru. Night, not nite.

And you know what's worse? Futurama, probably my favorite show except for Heroes and Big Love and South Park and the Simpsons, is now on Comedy Central. This should be great, right? RIGHT? They're known for playing the same ten episodes of funny syndicated shows ad nauseum, which is great. Unfortunately, it isn't funny any more.

I can't explain why. I don't know what's the reason. It's the same episodes (though apparently there are new episodes), but it just isn't funny any more.

Fuck you, Comedy Central.

I told Dane, and he asked an interesting question: If South Park was shown on Adult Swim rather than Comedy Central, would it be a lot funnier?

The answer? Yes.

Why? Ted Turner.

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I kid.

I kid.