Tuesday morning, I'm sitting at the breakfast table. The phone rings. No one in our house ever wants to pick up the land-line; I hesitate.
Caller ID looks like its a sales call, but I pick it up any way.
At that very moment, I can hear my mom running to the phone upstairs, picking up the receiver at the very same instant that I do.
"Hello?" I ask.
"Hello?" the woman on the other end responds.
"H-Hello?" This awkward exchange seems to happen every time talk on the phone; how are you supposed to answer? "[surname] residence, [name] speaking"? I guess that makes sense. I'll try it next time.
The telemarketer starts her script. We've won a cruise, or there's a deal for refinancing the mortgage or something. There's a wide variety of subjects covered by these calls, but they all run together in my mind. She gets a few sentences in before I hear a click. My mother gave up, and hung up the phone.
There's a pause.
"WELL FUCK YOU MOTHERFU--" click
I'm going to try and time my picking up these calls such that I get to hear that every time we get a sales call.
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2 comments:
In the early 00's, I once had an AOL sales rep repeat his two and a half minute sales pitch to me seven times.
I played it completely straight, asking him to repeat his entire spiel from the beginning each time he stopped reading.
Luckily, I was prepared that afternoon and got the whole, 21 minute call on tape. It's the most uncomfortable, reverse prank phone call you'll ever hear.
that was actually me calling you ryan.
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