Paris Hilton

Currently Crying To: Stranger Than Fiction (starring Will Ferrell, Maggie Gylenhoweveryouspellhername, Queen Latifah and some old people)
I know it kind of damages my image of rugged individualism and apathy to talk about this, but following the Paris Hilton-xanga background debacle and the House of Wax thing, I think I'm in the green on this one.

Three days, obviously, is ridiculous, and I'm glad they're taking her back to jail, but at the same time, 45 days isn't much better. I suppose it never occured to anyone in the California judicial area that she did something not just illegal by driving drunk, but something really, really, REALLY (repeated for emphasis) reckless and dangerous... She drove DRUNK. People could have been hurt, seriously injured... Oh, I don't know, KILLED? DEAD? And it's not like her prison sentence, where they can commute it to house arrest if it's not going well; those people would be dead, in the ground, covered with dirt and sealed in wood. How the FUCK is it fair for Martha Stewart, by selling some stocks using privileged info to make some money that really wouldn't make much of a difference to her, gets a stiffer sentence? Paris very easily could have killed someone (it's about the same as swinging a knife around out in a crowded public space) and she gets 45 days TOPS. Martha spent a year in jail for stealing. Yes, it's wrong, but hurts less people. No once can die when you're manipulating the stock market.

This is bullshit, especially when you see that another woman got off with six years for shooting her husband while he slept. Six years for murder? I wish I were a woman and judges were too afraid to do any serious punishment for fear of being labelled sexist.

I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on the fact that PEOPLE COULD HAVE DIED. DEAD NOT LIVING. LET ME SAY IT AGAIN TO, ONCE MORE, EMPHASIZE: DEAD.

Two words: death penalty. But I'll take it a step further and suggest that they not even say, "We're going to kill you." They should play like Russian Roulette or something with her. She might die, she might not. Hey, just like that time she went driving drunk!

I'd support the death penalty if the methods were analogous to however people committed their crimes. Timothy McVeigh, for instance, would be incinerated. Sadaam would have been gassed, et cetera. And I know people would be like, "That's inhumane", but let's be real for a second: we're executing them. That's not really humane to begin with. Why not spice things up a bit and sell it on Pay Per View?

Maybe a tiger pit would be fun... Has anyone killed someone else with a tiger lately, just so we can do it on him in response?