Being Considered A State Doesn't Make You A Real State

You know who you are, MAINE.

Maine equals lame. Well, I suppose it wasn't that bad, but some of the people I went with were assholes, bitches or both. Most of the kids were a-ok, but the authority figures really pissed me off. Let me introduce you to all the people on this trip:

1. Myself: really cool. But you knew that. Or did you? Well, either way, you know now and that's all that matters.
2. My brother: Not a bad dude when I'm not trying to piss him off. I hung out with him a lot. AND he paid for some of my meals after I wasted money on things that I really needed, like the new Audioslave CD.
3. The "Bermuda triangle": Three cool cats (all females, none lesbians) that I hung out with when not hanging out with my brother. One is like a female version of myself, the second a girl who went from 2nd to 7th in her class after the premiere of the O.C. and the third has seen the new Star Wars 5 times. And she still almost cries when Anakin kills the toddlers. She also spent a lot of time and money at the Hemporium.
   
4. Fat Bitch #1: A large young woman who never seemed to leave me alone or take the hint that I cringed every time she spoke to me. She bitched up a storm the entire time.
5. Fat Bitch #2: Much like her sister in that she had every one of my undesirable qualities times a thousand. She is annoying and bitchy and unfunny as fuck. But you know what was funny? When my brother and I read her diary. It was on a piano and therefore fair game. She also has a bizarre infatuation with Lord of the Rings and the male characters in those really fucking boring movies/books.
   
6. The Kid Who Can't Really Talk: I used to think he was stupid, but now I know that he is just a redneck with a bit of a speech impediment and doesn't use big words much. He's a cool cat once you get to know him.
7. The Two-Faced Asshole Known As Our Group Leader: Pretty much sums it up. One minute he thinks he's a philosopher, then he wants to be your pal, then he's being a piece of shit to people for no apparent reason. Do you know what the first thing he said to me when I walked into the Sunday School classroom for the first time 2 years ago was? "I've heard about you." Though I'm not sure what I should expect from the guy who said that you sould support your president no matter what. What an ass.
8. His Wife: She really didn't talk at all. She really did nothing at all. But you know what she did do? She told her husband her opinion about me, which was based on my previous hobby of annoying her when she taught the other Sunday School class, which became her husband's opinion of me.
9. The Christian Education Director: My brother and I debated long and hard on why she came. She had no previous involvement with the group, so why does she get a free trip to Maine? She was also quite rude to my brother and I.
10. One Of The Priests: He is pretty old, and a really, really bad driver. He snores, too, and enjoys stretching out in airplane seats, much to the dismay of... me.

The highlights of the trip pretty much all involved doing things we weren't supposed to, like listening to Maria Bamford, listening to Audioslave, watching the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Degrassi and leaving the group to go hang out elsewhere, because my brother and I are cool like that. This trip was most definitely an enlightening experience. It opened my eyes to the greed and selfishness of some people from the church, showed me the ridiculousness/useless-ness of organized religion AND made me aware of the fact that I can do the Carlton dance. We went to Canada, which was cool, except they refused to let me pay my bill for lunch directly, so I didn't get any Canadian money. They also said that 10 dollars a day should be enough as far as food goes, but not only were we there for one more day than they said, but we also we forced (Yes, forced, as in we were given no choice.) to eat at some restaurants that weren't exactly cheap, though the adults didn't mind since they all had credit cards. But I bought some pretty cool stuff, which I'll post pictures of later.

This post was supposed to be longer, but I forgot a ton of stuff. I guess I'll update wehn it returns to me. That's what I get for typing over a period of two days.