Complaint Department

Currently Listening To: Song For Clay [Disappear Here]
Daddy. Few words have the ability to make me cringe in a more dramatic way than this.

Don't get me wrong. Little kids can say it. I avoid little kids, so it's not an issue. But if you're, say, in the double digits... FORGET ABOUT IT. Never, ever say daddy. Don't call your father daddy to his face. Don't refer to him as that when he's not in the room. Don't even call him that in your diary. Never, ever use it. It's like the n-word, but without the whole racial, 500 years of injustice and intolerance aspect. So maybe that's a horrible example. Instead, it's like Fall Out Boy.

But I digress. "Clive, how did you come to this revelation?" My sister said it tonight. I know, that's terrible to get on here and whine about her. But it's not just her. There's this other girl at school who, despite having lived in northwest Georgia her entire life, just like her family for the past 100+ years, has a HUGE Valley Girl accent. And then she calls her dad and says, "Daddy... [pitiful, Zoolander sounding cough] I'm not feeling well, can I come home?" And she does this little head-bop thing and she's got this stupid smirk... "Daddy, can I, like, borrow your credit card?" "Daddy" "Daddy" "Da-" SHUT THE FUCK UP. You're not a character on a popular TV show about bitchy brats who live on the coast. In fact, you're not popular... At all. Give it up. Nyaw.