Currently Watching... Not The South Park Movie

The title would have had something to do with Wal-Mart, but that's a tad bit too cliche for me. But anyways, on to the bitching.

Last weekend, my brother got his driver license after 6 months of bitching. Because of this, he has been driving everywhere. Yesterday he asked me if I had a reason to go anywhere, and I was like, "Sure, let's go to Wal-Mart." So I was browsing the shitty selection when I thought, "Gee, the selection here is really shitty." I spent a while deciding what movie to buy. They had 27 billion copies of The Incredibles and an assload of Blue Collar Not-Very-Funny-Movie. That was about it. Then I saw a copy of the South Park movie. W00tz0rz, right? WRONG. I took it to the check out and the lady rang it up. Then this little buzzer goes off and the lady asks me for ID. So I pulled out my scimitar and sliced off her legs and teleported out of the building as the guards opened fire.*

The thing that irks me is that Blockbuster, Target and up until last December, Wal-Mart would have let me buy an R-rated movie no questions asked. I buy Unrated movies from Blockbuster all the time, and Wal-Mart sold me a copy of The Faculty in December, but not any more. I'd buy South Park at Blockbustizzle, but they don't have it. My theory is that if I had been buying The Passion on DVD, The Christian Reich would have let me buy an R-rated movie, but since I was buying the sinful South Park movie, the movie would corrupt me. I find it unfair that Wal-Mart has the right to shut every other business in town down, and thne enforce their beliefs on me. If I wanted to live like a conservative redneck in Arkansas, I'd move to Arkansas. My mom, brother and I watch South Park every Wednesday and my parents would obviously not care if I bought the movie, so why is it Wal-Mart's business to parent me? Even if my parents didn't want me watching it, it's still none of their business. They also shouldn't be able to decide what clothes we wear, what music we listen to, et cetra, which is what they're doing here. They've closed down prettym uch any business smaller than them that is competition by selling lower quality products for 13 cents less. I want a reason to sue those motherfuckers. And I hope someone systematically burns down all of their stores. Every last one. You're not helping employment in the area if you put other people out of business and hire illegal immigrants for cheaper. Hmmmm, I predict a riot.