Caution, Falling Angst

I'm gonna be spending this entire week alone. A week alone means deep thinking and The cure, which means getting depressed, which means gaining back the five-to-ten pounds I've lost during my recent unintentional annorexia (Sit here, or eat? Hmm, sit.). Most of the thinking will be about death, stemming from my pessimism and loss in faith of humanity(Real news taking back seat to news about Oscars and "It's raining! Right now!"). For me, it feels like people are always around when I want to be alone, and no one is to be found when I need someone to talk to. My grades have begun to tank lately, after a breif rising period, and I even managed to get two C's on our exams. Of course, I'm just being a selfish fuck, considering one of my friends and one of my peers are currently floating, lost in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico and have been for about a day. I'll be honest, one of the kids wasn't my friend. He wasn't exactly nice to me, and I wasn't nice back. I don't really know what I did to piss him off, but part of his daily routine was to call me a fat kid and push me into something. I would respond by asking him why he kept following me around, which eventually morphed into "Fuck off". We used to be really good friends, but towards the end I became his fat little punching bag. I guess things were rough for him at school and maybe home, so he took his pain out on someone else, but I don't really know for sure. If he dies, he will be the first person to die with something to hold against me. A grudge, yeah, like that really shitty movie I rented a while back. I'll end with a highly offensive/inappropriate reflection on the subject from our pal, Hunter Logan: "Did you see that movie open water?" -HL, 2/27/05