Algebra Was A Bloodbath Today

Currently Watching: What's Eating Gilbert Grape
So today in math, while busy not paying attention, I was picking at this scab on my finger. No big deal, minor masochism as usual. So I glance over at my paper and then back at my finger and it is COVERED IN BLOOD. I was all, "zomfg, t3h fingr is bloodey lololzorz holy crap!" Being the brilliant young man I am, I decide to wipe it on my hand instead of, say, getting a Band-Aid or something of the like. Moments later, I realize it is still bleeding profusely. Then I get another brilliant idea. PAINT MY HAND WITH BLOOD. AND I DID. WHAT A LITTLE GOTH BITCH.

SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD JENNA IS A KILLER. Or so the commercial that keeps coming on says. I hate this kid. She is a vicious killer. She killed her "friend" by slamming her 90-pound body into his seat during a car accident. All because he was black. What a bitch. Well, that's not really how it played out, but whatever. Wal-Mart, however, really is racist. They had this commercial where it was all, "We sell board games" and then it shows a kid playing Operation and it says "FUTURE BRAIN SURGEON". Then a kid playing Monopoly is declared a future entrepreneur. Here's the racist part. A black kid is playing Trouble. What is he? A future trouble-maker. Those racist bitches.

This movie would have been better if something ate Gilbert Grape at the end. Something really unlikely and random and such, like a banana. That would be funny because Gilbert Grape was eaten by a banana, the archnemesis of grapes.