Sexual Pizza

Currently Listening To: I Don't Want Your Love by Duran Duran

Tonight I was in party mode. If you didn't go to middle school with me, you can't understand party-mode. Let me just say, it's like being high on everything at the same time. I was a party monster by my eleventh birthday, with the dance, barf, eat, sleep under table cycle being repeated twice a month up in Rome. When we hit high school, the parties stopped, and I hung up my party hat for what I thought was for good.

That all changed tonight. Two parties in one night. The first was uneventful except that it was the first time I crashed a party. I ate nachos and left after about an hour. The second party, however, was the re-birth of a party monster. Not to be confused with that Macauly Culkin movie where he was a crack-addict transvestite who killed his manfriend. Oh man, we bumped'n'grind...ed, swam with our clothes on("This is like the O.C. But it doesn't suck.") and ate sexual pizza. It was almost like the old days, except none of the conceited folks made the scene, I am now a horndog and I didn't snort any coke off of a knife blade. ALL SMILES, EH?


Tricking people isn't teaching them valuable lessons. Two examples: pop quizzes with deceiving questions and speed traps. Cops and Mr. Schmidt: you have FAILED. Teach me, not fail me; warn me, not fine me. You aren't protecting the people by making them pay money. And flashing your lights to warn people of cops shouldn't be illegal because it encourages them to follow the law so Johnny Corrupt can't bring them down. DAMN YOU THE MAN.



GOOD LUCK IN SPAIN, LAURA (It was a party in her honor, even though she pushed me in the pool.)