Well jeez cheese Louise, that's hella lame. I mean, that really sucks. 1000 people dead in one day?
Damn.
Oh, and you greedy ass gas station employees? Don't be suprised to find that your house has been run over with a bulldozer when you return home. Assholes.
5 bucks a gallon? Damn.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Pulp Fiction in 30 seconds with bunnies.
Pretty self explanatory.
U.K. school tailors policy to foul mouths: Students can use 'f-word' up to 5 times per lesson
Sounds like fun, eh?
U.K. school tailors policy to foul mouths: Students can use 'f-word' up to 5 times per lesson
Sounds like fun, eh?
New Orleans is fuxxed
"Reports of shootings, carjackings and looting in the area near the Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans, a policeman tells CNN. More soon." Ah, the beauty of martial law. I wonder how long it will take for Dennis Quaid to walk from Washington DC to Nawlins and rescue his son from the Mediocre-Dome. Ah, Dennis Quaid, I'd see any movie with you in it. But not that Richard Gere asshole. Oh, how I hate him. But Dennis Quaid is cool.
"I'll come for you." -Dennis Quaid, The Day After Mardi Gras, next summer's big blockbuster.
Eastern European-named hurricanes=hardcore. Ivan, Katrina... Aren't those the names of Russian Czars? Schweet.
So that big wall was supposed to protect them... but it didn't. Weak. And martial law sounds hella lame. What is this, Compton? Bullsheeeeeeeeeeeeet.
"I'll come for you." -Dennis Quaid, The Day After Mardi Gras, next summer's big blockbuster.
Eastern European-named hurricanes=hardcore. Ivan, Katrina... Aren't those the names of Russian Czars? Schweet.
So that big wall was supposed to protect them... but it didn't. Weak. And martial law sounds hella lame. What is this, Compton? Bullsheeeeeeeeeeeeet.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Only Emo Kids Like Emo Kids
Currently Listening To: Big City Takeover by Dogs Die In Hot Cars
My brother called me emo today so I lept across the room and bit off his face. I'd rather be a cannibal than an emo kid.
I've been feeling very irritable lately, so go fuxx yourself you asshat. I hate you and everything you stand for.
Bitch.
My brother called me emo today so I lept across the room and bit off his face. I'd rather be a cannibal than an emo kid.
I've been feeling very irritable lately, so go fuxx yourself you asshat. I hate you and everything you stand for.
Bitch.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Sexual Pizza
Currently Listening To: I Don't Want Your Love by Duran Duran
Tonight I was in party mode. If you didn't go to middle school with me, you can't understand party-mode. Let me just say, it's like being high on everything at the same time. I was a party monster by my eleventh birthday, with the dance, barf, eat, sleep under table cycle being repeated twice a month up in Rome. When we hit high school, the parties stopped, and I hung up my party hat for what I thought was for good.
That all changed tonight. Two parties in one night. The first was uneventful except that it was the first time I crashed a party. I ate nachos and left after about an hour. The second party, however, was the re-birth of a party monster. Not to be confused with that Macauly Culkin movie where he was a crack-addict transvestite who killed his manfriend. Oh man, we bumped'n'grind...ed, swam with our clothes on("This is like the O.C. But it doesn't suck.") and ate sexual pizza. It was almost like the old days, except none of the conceited folks made the scene, I am now a horndog and I didn't snort any coke off of a knife blade. ALL SMILES, EH?
Tricking people isn't teaching them valuable lessons. Two examples: pop quizzes with deceiving questions and speed traps. Cops and Mr. Schmidt: you have FAILED. Teach me, not fail me; warn me, not fine me. You aren't protecting the people by making them pay money. And flashing your lights to warn people of cops shouldn't be illegal because it encourages them to follow the law so Johnny Corrupt can't bring them down. DAMN YOU THE MAN.
GOOD LUCK IN SPAIN, LAURA (It was a party in her honor, even though she pushed me in the pool.)
Tonight I was in party mode. If you didn't go to middle school with me, you can't understand party-mode. Let me just say, it's like being high on everything at the same time. I was a party monster by my eleventh birthday, with the dance, barf, eat, sleep under table cycle being repeated twice a month up in Rome. When we hit high school, the parties stopped, and I hung up my party hat for what I thought was for good.
That all changed tonight. Two parties in one night. The first was uneventful except that it was the first time I crashed a party. I ate nachos and left after about an hour. The second party, however, was the re-birth of a party monster. Not to be confused with that Macauly Culkin movie where he was a crack-addict transvestite who killed his manfriend. Oh man, we bumped'n'grind...ed, swam with our clothes on("This is like the O.C. But it doesn't suck.") and ate sexual pizza. It was almost like the old days, except none of the conceited folks made the scene, I am now a horndog and I didn't snort any coke off of a knife blade. ALL SMILES, EH?
Tricking people isn't teaching them valuable lessons. Two examples: pop quizzes with deceiving questions and speed traps. Cops and Mr. Schmidt: you have FAILED. Teach me, not fail me; warn me, not fine me. You aren't protecting the people by making them pay money. And flashing your lights to warn people of cops shouldn't be illegal because it encourages them to follow the law so Johnny Corrupt can't bring them down. DAMN YOU THE MAN.
GOOD LUCK IN SPAIN, LAURA (It was a party in her honor, even though she pushed me in the pool.)
Friday, August 26, 2005
Why I Hate Kids At School And Cell Phones
Currently Listening To: Do You Want To by Franz Ferdinand
So the standard phone at school now is the Motorola one you get for free when you sign up for Cingular. I would say 70 or so kids have one, at the least. AND it's a really nice phone, considering it's FREE. Well anyways, yesterday, I busted mine out to call Pops, when this girl on the bus says, "Oh, I hate that phone!" I figured her reason would be some non-conformist bullshit, you know, the usual. But she said it's because it doesn't have a camera on it. Why the fuck do you need a camera on your phone? So you can take pictures of your friends acting like jackasses and then have that picture pop up when they call you with something meaningless to say? One time someone said they'd be useful if someone was raping or mugging you, because you could get their picture, but I'm sure if that situation ever came about, they'd either swipe your phone or slit your throat before you could get a good shot. Maybe they'd strike a pose for you. "Now look angry. Pretend you're a tiger, be fierce!" And then this other girl had a razor phone. Again, why? Whores. WHORES. WHORES. WHORES. I am FURIOUS now. Just thinking about these conceited bitches makes me want to push an old person down some stairs, or kick a baby. I mean, I am FIRED UP. I'm also fired up about the annoying little fuxxas who seem to just talk so they can be sure their voices are still working. They ask really stupid and unnecessary questions. I wish they'd stop wasting my precious air before I throw them into a vat of scalding hot fruit punch.
FDA delays decision about morning-after pill
So teens getting pregnant is bad, but not as bad as teens taking morning-after pills...
What? That doesn't make any sense. By the way, did you, my loyal, non-existant audience hear about the Ohio high school where 1 in 7 of the girls are pregnant? That is crazy. I want to go to that school... and hand out condoms or something. I can only imagine all of the STDs floating around with these babies.
So the standard phone at school now is the Motorola one you get for free when you sign up for Cingular. I would say 70 or so kids have one, at the least. AND it's a really nice phone, considering it's FREE. Well anyways, yesterday, I busted mine out to call Pops, when this girl on the bus says, "Oh, I hate that phone!" I figured her reason would be some non-conformist bullshit, you know, the usual. But she said it's because it doesn't have a camera on it. Why the fuck do you need a camera on your phone? So you can take pictures of your friends acting like jackasses and then have that picture pop up when they call you with something meaningless to say? One time someone said they'd be useful if someone was raping or mugging you, because you could get their picture, but I'm sure if that situation ever came about, they'd either swipe your phone or slit your throat before you could get a good shot. Maybe they'd strike a pose for you. "Now look angry. Pretend you're a tiger, be fierce!" And then this other girl had a razor phone. Again, why? Whores. WHORES. WHORES. WHORES. I am FURIOUS now. Just thinking about these conceited bitches makes me want to push an old person down some stairs, or kick a baby. I mean, I am FIRED UP. I'm also fired up about the annoying little fuxxas who seem to just talk so they can be sure their voices are still working. They ask really stupid and unnecessary questions. I wish they'd stop wasting my precious air before I throw them into a vat of scalding hot fruit punch.
FDA delays decision about morning-after pill
So teens getting pregnant is bad, but not as bad as teens taking morning-after pills...
What? That doesn't make any sense. By the way, did you, my loyal, non-existant audience hear about the Ohio high school where 1 in 7 of the girls are pregnant? That is crazy. I want to go to that school... and hand out condoms or something. I can only imagine all of the STDs floating around with these babies.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Missing 'Sleepover' actress found
The reason as to why the movie was actually released has, however, yet to be discovered.
A kid has already been kicked out of school, not even two weeks in. Rumor has it he and his girlfriend, who met last Monday, have had sex THREE TIMES, once in the first two hours of knowing each other. That sets the record for second fastest expulsion, first prize going to the kid who brought pot to visitor day. Yes, a drug violation before he was even allowed in. My heroes. Plenty of dumb kids in all of my classes. Sometimes I wonder how these kids manage to breathe. How dumb can you get? One girl said solar power was stupid because you can't do anything at night. I kid you not, she said that. Another girl wanted to know if there would ever actually be acid rain, and so on and so forth. Also, FYI, my chemistry teacher from Ireland? VERY easy to understand his accent, contrary to popular belief. I think people just don't want to be able to understand him. It's like if you accidentally cut yourself, sometimes you can't tell until you see it. You only feel pain because you expect to. Know'm sayin', know'm sayin'? Otherwise, I'm doing okay in school. Could be better(I could be NOT in school), could be worse(Well, things would have to be pretty bad to be worse. I'd rather be sick than at school. And I mean like serious, "feel like shit" sick, not "I have a cough" sick.)
I've been watching some disturbing movies lately, Texas Chainsaw Massacre last night(Instead of studying for English) and Gacy tonight. I didn't see about half of either, but they were FREAKY. Especially Gacy. What a sick fuxxa.
Gacy. Ewww.
A kid has already been kicked out of school, not even two weeks in. Rumor has it he and his girlfriend, who met last Monday, have had sex THREE TIMES, once in the first two hours of knowing each other. That sets the record for second fastest expulsion, first prize going to the kid who brought pot to visitor day. Yes, a drug violation before he was even allowed in. My heroes. Plenty of dumb kids in all of my classes. Sometimes I wonder how these kids manage to breathe. How dumb can you get? One girl said solar power was stupid because you can't do anything at night. I kid you not, she said that. Another girl wanted to know if there would ever actually be acid rain, and so on and so forth. Also, FYI, my chemistry teacher from Ireland? VERY easy to understand his accent, contrary to popular belief. I think people just don't want to be able to understand him. It's like if you accidentally cut yourself, sometimes you can't tell until you see it. You only feel pain because you expect to. Know'm sayin', know'm sayin'? Otherwise, I'm doing okay in school. Could be better(I could be NOT in school), could be worse(Well, things would have to be pretty bad to be worse. I'd rather be sick than at school. And I mean like serious, "feel like shit" sick, not "I have a cough" sick.)
I've been watching some disturbing movies lately, Texas Chainsaw Massacre last night(Instead of studying for English) and Gacy tonight. I didn't see about half of either, but they were FREAKY. Especially Gacy. What a sick fuxxa.
Gacy. Ewww.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
White House dismisses Chavez assassination call
Pat Robertson wants everyone dead. He wants Supreme Court judges dead, communist leaders dead, well you know what? I want him CANCELLED. I want him to shut his crusty-ass mouth the hell up.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
A Movie About Napoleon Dynamite And Terri Schaivo?
Why the hell didn't I think of that?
I'll make one with the same premise, but call it 'Lovesong' or 'Friday, I'm in Love' instead of 'Just Like Heaven'. People would still see it.
Hawaiians slide into dangerous sport
It's called 'dying'. I mean, it's called 'lava sledding'.
'Piano Man' revealed as German
What an ass. I hate him now.
Rudolph apologizes for Olympic bombing
That's all fine and dandy, but the woman is still dead, you asshole. Have fun in jail, fucker.
I'll make one with the same premise, but call it 'Lovesong' or 'Friday, I'm in Love' instead of 'Just Like Heaven'. People would still see it.
Hawaiians slide into dangerous sport
It's called 'dying'. I mean, it's called 'lava sledding'.
'Piano Man' revealed as German
What an ass. I hate him now.
Rudolph apologizes for Olympic bombing
That's all fine and dandy, but the woman is still dead, you asshole. Have fun in jail, fucker.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Boycott the Caf - A Degrassi: The Next Generation Site
That website is what it would be like if Maddox weren't lame and instead liked Degrassi. Of course, liking Degrassi makes you not lame, so all he'd need to do is start watching that spectacle of Candian cinematography and he'd be a badass.
Like previously mentioned here, school equals meh. Not much can change that. Of course, there was that poster sale yesterday(I got Mallrats and Revenge of the Sith), but they weren't really responsible for that. It was Rome, GA's traveling band of poster vending gay hippies. This brings the total count of gay people in Rome to about 5.
But Rome could never be a real city, not in its wildest dreams.
But anyways, new schedule at school=confusing. I had all the times memorized and then those bastards went and changed it. Then there was that book they made us read, of which I finally figured out the point of: anybody can write a book about anything and still make money. So my plans for a book about the history of spray cheese and how spray cheese can better the future of our shitty planet ARE GO. The ban on iPods during school hours is hella lame too. Why? Last year the reasoning was "To prevent cheating"(?) but this year it's "To preserve the community atmosphere of our school, or something like that". What a lame reason. Thank you, Darlington, for making me even more cynical. Hmmmm, what else...
Well I seem to have forgotten the rest of my complaints. What a tragedy, I know. I miss summer. This week was definitely not the height of badassery.
EDIT: I forgot the key to getting comments: asking a 'deep' question. Here it goes: Would you be in the band Morningwood*?
(from Nth Degree by Morningwood)
"The four of us. The Royal We.
He bangs the drums, she's VIP.
He's never done, got OCD.
Our love is to the Nth Degree.
Uh oh, here we go.
Turn up the radio,
Come on everybody
To the Nth Degree
If you rock and roll, disco, everybody lets go
Come on everybody, to the Nth Degree
And I've got my family
And one big bed is all we need"
Yes, they all sleep in one bed. All 4 of them. I would so love to be the guy on her other side, you know? The guy not sleeping next to another guy.
FX, I warned you already: stop trying to be edgy. Making light of cancer counts as trying to be edgy. Stop. Cancel that Philly show. The eating disorder one too. I am not impressed. In the eternal words of Sean Cameron, "You're about as edgy as a butterknife." Oh how Degrassi kicks ass. Except for post-bi-polar-mental-brakedown Craig. I miss the days when he did things because he was an inconsiderate ass. Now he does things and people say, "Forgive him, he has a mental disorder. Whadda little bitch.
From now on, I will try and talk with a JFK/Mayor Quimby accent because I've started talking like a Southerner.
Like previously mentioned here, school equals meh. Not much can change that. Of course, there was that poster sale yesterday(I got Mallrats and Revenge of the Sith), but they weren't really responsible for that. It was Rome, GA's traveling band of poster vending gay hippies. This brings the total count of gay people in Rome to about 5.
But Rome could never be a real city, not in its wildest dreams.
But anyways, new schedule at school=confusing. I had all the times memorized and then those bastards went and changed it. Then there was that book they made us read, of which I finally figured out the point of: anybody can write a book about anything and still make money. So my plans for a book about the history of spray cheese and how spray cheese can better the future of our shitty planet ARE GO. The ban on iPods during school hours is hella lame too. Why? Last year the reasoning was "To prevent cheating"(?) but this year it's "To preserve the community atmosphere of our school, or something like that". What a lame reason. Thank you, Darlington, for making me even more cynical. Hmmmm, what else...
Well I seem to have forgotten the rest of my complaints. What a tragedy, I know. I miss summer. This week was definitely not the height of badassery.
EDIT: I forgot the key to getting comments: asking a 'deep' question. Here it goes: Would you be in the band Morningwood*?
(from Nth Degree by Morningwood)
"The four of us. The Royal We.
He bangs the drums, she's VIP.
He's never done, got OCD.
Our love is to the Nth Degree.
Uh oh, here we go.
Turn up the radio,
Come on everybody
To the Nth Degree
If you rock and roll, disco, everybody lets go
Come on everybody, to the Nth Degree
And I've got my family
And one big bed is all we need"
Yes, they all sleep in one bed. All 4 of them. I would so love to be the guy on her other side, you know? The guy not sleeping next to another guy.
FX, I warned you already: stop trying to be edgy. Making light of cancer counts as trying to be edgy. Stop. Cancel that Philly show. The eating disorder one too. I am not impressed. In the eternal words of Sean Cameron, "You're about as edgy as a butterknife." Oh how Degrassi kicks ass. Except for post-bi-polar-mental-brakedown Craig. I miss the days when he did things because he was an inconsiderate ass. Now he does things and people say, "Forgive him, he has a mental disorder. Whadda little bitch.
From now on, I will try and talk with a JFK/Mayor Quimby accent because I've started talking like a Southerner.
CNN.com - Top general: Army preparing for 4 more years - Aug 20, 2005
Pentagon defends base closures plan
Gadhafi invites Bush to Libya
Resisting... Urge... To Talk... About Politics
DONE. Good, because that would have been hella boring to type.
Gadhafi invites Bush to Libya
Resisting... Urge... To Talk... About Politics
DONE. Good, because that would have been hella boring to type.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
CNN.com - Cojocaru again looking for new kidney - Aug 17, 2005
I'll gladly donate if I never have to hear from or of him ever again.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Wookie Dance Party
Yesterday I saw a bumpersticker that said "The Best Things In Life Aren't Things", which caused a fo' serious flashback. It was in 8th grade, in science class and there was this sign that said, brace yourself for this one... "The Best Things In Life Aren't Things". And Jeff Grizzard, whose family is absolutely loaded, asked the teacher how the best things could get away with not being things. She replied with all of that "money-doesn't-buy-happiness-bullshit" and went on about how he couldn't understand because he had so many things. If I had a million dollars, I would be happy, no doubt. I guarantee if I had a large sum of money, I would be plenty satisfied. And then Clay took this picture of a harbor (I guess we were learning about like waves and they were using an ocean metaphor because the book would be too easy for a remedial science. Seriously, it was so watered down and stupid and easy.
For serious.) Anyways, Clay wrote next to all of the boats "Jeff's Boat" or "Jeff's Mom's Boat" and he wrote "Jeff's Family's Harbor" because they are loaded, for serious. This reminds me of another memory of 8th grade science, when we were doing some boring crap, and Clay just randomly blurted out a dead baby joke, which were the big thing in middle school. So tasteless, yet so funny at the same time. But not to all of those teachers with newborns. Ah, reminiscing about good times. Well that was fun, I should do it more often. Yes, that's it! There will defs be more great me-memories, because I know you sorry sonsabitches love them. LOVE THEM.
Happy To Announce That Our Cat Is No Longer Possesed
Currently Listening To: Fearless by the Bravery
I am thrilled to announce that after a few months of being Satan's housecat, our once-friendly cat is now no longer one of the Devil's minions. Unfortunately, my bathroom is still possesed and I am going to have to call an exorcist pretty soon.
School starts Monday... Monday... MONDAY.
I'm not listening to the Bravery any more. That was like twelve songs ago, man. Speaking of the best band EVAHHH!, I bought their CD yesterday for super-cheaps. 10 bucks at Target. I spelled Target 'Traget' the first time around, which leads me to believe I have slysdexia. I also bought Superstar for BIVE FUCKS! That's a good deal, bitches. But on a whinier note, someone who accompanied my mom and I on the excursion, who I will from now on refer to as Penelope Fuller Wetherington-St. Smythe of Derbyshire Commonwealth so people won't be so upset by how mean to her I am. Aaaanyways, as I was throwing all the crazy crap I was buying into the cart, she looked at my mom and said, "Are you really buying him all that?" In all my years of enjoying capitalism, I have ALWAYS been expected to pay for the random crap that I buy, unless it's some crazy McSpecial occassion. Penelope Fuller Wetherington-St. Smythe of Derbyshire Commonwealth quite possibly suffers from delusional paranoia. I enjoyed capitalism on Wednesday as well. I bout a shirt with a picture of a fan and the words 'This Blows' underneath for BIX SUCKS! Ghat a wreat deal!
Slysdexia? Do noubt!
I am thrilled to announce that after a few months of being Satan's housecat, our once-friendly cat is now no longer one of the Devil's minions. Unfortunately, my bathroom is still possesed and I am going to have to call an exorcist pretty soon.
School starts Monday... Monday... MONDAY.
This makes me sad. And I was wrong about the new schedule for D-Nasty. Advisor meetings go from 8-8:10, followed by 20 minutes for coach class, with schoo' starting at 8:30. Break is twenty or so minutes shorter this year. I'm really not liking this president guy. Why the hell did he change so much just one month into his reign... OF TERROR?
I'm not listening to the Bravery any more. That was like twelve songs ago, man. Speaking of the best band EVAHHH!, I bought their CD yesterday for super-cheaps. 10 bucks at Target. I spelled Target 'Traget' the first time around, which leads me to believe I have slysdexia. I also bought Superstar for BIVE FUCKS! That's a good deal, bitches. But on a whinier note, someone who accompanied my mom and I on the excursion, who I will from now on refer to as Penelope Fuller Wetherington-St. Smythe of Derbyshire Commonwealth so people won't be so upset by how mean to her I am. Aaaanyways, as I was throwing all the crazy crap I was buying into the cart, she looked at my mom and said, "Are you really buying him all that?" In all my years of enjoying capitalism, I have ALWAYS been expected to pay for the random crap that I buy, unless it's some crazy McSpecial occassion. Penelope Fuller Wetherington-St. Smythe of Derbyshire Commonwealth quite possibly suffers from delusional paranoia. I enjoyed capitalism on Wednesday as well. I bout a shirt with a picture of a fan and the words 'This Blows' underneath for BIX SUCKS! Ghat a wreat deal!
Slysdexia? Do noubt!
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Period Zero?
Finally!
A deep website that is actually deep.
And really sad and depressing and you just might cut your wrists after reading it. But I still read it.
And no, I don't cut.
I'll take a picture of myself in a short-sleeve shirt to prove it.
And really sad and depressing and you just might cut your wrists after reading it. But I still read it.
And no, I don't cut.
I'll take a picture of myself in a short-sleeve shirt to prove it.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Finally: A Rant About Someone Not In My Family
Currently Listening To: Air
Instead, I'm going to complain about my brother's friend Tyler. First, for over-use of the word 'nigger'. And use of the phrase 'nigger-lover' to describe a person. I would expect this from a hick or an inbred or an inbred hick, but a regular person? Is it even necessary to say that word at all? Especially in the presence of, say, a large black man that time at Krystal's, White Castle's mentally challenged country-cousin?
And then today, my brother, his girlfriend, Tyler and I went out to dinner. The one waitress working was working her ass off, and when she brought the food, she said, "I'll be back with a fork for you in a second," to which he replied, "How the hell am I supposed to eat without a fork?" LEAVE THE POOR WOMAN ALONE YOU ASSHOLE. IT WAS TOO LATE FOR HER TO SPIT IN YOUR FOOD, BUT I COULD HAVE AND SHOULD HAVE.
ASS.
Tyler looks at barnyard porn, according to legend.
Instead, I'm going to complain about my brother's friend Tyler. First, for over-use of the word 'nigger'. And use of the phrase 'nigger-lover' to describe a person. I would expect this from a hick or an inbred or an inbred hick, but a regular person? Is it even necessary to say that word at all? Especially in the presence of, say, a large black man that time at Krystal's, White Castle's mentally challenged country-cousin?
And then today, my brother, his girlfriend, Tyler and I went out to dinner. The one waitress working was working her ass off, and when she brought the food, she said, "I'll be back with a fork for you in a second," to which he replied, "How the hell am I supposed to eat without a fork?" LEAVE THE POOR WOMAN ALONE YOU ASSHOLE. IT WAS TOO LATE FOR HER TO SPIT IN YOUR FOOD, BUT I COULD HAVE AND SHOULD HAVE.
ASS.
Tyler looks at barnyard porn, according to legend.
Do you wanna go to the moon? Cost is $100 million
"ride a Russian Soyuz rocket to the moon and back as soon as 2008"
I love how they have to indicate that they will be coming back, too.
I love how they have to indicate that they will be coming back, too.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
CNN.com - Dragnet out for fugitive and wife - Aug 9, 2005
After years of learning from Hollywood (Well, movies, seeing as only losers film their movies in Hollywood.), I can safely assume that the man was wrongfully imprisoned and he must escape to save the world. And I am taller than both of them.
CNN.com - A-bomb pilot: We knew it was going to kill - Aug 9, 2005
As opposed to, say, spread flowers all over the place or make it smell like one of those scented laundry detergents?
MOUNTAIN SPRING SCENT ATOMIC BOMBS
CNN.com - A-bomb pilot: We knew it was going to kill - Aug 9, 2005
As opposed to, say, spread flowers all over the place or make it smell like one of those scented laundry detergents?
MOUNTAIN SPRING SCENT ATOMIC BOMBS
Monday, August 08, 2005
iTunes Rant
Currently Listening To: Not anything in iTunes
iTunes is really pissing me off. I use iTunes because I'm trying to do the right thing. Though helping the Man probably isn't the right thing to do. But anyways, I was buying some songs today, and as I was going down the list of songs I want that I had written up, I kept finding that the songs I had my eyes on were listed as "Album Only." I don't want the whole album. I wanted ONE SONG. iTunes really has me by the nuts here. If I were to say, "Okay, I'll buy the album," but now some albums, namely the ones I want songs off of, cost two dollars more (So essentially what you pay in the store.) so you can get crap like music videos and artist interviews. I don't want that stuff. I JUST WANT THE FUCKING SONG. ONE FUCKING SONG. Is it really that hard? And wasn't that the selling point for iTunes? Only get the music you want, pay a dollar per song, etc.? But now I have to pay 12 bucks for one mother humping song. DAMN YOU iTUNES! Of course, I didn't cave and buy the whole albums. You can't let the Man win. See, buying songs is just keeping him at bay. Caving and buying the whole album for one song is letting him win. There's a difference.
Right now I'm watching Resident Evil with the commentary on, which is basically the same as watching the movie without the commentary because they went for at least 5 minutes with no commentating. Evidently Milla didn't understand the meaning of a commentary before recording it, and Michelle Rodreguiez had never seen the whole movie. And every few minutes, Michelle mispronounces Milla's last name and Milla goes absolutely balistic. Oh the hilarity.
iTunes is really pissing me off. I use iTunes because I'm trying to do the right thing. Though helping the Man probably isn't the right thing to do. But anyways, I was buying some songs today, and as I was going down the list of songs I want that I had written up, I kept finding that the songs I had my eyes on were listed as "Album Only." I don't want the whole album. I wanted ONE SONG. iTunes really has me by the nuts here. If I were to say, "Okay, I'll buy the album," but now some albums, namely the ones I want songs off of, cost two dollars more (So essentially what you pay in the store.) so you can get crap like music videos and artist interviews. I don't want that stuff. I JUST WANT THE FUCKING SONG. ONE FUCKING SONG. Is it really that hard? And wasn't that the selling point for iTunes? Only get the music you want, pay a dollar per song, etc.? But now I have to pay 12 bucks for one mother humping song. DAMN YOU iTUNES! Of course, I didn't cave and buy the whole albums. You can't let the Man win. See, buying songs is just keeping him at bay. Caving and buying the whole album for one song is letting him win. There's a difference.
Right now I'm watching Resident Evil with the commentary on, which is basically the same as watching the movie without the commentary because they went for at least 5 minutes with no commentating. Evidently Milla didn't understand the meaning of a commentary before recording it, and Michelle Rodreguiez had never seen the whole movie. And every few minutes, Michelle mispronounces Milla's last name and Milla goes absolutely balistic. Oh the hilarity.
CNN.com - 'Brat Camp' teen charged in racial graffiti case - Aug 8, 2005
It's a good thing the show helped him sort through his problems.
CNN.com - Sis, boom, busted - Aug 8, 2005: "Cheerleaders help police catch driver who left accident scene"
I don't know wether to laugh or think that this is the dumbest thing I have ever read. I almost feel bad for finding it funny. I can just imagine the conversation:
The Fuzz: Did you get the license plate number?
Cheerleaders: Give me a Q! Give me a B! Give me a...
Oh man. WORST NEWS STORY EVER.
BB gun shooting at Britney Spears sighting
Once again proving just how white-trash she is.
CNN.com - Sis, boom, busted - Aug 8, 2005: "Cheerleaders help police catch driver who left accident scene"
I don't know wether to laugh or think that this is the dumbest thing I have ever read. I almost feel bad for finding it funny. I can just imagine the conversation:
The Fuzz: Did you get the license plate number?
Cheerleaders: Give me a Q! Give me a B! Give me a...
Oh man. WORST NEWS STORY EVER.
BB gun shooting at Britney Spears sighting
Once again proving just how white-trash she is.
Currently Watching: The Maury Show (It's a paternity test episode... Who would have guessed?)
I have been watching these trash-TV shows all day, and I must say that they are awesome. But that is not why I am posting. I am posting to help people who, like me, have lame websites (I refuse to say the 'b' word any more, because it makes my site sound even crappier.) and want to make their lame personaql webpage better/awesome.
Like I said, last week I was in Washington DC. It was then that I decided to live in the city when I grow up. Why? Because everyone in big cities are assholes. That works well for me, an asshole. I'll get a job that involves coming in contact with many assholes. Then I'll fall in love with and marry an asshole and we'll make little assholes and all our asshole friends will congratulate us on a little bundles of ungrateful bastards. Oh what a happy life I will live in the big city!
Next week school starts back up. HELLA LAME What is worse? There are rumors that the new president has changed our schedule so that we have to come to school at 8 for 30 minute advisor meetings EVERY DAY, then 30 minutes for coach class/break, then school starts at nine. Just think about it. Was it really necesary? Will this at all enhance our learning experience to put break before any of our classes and to switch over to the homeroom system? I will say it again: HELLA LAME
And again: HELLA LAME
And again and again and again: HELLA LAME HELLA LAME HELLA LAME
And again: HELLA LAME
I have been watching these trash-TV shows all day, and I must say that they are awesome. But that is not why I am posting. I am posting to help people who, like me, have lame websites (I refuse to say the 'b' word any more, because it makes my site sound even crappier.) and want to make their lame personaql webpage better/awesome.
- Like I mentioned a while back, lots and lots of pictures.
- I don't do this much, but from what I've seen, this is the way to get plenty of people to your site: deep lyrics. Double points if the lyrics aren't deep, but no one knows the song so they think they're deep anyways. To prove this point, I found some Ashlee Simpson lyrics. The song is called Lala, and it is about Simpson, who is like a minor, or pretty close to it, and all the kinky shit she and her boyfriend do. This song disproved my point. But it was funny to find out that Ashlee Simpson is into that submission stuff. Actually, it's weird. Really weird.
- If you're REALLY desperate for readers, here is another fool-proof plan: become emo. On second thought, don't. There are far too many emo kids.
Like I said, last week I was in Washington DC. It was then that I decided to live in the city when I grow up. Why? Because everyone in big cities are assholes. That works well for me, an asshole. I'll get a job that involves coming in contact with many assholes. Then I'll fall in love with and marry an asshole and we'll make little assholes and all our asshole friends will congratulate us on a little bundles of ungrateful bastards. Oh what a happy life I will live in the big city!
Next week school starts back up. HELLA LAME What is worse? There are rumors that the new president has changed our schedule so that we have to come to school at 8 for 30 minute advisor meetings EVERY DAY, then 30 minutes for coach class/break, then school starts at nine. Just think about it. Was it really necesary? Will this at all enhance our learning experience to put break before any of our classes and to switch over to the homeroom system? I will say it again: HELLA LAME
And again: HELLA LAME
And again and again and again: HELLA LAME HELLA LAME HELLA LAME
And again: HELLA LAME
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Post Titles Are Over-Rated
Currently Watching: Harry Potter and the Chamber of something
On the Disney Channel. Holy shit.
On the Disney Channel. Holy shit.
So... I finished the summer reading book for school today. In case you either don't go to my school or are too much of a slacker to have read this book, it's called "Ecology of a Cracker Childhood". No lie. 
"Worst. Book. Ever."
"Worst. Book. Ever."And Comic Book Store Guy is a fairly reliable source. I mean, I started the book, curious what the actual plotline would be, and I got farther and farther in, and I realized that it wasn't going anywhere. I thought to myself, "Is something going to happen anytime soon?" It wasn't a story. It was a series of unrelated childhood memories, with hippie bitching about disappearing trees inbetween. If the trees she is talking about are so crucial to the life of this God-awful state (the book is about Georgia), why haven't I heard of them? And now, for my impression of the book:
"we lived in a junkyardSAVE THE TREES
all the men in my family are bipolar
SAVE THE SALAMANDERSwe were poor"
And that goes on for about 270-odd pages.OH THE HUMANITY. I can't believe I read it. For a 270 page book, it took me a hella long time to read. I read Harry Potter in two days, and Freakonomics in a matter of hours, but this one took weeks because it was so painful for me to read. This, however, is turning out to be a great post. I have something ELSE to bitch about now too! Isn't it great? So what ELSE is pissing me off tonight? FX. Not the movie, the TV channel. FX as in FOX without the 'O'. All of the shows on that channel are described by critics as 'edgy' and... other words similar to 'edgy'. They're like, "Let's push the limits of television again by makeing a show about (firefighters/the Iraq war/people with eating disorders/people from Philadelphia)!" They do this so you can't say you don't like the show because then people will think you (support terrorists/are a terrorist/are insensitive/didn't like that movie where Tom Hanks had AIDS, which is a sin because everyone knows if you don't like a movie about AIDS you must be an ignorant bastard). But I will be 'edgy' and go ahead and say that these shows suck because they just want to make me feel bad for not being a firefighter, or not being a soldier, or not having an eating disorder, or whatever. So anyways, don't watch that shitty network unless Married With Children is on. I love that show. Haha, I accidentally typed 'shoe' the first time around. WEEEEEE.
all the men in my family are bipolar
SAVE THE SALAMANDERSwe were poor"
And that goes on for about 270-odd pages.OH THE HUMANITY. I can't believe I read it. For a 270 page book, it took me a hella long time to read. I read Harry Potter in two days, and Freakonomics in a matter of hours, but this one took weeks because it was so painful for me to read. This, however, is turning out to be a great post. I have something ELSE to bitch about now too! Isn't it great? So what ELSE is pissing me off tonight? FX. Not the movie, the TV channel. FX as in FOX without the 'O'. All of the shows on that channel are described by critics as 'edgy' and... other words similar to 'edgy'. They're like, "Let's push the limits of television again by makeing a show about (firefighters/the Iraq war/people with eating disorders/people from Philadelphia)!" They do this so you can't say you don't like the show because then people will think you (support terrorists/are a terrorist/are insensitive/didn't like that movie where Tom Hanks had AIDS, which is a sin because everyone knows if you don't like a movie about AIDS you must be an ignorant bastard). But I will be 'edgy' and go ahead and say that these shows suck because they just want to make me feel bad for not being a firefighter, or not being a soldier, or not having an eating disorder, or whatever. So anyways, don't watch that shitty network unless Married With Children is on. I love that show. Haha, I accidentally typed 'shoe' the first time around. WEEEEEE.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
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