Currently Watching: A Nightmare On Elm Street
Things that should be banned, aside from Sugar, We're Going Down and that song about September:

1. Shirts that say "I love nerds". Anyone who wears one is likely lying, because if they really loved nerds instead of just saying they do after watching Napoleon Dynamite, they'd be wearing a nerd.
2. Popped collars. Just... Don't. They now even design collared shirts specifically to have popped collars. Only one man is allowed a popped collar. Other than that, people who slept in that morning are permitted no more than half of their collar popped. Are we clear?

My alarm clock has disappeared. I have reason to believe it was sucked into an inter-dimensional time portal. Fucking inter-dimensional time portals. If you live in another time period or dimension and have seen my beloved clock, please contact me in the third dimension. I need to know what time it is.