Gather 'Round Children, It's Conspiracy Theory Time!

Currently Listening To: Die, All Right! by the Hives

There's this commercial for Diet Pepsi that makes me cringe every time I see it. Why do I cringe? Because it exposes a huge conspiracy theory that the world has remained oblivious to since the dawn of man. Well, since the creation of Pepsi. Well, Diet Pepsi. But I digress. Anyways, it shows some kid closing up the Quick-E-Mart, but he left the music on. The song? Blitzkreig Bop by Ramones. And then the camera shows a drink case. There are four shelves; Diet Pepsi, Diet Coke, bottled water and sports drinks. The Pepsis are on the top dancing, and then the Diet Cokes start complaining. What's the problem there?
Now Listening To: All The Love In The World by Nine Inch Nails

A Jewish woman voices the Diet Coke. And when the bottles of water start to talk, they all have French accents. The sports drinks have very jock-y American accents. And what does the song Blitzkreig Bop refer to? The Blitz, which was when the Nazis bombed the shit out of London and some other British cities. Do you see where I'm going with this? You don't? Wow, you're one dumb piece of shit. But anyways, The Brits, Jews, French and Americans just so happened to be the people the Nazis hated most, other than cripples and gays. Well, they hated Jews the most, but Nazis hated everyone. But anyways, back to my conspiracy. Case and point, Pepsi=Nazi. So in ten years, when Nazi Cola has overnthrown our government and taken over and you could really go for a Coke, but don't want to risk being thrown into a pool of hydrocloric acid, always keep in mind that YOU were warned and YOU could have, neigh, SHOULD HAVE helped stop the problem before that cancerous growth of society got out of hand and spread everywhere. Thanks for ruining our country you asshole.